American Dad Pen123 Season 2
by pen123
Summary: Second season of American Dad, with more antics.
1. Oh Baby

**I don't own _American Dad,_ except for Zoey Wilson. The plot is similar to an episode of The Simpsons, so be warned. I do not own Kozier.**

 **Opening Scene**

The scene takes place at the Smith household. Hayley talks to the audience.

"A lot has happened. My dad was controlled by an evil boy. I had a baby girl. We tried to get dad to be normal again. I'm transitioning to become a mother" all this happened with flashbacks.

"Let's just say things are back to normal again" it turns out that Hayley was actually talking to a girl's scout, tricking the audience.

"Do you want these cookies or not?" the little girl asked.

 **End of Opening Scene**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at Hayley and Jeff's room in the Smith household. The couple walked towards their baby girl Mary sleeping in a crib. She had on pink pajamas, similar to Maggie Simpson. Her hair is the same color as her mother, although slightly the same size as her dad, but a bit shorter.

"Jeff, look at her. She is so cute!" Hayley squealed.

"That's our beautiful daughter right there. She's adorable, but very exhausting. I need to sleep" Jeff said as he and his wife went to get changed into their pajamas and later went to bed together.

"Good night, Jeff" Hayley said.

"Good night, babe" Jeff responded back as they turned off the lamp.

(Baby crying)

"Not again!" Jeff shouted.

The next day, Hayley was changing her diaper.

"How did mom do this when I was a baby?" she has herself as she finished fixing her daughter's diaper.

"Are you hungry honey?" Hayley cooed her daughter as she laughed. Hayley gets a baby bottle filled with formula. She gives it to Mary, but she starts crying.

(Crying)

"Oh no, come on honey! Please don't cry" Hayley begged as she puts the bottle to aside and pats her daughter's back.

Later, Jeff was playing his video games in their room.

(Crying)

"Hayley, Mary needs you" he said.

" _I'm taking a shower"_ Hayley said, off-screen.

"Fine" Jeff put down the control and walked to his daughter's crib.

(Sniff)

"My goodness, I thought cinnamon apple was your flavor" Jeff wondered as he picked up his daughter and changed her diaper.

Moments later, we see the rest of the Smith family trying to do activities but were stopped at the baby's crying.

Steve was building a house of card, but was knocked down. Stan was typing stuff on his computer, but he started typing nonsense. Francine was brushing her hair but it was pulled by her brush. Klaus was drinking wine but spilled it inside his bowl. Roger was putting on a costume, but…he took off his headphones.

(Crying)

"Is this going to go on all day?" the alien wondered as he puts his headphones back on.

The next day, the entire Smith family, minus Mary, who was taking her nap, had a family meeting.

"Hayley, do you and Jeff know anything about parenting?" Stan asked.

"Dad, we love our daughter. I know we're both young parents, but trust me, we will get better. Mary will grow up to be a successful woman one day. She's not even a month old" Hayley answered.

"Mr. S, I'm sure we were all like Mary when we were babies. We weren't perfectly born babies, you know. Was your childhood perfect?" Jeff asked.

"No, but let's be honest, I can't concentrate on my work for the CIA if that baby continues to cry nonstop" Stan added.

"Stan, just put on earplugs or something" Francine suggested.

"Francine, I still got one stuck inside my brain last time. I can't use those stupid things" Stan argued.

"Dad, we will get better. You know what's unfair? You guys are hating on us and we're doing the best we can for our daughter. We haven't slept in like forever. I'm sure you and mom were like that when Steve and I were born" Hayley rebutted.

"Look honey, we kind of cheated our parenting skills a bit" Francine responded.

 **Flashback**

Francine was holding baby Hayley as she was squirming and crying nonstop. Stan takes the cap off the baby bottle and placed it on a can of Mr. Pibb. Baby Hayley drank from it and stopped crying. Stan and Francine kissed afterwards.

 **Flashback Ends**

"So that's how you became a hippie?" Steve wondered.

"That's it. Hayley, I know what we need to do for Mary to be quiet. We'll feed her some soda" Jeff suggested.

"No Jeff, it will make her hyper. Babies aren't allowed to drink soda. Yes I drank soda very young, but things were different back then" Hayley argued.

"Only one way to find out" Jeff said.

Moments later, Jeff's green vest and white shirt was covered with brown vomit. Francine is giving her granddaughter a bath. He returns to the living room with his wife.

"I told you so!" Hayley taunted.

"Okay Mary doesn't like soda, that's cool. At least she'll be a healthy girl" Jeff added.

"Jeff, she's allergic to caffeine" Hayley rebutted.

"Oh great, I guess we're stuck here with a crying child for the rest of our lives" he sighed.

"We can't give up babe. We just need to be better parents, that's all" she added.

"We need help. That's what we really need" Jeff suggested.

However, Steve is overhearing their conversation.

Later, he goes to his room, calling his girlfriend Zoey on the phone.

"Hello, hi Zoey" Steve said as a side screen appears with Zoey talking on her cell phone while doing her nails.

"Hi Steve, how you been?" she asked.

"Zoey, Hayley and Jeff look exhausted for days and they need help taking care of their baby. I want to help but I don't know what to do" he said.

"Steve, I think I can help you with that. I watched babies before. I'm sure Mary won't be a challenge" Zoey added.

"You don't understand. That baby cries a lot! A lot! I can't do my homework nor play video games or anything. How do you stand crying babies?" Steve asked.

"Leave everything to me" Zoey added.

The next day, Hayley and Jeff were playing with Mary with a rattle. She takes it and shakes it.

(Baby laughing)

"(Sigh) it's really hard being parents, huh Jeff?" Hayley asked.

(Crying)

"Here we go again" Jeff added.

(Doorbell rings)

Hayley opens the door.

"Hi Zoey" she said.

"Hi Hayley, where's the baby?" Zoey asked.

"Over here" Jeff answered while holding his daughter.

"Hi beautiful, I'm your aunt Zoey, well technically not biologically, but you know what I mean" she cooed the baby as she holds her. She hums a sweet song to her. It calmed her down so quickly that she went to sleep.

"That's a cute baby" Zoey whispered.

"Wow Zoey, you're amazing" Hayley cheered quietly while hugging her.

"Do what I do and you guys will be fine" Zoey suggested with a smile.

(Sniff)

"Does she need a diaper change?" Zoey asked.

"I think I do" Jeff said as he walked up the stairs as the ladies gave a disgusted look.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

The next morning, Hayley prepared Mary's formula. However, the baby started crying. Using Zoey's suggestion, Hayley grabbed her daughter and cradled her while humming a sweet lullaby. It worked and Hayley proceed to feed her daughter. Later, Jeff is giving Mary a bath. She acts fuzzy as she kept splashing water everywhere.

"Oh God, how do I calm her down?" he wondered as he hummed some song and she calm down.

"Much better" Jeff told himself as he finished giving his baby her bath.

Later, Hayley and Jeff are playing peek-a-boo with the baby.

"You are so cute Mary! I want to have more kids like you!" Hayley cheered.

"Hayley, take it easy! Besides, it's hard enough one child is keeping us awake every night" Jeff disagreed.

"I think Zoey did an amazing job helping us. I think we should have an outing one day. We never had one since Mary was born" Hayley suggested.

"Great idea but who will watch our daughter?" Jeff wondered.

"Not us, we're on our way to our honeymoon" Stan said as he and Francine were carrying luggage.

"I'm coming too" Roger added as he is disguised in a brunette wig, sunglasses, and a blue dress.

"What about me?" Klaus follows as he was carrying a brown suitcase.

"Great, now what?" Hayley freaked out.

"I guess Steve can baby our child" Jeff suggested.

"Hmm, this gives me an idea" Hayley had a thought.

Moments later, the couple, while carrying baby Mary, visits Steve's room.

"Hey buddy" Hayley told her brother as he is playing video games on his laptop.

"Hi Hayley, what do you need?" he asked.

"Steve, I know you're busy but I want to go out with Jeff. We never had an outing ever since our baby was born. I'm begging that you can watch Mary for a while, please" Hayley pleaded.

"Hayley, you did not need to ask. I'm more than happy to do so" Steve agreed.

"Thanks little brother" Hayley hugs her brother.

"On one condition: I get Zoey to help me" Steve suggested.

"Sure why not?" Jeff agreed.

Later, Zoey visits the Smith household, ready to take care of baby Mary.

"We'll be back soon. Take good care of her" Hayley said as she and Jeff left on Jeff's van.

"Zoey, do you know how we're going to take good care of her?" Steve wondered.

"Steve, we got this. Besides, this will be our first attempt as parents, that is if we get married one day" Zoey said with a smile.

"Well okay, I hope we're not getting into too much trouble" Steve responded.

Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff are driving on the road.

"Jeff, where do you want to go?" Hayley asked.

"Babe, that's a good question. Do you want to go to a movie? Eat out? Do some bowling?" Jeff listed some options.

"I'm sure we'll figure something out" Hayley answered as she cuddled next to her husband.

Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey were playing peek-a-boo with Mary. She laughs every time the couple closes their eyes with their hands.

"Where's Mary? Where's Mary?" Zoey wondered playfully.

"Over here! No seriously, she's over here!" Steve shouted.

(Baby crying)

"Oh come on, does that baby not know when to not cry?" Steve asked.

"Steve, she's your niece. Come here sweetie!" Zoey picked up Mary and cradled her with the same lullaby. Unfortunately, it does not work, as the baby kept on crying.

"What?! Why is she still crying? My humming always worked!" Zoey panicked.

"I have no idea! Here, give me the baby!" Steve ordered as Zoey gave him his niece and he tried to comfort her, but nothing seems to work.

"Oh come on kid; don't make things so difficult!" Steve panicked. "Quick Zoey, take your top off!"

"Excuse me?!" Zoey shouted.

"Maybe Mary is hungry. You can try to breastfeed her or something" Steve explained.

"Steve, I'm not breastfeeding your niece. Only Hayley the mother should do that!" Zoey snapped.

"Well we need to get her something to eat then!" Steve panicked as they walked to the kitchen while he carries the baby, who is still crying. Zoey opens the fridge.

"Let's see here: milk, eggs, leftover cake…"

"Milk, that's it! Well, make that a maybe. Perhaps she wants formula instead" Steve explained.

"Where's is the formula?" Zoey asked.

"Upstairs" Steve answered as they went upstairs, but the door in Hayley's room is totally locked.

"Damn it, we're screwed!" he shouted.

"Steve, calm down. I'm sure we'll figure something out. Go with the milk" she suggested.

"Well okay, but not too hot and not too cold" Steve explained as they went back to the kitchen as Zoey takes out a sauce pan and puts some milk in it.

"It's okay, little baby. Your uncle Steve and aunt Zoey will help you out" Steve cooed the baby, but she is still crying.

" _Come on Zoey, she's giving me a_ headache!" Steve panicked in his mind.

Later, Hayley and Jeff stopped at a miniature golf. They were playing until Hayley got a hole in one.

"Nice one babe, shall we get the ball?" Jeff suggested.

"Okay" Hayley agreed as they went to find the ball, but they saw something inside. It says "HAYLEY + JEFF 4EVER".

"Babe, it's the time I carved that sign on our first date. Shall we go back in time?" Jeff asked seductively.

"I'm in!" Hayley answered as they went inside.

Unbeknown, Greg and Terry and Libby are about to golf at the same place that Hayley and Jeff recently played in.

"Come on Libby, you can do this" Greg cheered as Libby struck the ball into the hole.

(Screaming)

"Greg, what was that?" Terry wondered.

"I don't know. Libby, go check what's inside there" Greg suggested as the girl walked towards the silhouette and places her hand inside a hole. However, Jeff and Hayley are now fully naked as their clothes are scattered everywhere. Apparently, they were making out inside.

"Nice going Jeff" Hayley whispered angrily.

"Oh crap!" Jeff panicked.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Hayley and Jeff are hugging each other so tightly that they are covering each other's naked body.

"Jeff, why did you want to make out here?" she asked.

"Babe, you wanted to get frisky too! Now we're screwed and think of the press!" he panicked as they figured out a plan. However, a bunch of Langley Falls residents are outside of their area.

"What seems to be the issue?" Turlington the detective arrived.

"Sir, there's somebody inside there. You need to do something" Greg demanded.

"I'll get on it" Turlington complied as he stood out a gun inside.

"Oh no, we're screwed. On the count of three, one, two…" Jeff instructed as he and Hayley lifted the silhouette and it crashed on top of people and blocking the gun. Nobody was injured, but the couple's clothes are still lying on the grass. Principal Lewis appears.

"Oh right, naked people! This is awesome!" Lewis cheered as he waved Hayley's pink bra around. "I'll take these!" he picks up Hayley's matching bikini panties. "I'll add these to my collection" he picks up Jeff's tighty whities and as he sniffed them, he fainted. A dog sniffs Jeff's underwear, but his eyes got wide open and he ran away scarred for life.

Later, the couple tries to hide behind bushes and trees, but they found two statues. Hayley stands behind a bird statue, perfectly covering her chest and lower body. Jeff is covered by two loggers seesawing, but it is covering his lower area just fine. They smile at each other for a bit, but Jeff looks down.

"Babe, I don't trust these guys. Can we trade?" Jeff begged.

"We need to get out of here or else we'll be caught" Hayley said.

"You know, this is a perfect time to go boom chick-a boom-boom" Jeff talked in a sexy tone, but Hayley growls.

"Sorry" Jeff apologized.

Meanwhile, Zoey and Steve finished the milk for baby Mary. Zoey puts the milk in a bottle. Before giving Steve's niece some, she tries some by slightly dripping the milk content in her hand and takes a small lick.

"Perfect" she said as she gives her boyfriend the baby bottle and Steve proceeds to feed baby Mary the milk. She likes it and she stopped crying.

"Zoey, thank God for that. I don't know what to do if you didn't come over" Steve congratulated his girlfriend.

"It wasn't easy, but we didn't give up" she answered with a smile.

"Let's tell my niece a fun story" Steve suggested as they went to the living room. (A/E the story is created with crayon sketch drawings.) "Once upon a time, there was a knight and shining armor."

"He has a princess named Zoey" Zoey added to the story.

"They both fought a scary dragon named Bullock. He eats babies for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. One day, the mean dragon wants to eat baby Mary, but Steve and Zoey came to the rescue" Steve continues to narrate.

"The knight and princess killed the dragon with their superpowers and all the babies he ate were brought back to live" Zoey contributed.

"Then the two got married and they lived happily ever after. The end" Steve ends the story. (A/E the crayon story part is over as we see the original animation.)

Baby Mary is asleep.

"She is so cute" Zoey said with a smile.

"Yes she is" Steve agreed with a whisper.

"Steve, I was thinking. I hope one day we can be parents" Zoey suggested.

"I think we'll be the best parents ever!" Steve whispered excitedly. "Thank you!" he kissed his girlfriend's lips and they take turns holding the baby.

Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff continue to hide from society and they found a hot air balloon.

"Wait a minute; is that the same hot air balloon from _Zoey 105_?" Hayley asked while breaking the fourth wall.

"Let's go" Jeff suggested and they went inside and the balloon blasts off.

"Babe, what are we doing?" he wondered.

"Escaping the press" she explained.

"Yeah but how are we…" Jeff saw a bunch of clothes hanging.

"Clothes! We're saved Jeff!" Hayley cheered.

"Here's a miniskirt" Jeff tries to get the garment, but he falls off.

(A/E his lower body is censored.)

"JEFF!" Hayley panicked, but her husband is hanging on to a rope.

"I'm okay. I'm not going to die, but I can't hold on much longer. Whatever you do, do not touch the rope. It can break easily" Jeff explained, but he was suddenly hit by a glass wall of a building on his backside and gets dragged along the way.

Inside the building, there was a concert going on. It was the band/singer Hozier performing the hit song "Take Me to Church".

Hozier:

 _Take me to church_

 _I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies_

 _I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife_

 _Offer me that deathless death_

 _Good God, let me give you my life_

The audience screamed super loudly as they saw Jeff naked on the backside as he was getting dragged on the glass wall.

"Yeah, you guys are amazing! _Take me to church…"_ Hozier continues to sing.

Back outside, Jeff is starting to fall.

"Babe, I can't hold on much longer. Lower me down, now!" he demanded.

"Hold on babe, let's go there" Hayley suggested as she pulled the rope to go lower. However, they ended up falling at a soccer stadium. It was an international friendly between the United States and Brazil.

" _The United States is winning 1-0. If El Cheat-o misses this penalty, the Stars and Stripes will pull one of the biggest upsets in soccer history"_ the announcer said.

"Look up there!" someone shouted as the audience saw Hayley and Jeff going down on the stadium with shocked looks.

" _El Cheat-o converts the penalty and he misses! No, the ball…what the hell is this? A naked man at a soccer game?! Has the world gone insane?!"_ the commentator said as the ball ended up hitting Jeff's left buttock and El Cheat-o converts the equalizer.

" _No! That stupid man prevented the United from pulling off an upset_!" the commentator shouted.

(Audience booing)

Hayley and Jeff landed on the grass, safe and sound.

(Wolf whistling)

"Oh come on, we were born naked people!" Jeff shouted.

"I guess we'll pose then" Hayley suggested as they waved at the people embarrassed.

The next day, at the living room while Steve is holding baby Mary, he sees a newspaper with Hayley and Jeff on the cover with their private parts being censored with black bars.

"Holy shit this is awesome!" Steve picks up the paper, but Hayley quickly arrives and snatches it away.

"Steve, nothing happened. Jeff and I got a little frisky" Hayley explained.

"I was going to read the comics section to Mary" Steve said.

"Here" Hayley gives him the comics but rips the remainder of the newspaper.

(Credits roll)

"You know Hayley, Zoey and I want to be parents one day. We make a good couple, you know" Steve added.

"You guys did a good job. I'm very proud of you kiddo. Thank you" Hayley responded with a smile. "I'll just stay home with Mary until the media forgets about the incident"

"Babe, we're on a porn site! We're famous!" Jeff cheered as he entered the living room but Steve and Hayley glared at him.

"Oh, it's nothing to celebrate huh? We're screwed, aren't we?"

 **End of Act 3**


	2. Fashion Fever

**Disclaimer: I don't own _American Dad_ except for Zoey Wilson. I don't own Eddie Walker. He belongs to aldovas. No music is owned by me.**

 **Opening Scene**

Hayley and Francine are shopping inside a mall. There was a line to register for the Victoria's Secret Lingerie Fashion Show.

"Mom, what's going on there?" Hayley asked.

"I guess it's that year again, huh" Francine answered as they walk in.

"I'm in. Jeff will be so surprised" Hayley said.

"All right honey, but avoid the perverts out there" Francine said as we see Quagmire appear from out of nowhere.

I, pen123 stepped in and dragged him out of here.

"You're banned Quagmire!" I shouted.

"I hate you all!" Quagmire flipped at us and I kicked him far away.

"Who was that?" Francine asked.

 **End of Opening Scene**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the Smith household. Stan, Steve, and Klaus were in the kitchen eating breakfast. Jeff arrives while carrying baby Mary.

"Hey guys, it's Mary's breakfast too" he said as he gives his daughter baby formula in a baby bottle. The baby holds it with both her feet and drinks her breakfast as Jeff hold on to her.

"My granddaughter is so cute!" Stan cheered.

Two people enter.

"Guess who's entering the Victoria's Secret Lingerie Fashion show?" Hayley announced as she and Francine entered the kitchen.

"That's great Francine, I'm so proud of you" Stan responded.

"Dad, I'm entering the lingerie fashion show" Hayley rebutted.

"You will do no such thing. I did not raise a hussy in this household" Stan argued.

"Mr. S, please let Hayley enter. Plus, it could be my early birthday present seeing my wife in various lingerie" Jeff pleaded.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Stan asked.

"I want to dad, plus there's a surprise for the hottest model" Hayley explained.

"Oh all right, but only if this will make Jeff shut up about it" Stan surrendered.

"Thanks dad, plus I'll win this for Mary. Speaking of her, I need to give her a diaper change" Hayley said as she left upstairs while taking Mary away from Jeff.

"Dad, are you comfortable with this?" Steve asked.

"Son, in life sometimes you have to allow your eldest child to do whatever she wants" Stan explained.

"I hope nothing bad happens to her" Steve added.

"Guys, where's my food? I'm starving!" Roger exclaimed as he entered the kitchen.

"I have lots of cereal" Francine suggested.

"Oh great Franny; next thing you'll tell me is that there's no such thing as leprechauns" Roger added.

"That makes no sense at all Roger" Steve shook his head.

The next morning, Jeff wakes up from the bed he and his wife always sleep in. When he woke up, he saw Hayley in her underwear. She's wearing a black lacy bra and matching bikini lace panties with red hearts in the middle.

"Good morning darling" Hayley said in a seductive tone as she models in front of Jeff.

"Babe, what's all this?" Jeff asked while smiling.

"I'm practicing, babe" Hayley explained.

"I think you're going to be the hottest model at the fashion show" Jeff told her

"Want me to show you?" Hayley practices her modeling skills as she walks straight, turns around, and does a sexy pose, doing all of this with her hands on the hips.

"I think I died and gone to heaven!" Jeff cheered as he got up and made out with his wife.

"Hayley, my German chocolate order hasn't come in from the mail, so I was wondering if you can..." Klaus enters their room, but freezes at the moment where he sees Hayley in her underwear.

"Fish can't get boners, can they?" the goldfish asked as Hayley quickly puts on a robe.

Later, Stan enters the kitchen, only to see Roger cooking something.

"Roger, what are you doing?" Stan asked.

"Oh hey Stan, I was just creating am early dinner for the family, if I can" the alien explained.

"Roger, would you mind explaining why you have a huge barrel of tomato sauce, 10 tons of mozzarella cheese, and a million pounds of flour?" Stan wanted to know.

"All right Stan; if I tell you this, do you promise me that you will not let anyone know about this?" Roger proposed.

"Fine I promise, but tell me, are you making a pizza?" Stan wondered.

"Yes I am, are you happy now?" Roger answered.

"Yay, I love pizza! It's my all time favorite food! Can I help?" Stan offered.

"Awesome! You can be my guinea pig!" the alien suggested.

"(Sigh) this better be worth it" Stan said. "So what kind of pizza are we making, meat lover's, veggie, supreme, or what?"

"Hold your horses Stanford, you'll see it when we cook" Roger explained as he tossed thr dough up in the sky and it falls to the ground.

"It's still good" he said as Stan frowns at him.

A few hours later, Hayley is in line at Victoria's Secret, waiting to pick uo her registration information. There were a bunch of models, waiting to be entered as well.

"Okay this isn't going to be as easy as I thought it would be" Hayley told herself as she was next in line.

"Name?" a judge asked.

"Hayley Fischer" she responded.

"Here you go, Ms. 120 pounds" the judge said as Hayley got her number.

"Shut it!" she snapped as she went to the dressing room.

"Are you Hayley? My name is Todd Wallace. I'm the fashion consultant. Darling, you are going to do amazing!" a white guy with blonde hair, wearing a gay pride shirt and blue jeans and brown boots approached her.

"Thanks" Hayley responded.

Meanwhile, Steve, Francine (while holding baby Mary), Klaus, and Jeff entered.

"It's a shame your father and Roger couldn't join us. Roger said he's planning a special dinner for us and your father does not want to see Hayley modeling in lingerie" Francine told Steve.

"I'm sure Hayley will win. Unless Zoey is competing, in which she can't because she's 17, no one will beat my sister" Steve said with a smile.

However, Lisa Silver and her friends Amy and Janet have arrived.

"Oh crap!" Steve panicked.

"Steve what's wrong?" Jeff asked.

"Jeff, our mortal enemies are here" Steve explained.

"Oh shit, Hayley's screwed. Plus I'm the first person to say the s-word on a fan fiction uncensored!" Jeff exclaimed while breaking the fourth wall, but Steve frowns at him.

"I need to go. Hayley needs my help" Steve thought for a moment.

"Steve, Mary needs a diaper change again" Francine pleaded as she gives his son her granddaughter.

"Yes mom, I'll change her diaper and then save Hayley" Steve said as he left with his niece. "Why did you chocolate sauce your pants again when your mommy needs help?"

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Steve went back to sit down with his mom. Jeff is holding his daughter. More people are entering to watch the lingerie fashion show.

"I have to rescue Hayley fast!" Steve told himself.

"Mom I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back" Steve said as he left quickly, but in reality, he went to the dressing room.

"Sorry, only models that have registered are allowed to enter" the security guard warned him.

"My sister is in there. I need to talk to her" Steve explained.

"Make it quick" the guard lets Steve in.

"Hayley!" Steve sees his sister as she is only wearing a robe.

"Steve, what are you doing here? This is for models only. Get out of here!" she shouted.

"I will, but Lisa Silver, Amy, and Janet are here" he explained.

"Oh crap" Hayley responded.

"Sis, are you sure you want to do this?" Steve asked.

"Steve, I'll be fine. If don't mind, I'm up on stage soon" Hayley said as she left.

"I need help fast!" Steve panicked.

Later, Stan and Roger finished making their pizza.

"Roger, this is perfect! A sausage, pepperoni, and Nutella pizza; this is going to be amazing!" Stan cheered.

(A/E Nutella is a chocolate-tasting hazelnut spread.)

"Let's take a bite, shall we?" Roger suggested as they each take a slice of pizza and eats it.

"Not bad" Stan said.

"Yes, but it does not have some pizzazz into it. Let's make something else" Roger said as he takes the pizza and throws it into the garbage.

"Roger, I thought it was delicious" Stan said.

"Stan, I'm the expert. You don't decide what's perfectly good is" Roger snapped.

"Hurry up and make some more" Stan suggested.

Later, the lights at the fashion show went off, but turned back on with green light.

" _Welcome to the annual Langley Falls Victoria's Secret Lingerie fashion show! Please give a warm welcome to all the models for today's show!"_ the announcer said as all the models, including Hayley, Lisa, Amy, and Janet arrived. They were walking down the walkway in red lacy bras and matching boy shorts panties. They were modeling to the song "Turned Down for What?" by DJ Snake and Lil Jon.

"Yeah, this is awesome!" Jeff cheered and whistled while holding on to the baby, who has ear muffs.

"You go Hayley!" Francine cheered as well.

"Make us proud Hayley" Klaus joined in also.

"Steve, what's wrong?" Jeff asked.

"I know something bad will happen to Hayley. It's not that I don't trust her. Something is about to happen to her anytime soon" Steve explained. "I can't take this anymore. I need to go. I need my girlfriend badly" he stood up.

"Hey mom, dad texted me and said that he needs help with something for the CIA. I'll see you at home" Steve lied to his home.

"Be careful sweetie" Francine responded as Steve left the room.

Moments later, he arrived at Zoey's house. His girlfriend opened the door.

"Hi Steve, what's up boyfriend?" Zoey asked as he kissed her boyfriend.

"Hi Zoey, I need help. You see Hayley is at the lingerie fashion show for Victoria's Secret. I know something bad will happen to her. I don't know what to do" Steve explained.

"Well the only thing you can do is go incognito" Zoey suggested.

"Are you sure? But how?" Steve asked multiple questions.

"I hate to say this, but you really need to go back to your Stacey persona" Zoey answered.

"Are you sure?" Steve asked back.

"If you want Hayley to be okay, you'll have to disguise yourself as a hot girl again" she answered.

"Well okay, but I need a ride to the CIA and I can't ask dad because he's really busy" Steve said.

"We'll go really quickly. Mom, I'm going on a quick car ride. I'll be back" Zoey said to her mother.

" _Be careful, sweetie"_ her mom answered, off-screen.

Moments later, they returned with a bottle of sex-changing pills and at Zoey's room.

"Okay Steve, first take the pill and put this on" Zoey suggested as she gave him a red bra and matching panties.

"I can't wear lingerie. Last time I did, I puked nonstop" Steve added.

"Take this as well. It's a puke blocking pill" Zoey suggested as Steve left the room for a moment, and then he returned as Stacey.

"Girl, you're back!" Zoey cheered.

"I'm back, but what's the purpose of me wearing bra and panties?" Stacey wondered.

"Watch this" Zoey said as she…also took off her clothes, revealing her light blue bra and matching bikini panties.

"We're going to practice modeling" she said as she does some modeling moves in front of Stacey. However, s/he is bust looking at Zoey's body.

"If I was still a boy, I would have gotten a boner right about now" s/he told him/herself.

"You try now Stacey" Zoey suggested as she puts on a light pink robe. To much of a surprise, Stacey was walking like a perfect model.

"I think you're ready!" Zoey cheered.

Later, they arrived at the fashion show. Stacey only had a blue robe on with heels.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Stacey asked.

"Trust me on this" Zoey answered.

"Models only" the guard told them.

"It's okay, my friend Stacey wants to be in" Zoey responded.

"Okay, go on and make a move" the guard said as he lets him/her in. A bunch of girls are walking down to the stage, wearing white lacy bra and hi-cut panties.

"Let me watch them first and then I'll make a move"

Lisa, Amy, and Janet arrive.

"It's perfect. Once Hayley does her final pose, we'll dump pig's blood all over her body and it will be awesome!" Lisa suggested.

"Oh no, I knew it! Hayley is doomed unless I save her" Stacey said to him/herself.

"Steve, is that you?" out of nowhere, Eddie Walker appears. He was with his mom as he was helping her design various lingerie types.

"Oh crap!" Stacey panicked.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Later, the models are wearing green baby dolls with matching thongs. They're modeling to the song "Hung Up" by Madonna.

"Go Hayley, walk the aisle babe!" Jeff cheered.

Back at the dressing room, Eddie sees Stacey.

"Who's Steve? My name is Stacey" Stacey told him.

"Cut the act Steve, I know it's you. I disguise myself as a girl sometimes" Eddie said.

"Fine it's me, I took a pill to transform myself into a girl and I did this just so I can save Hayley or else bullies will hurt her or embarrass her" Steve explained.

"I understand. Steve or Stacey, listen, it's okay to be a girl sometimes. That does not make you a full time girl because you like to wear ladies' clothes. As long as you enjoy doing stuff as a boy, you'll be fine. You're a great guy and should be a guy when you're not a girl" Eddie explained.

"How do you know so much about this?" Stacey asked.

"I disguise myself as a girl named Emma. I've been through this before. It's called being a straight cross dresser. You can enjoy pretending to be a girl, but you can still enjoy being a boy when not being a girl. Do you understand?" Eddie asked.

"I guess so" Stacey answered.

"I'm glad you care about Hayley so much. Just be careful and remember what I said. I have to go and help my mom out. Have fun" Eddie left.

Hayley arrives with a robe.

"Stacey, what are you doing here?" she asked him/her.

"Hayley, I want to help you. The mean girls are attempting to cover you with pig's blood. You have to get out of here" Stacey explained.

"Stacey, this is a girl's only fashion show, not for guys disguised as girls" Hayley said.

"Please Hayley, I really want to help. I need to go put on lingerie. I'll be back" Stacey left the scene sadly.

(Music plays)

Hayley:

 _I thought I was open-minded_

 _Acceptance was my creed_

 _But now I find that I've been a fool, indeed_

 _Steve:_

 _I thought I was always a boy_

 _Hayley:_

 _I forgot that inside we're identical_

 _Even if we have different genitals_

 _I thought I was open-minded_

 _Acceptance was my creed_

 _But I've been blinded_

 _I hope I don't bleed_

 _Steve:_

 _I thought I was always a boy_

 _Together:_

 _I'm having a crisis again._

 _Steve:_

 _'Bout what's between my thigh-ses_

 _I have to understand me_

 _So I can know when to sit or stand when I pee_

 _Emma_ (Eddie Walker in disguise, wearing a purple dress, matching flats, and a brunette wig) _:_

 _I'm Emma_

 _Steve:_

 _Who am I between my legs?_

 _My sacks filled with sperm, but is my heart filled with eggs_

 _Hayley:_

 _I never knew what I didn't know_

 _Is it a bulge down there or is it camel-toe_

 _Steve:_

 _I thought I was always a boy_

 _Hayley:_

 _I thought I was always open-minded_

 _Emma: And I'm Emma!_

Moments later, the kitchen is a huge mess. There was food all over the place.

"Roger, I think we should just quit and order a pizza instead" Stan suggested.

"Stan, we're not giving up. I want the perfect pizza and I'm making the perfect pizza" Roger answered.

"We tried every combination there is and nothing seems to work" Stan added.

"You know what? I quit! If you want to make the perfect pizza, you'll do it on your own!" Roger angrily gives Stan the chef's hat.

"Watch this" he said as he…made a stuffed crust pizza with pepperoni, sausage, and spinach. He takes a slice and eats it.

"Mmm, this is so good! Roger, you have to taste it" Stan suggested.

"No way Stan, there's no way…" Roger was cut off after taking a bite off the slice. "Now this is good! Hooray, we made the perfect pizza!"

"I call it 'Too Good to Be True'!" Stan announced.

"Perfect!" Roger cheered.

Back at the fashion show, various models wore black bras and matching bikini panties, then purple bras and matching cotton panties and also yellow bras and matching French cut panties. It was the final event for the fashion show. Each model is posing one by one in front of the audience.

Inside the dressing room, Hayley finds Stacey.

"Stacey, I just want to say I'm sorry for what I said. I know you're standing up for me and I really appreciate it. I need you to protect me" Hayley told him/her.

"I'm always there for you" Stacey smiled back.

"See you out there buddy" Hayley left while wearing a black one-piece lacy lingerie.

Lisa, Amy, and Janet are looking at Hayley down.

"Here we go, the moment is here" Lisa said

Hayley is modeling in front of the audience as lights of photography were flashing. The audience is cheering at her loudly.

" _I think we have a winner!"_ the announcer said.

"Now!" Lisa said as she started to dump pig's blood. This scene is moved in slow motion.

"Hayley, no!" Stacey ran and pulled back his/her sister quickly. The blood is pouring all over the stage.

(Audience screaming)

"What's going on?" Todd appears, but the buckets hits his head, knocking him out.

The audience was so frightened that they ran away, screaming like chickens.

"My baby!" Francine shouted.

"Mrs. S, Hayley's okay" Jeff told her.

Inside, guards surrounded Lisa, Amy, and Janet. They arrested the girls for the gruel-some prank.

"Stacey, you saved me. Thank you!" Hayley hugs her brother/sister.

"Of course I saved you. You're my sister" Stacey answered.

"Take care guys" Eddie waved them goodbye as he left with his mom.

"What a nice guy Eddie is, huh?" Stacey asked.

Moments later, Steve is back to being Steve again. The whole Smith family is sitting on the kitchen, eating pizza.

"Cheers to my favorite lingerie model" Jeff made a toast and everyone resumed eating.

(Credits roll)

"Great job on this pizza, dad. Where did you get the ingredients?" Hayley asked.

"It came from my mind, Hayley" Stan answered.

"Yeah well I had this from Pizza Hut a couple of weeks ago" Steve said.

Stan and Roger looked with blank stares.

"We're getting sued, aren't we?" Roger asked.

 **End of Act 3**


	3. Make Love, Not Star Wars

**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **American Dad, Star Wars,**_ **or any of the Walker characters. They are owned by Seth MacFarlane, George Lucas, and aldovas, respectively.**

 **Opening Scene**

The scene opens as a parody of the beginning of a Star Wars movie. The title reads "American Dad: Pen123 Edition" written in Star Wars writing. The theme song is also played. The scene shifts to a planet and an astronaut's foot stepped on the moon. Suddenly, he…starts dancing to "Spaceman" by the Killers.

" _You know what? I can't do this. Let's go on with the show"_ I announced.

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene starts off inside a cutaway of a video game.

 **Cutaway**

The scene begins inside a Star Wars video game. We see droids, lasers, wookies, and starships everywhere.

" _Guardian Smith, do you read me?"_ a voice asked as his character looks like Luke Skywalker attacking giant worms.

" _I got your back Jedi Fischer"_ a character that looked like Hans Solo responded as he attacked a flying green dragon.

" _Oh no; it's those invincible worms! Quick Guardian, hide me!"_ Skywalker shouted as the worm popped out of nowhere and attacked him. Luckily, a female character that looks like Princess Leia occurred.

" _Hello, this is Princess Wilson, at your service"_ the girl voiced.

" _Thanks Zoey!"_ Skywalker exclaimed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

The scene shifts to Steve's room, where we see Steve, Jeff, and Zoey playing the Star Wars video game online.

"Steve, why did you mention my name online? People will think we're dorks!" Zoey complained.

"Oh relax Zoey, there's a bunch of Zoey Wilsons around. You know you're not the only one with that name, you know" Steve responded.

"Steve, this game is awesome! How did you find out about this?" Jeff wondered.

"I got nerdy friends Jeffrey" Steve answered.

 **Flashback**

Steve, Barry, Toshi, and Snot were sitting at the school cafeteria table.

"Hey guys, there's this awesome Star Wars video game, where you can select and create a character and enter this tournament to be the best Star Wars player ever!" Snot announced.

"How did you find this out Snot?" Steve wondered.

"It's simple Steve; my mom was using her computer and someone at her job recommended this game. I'd figure we all like it" Snot explained.

"It's like World of War craft, but ten times better!" Barry cheered.

"私が何かを言ってみましょう。簡単にボールをバストすることができます良いことのあまり！ (Let me say something; too much of a good thing can bust your balls easily!)" Toshi said.

"Uh, that's right Toshi; Star Wars is awesome!" Snot exclaimed.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Steve, are you busy son?" Stan arrived in Steve's room. "Hi everyone; why are you guys online?"

"Dad, we're playing this awesome Star Wars game and we're barely on level one. What do you need?" Steve asked.

"Never mind son; I was gonna ask if you wanted to give Roger a Texas wedgie, but I see that you guys are busy so never mind" Stan leaves.

"That was weird" Zoey said.

"Shall we?" Jeff asked.

"What an r-tard, huh?" Steve chuckled.

Stan overhears what his son said. "I'm not an r-tard" he told himself sadly.

Meanwhile, Steve, Jeff, and Zoey are playing the game.

"Okay, this was practice, you guys! I didn't want to say this, but I think we're ready" Steve announced.

"Ready, for what?" Zoey questioned.

"We will enter in the Star Wars Best Jedi Tournament. This tournament will determine who is the best Jedi in the history of Star Wars. What do you say, you guys?" Steve asked.

"Steve, that's cool and all, but are we really that ready? We barely got this game and you want us to enter the tournament? I'm in!" Jeff cheered.

"Me too" Zoey added.

"All right; we will create characters and then we will be ready" Steve suggested.

 **Cutaway**

Moments later, the scene shifts to the video game animation. The three created new characters for the tournament. Steve's character is Stevanita Skywalker. His character has Luke Skywalker's white suit. His weapon is a blue light saber shaped like a gun from Star Wars Rebels. Zoey's character is Princess Wilson Zo. Her outfit is the slave bikini that Princess Leia wore in Return of the Jedi. Her weapon is a sporting blaster. Jeff's character is….JFKO. He looks just like C-3PO, but his body is green. Plus, he has no weapon.

" _Are we ready team?_ " Steve announced.

" _Yes!_ " the rest of the team cheered as the approached the Petranaki Arena.

" _Hey look; some of our friends are here_ " Jeff said as we see Barry (his character looks like Chewbacca, with the weapon being a bow caster), Snot (his character is similar to Hans Solo, with his weapon being a DL-44 heavy blaster pistol), and Toshi (his character looks like Darth Maul, but the red and black colors are switched and his weapon is a red double-bladed light saber).

" _Let's win this!_ " Zoey cheered.

" _Who are you_?" Steve asked as a character that looks just like Luke Skywalker, but in a black outfit, with a red light saber from Star Wars Episode VII, approached.

" _My name is Eddagorn Skywalker. I am the greatest Jedi Master ever! I entered this tournament for a long time. I will be the first Jedi to accomplish a three-peat and retain the title of the best Jedi ever! No one can stop me! I am the real Skywalker! (Laughs evilly)_ " the Jedi character laughed as he left the scene. (A/E His voice is played by Mark Hamill.)

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Grr, this son of a bitch is killing me! We haven't even fought and this guy is going to kick our asses. He is going down! I don't know who you are, but I'm going to find you and I'm definitely going to kill you!" Steve shouted.

"Steve we can't. You heard what this guy said. Besides, you just quoted Taken" Jeff said.

"It's just a game Steve" Zoey added.

"Well then we have a lot of work to do, so here we go" Steve responded as he cracked his fingers and began to type.

The scene shifts to the game in someone's laptop. We see a pair of hands typing on a keyboard.

" _Big brother,_ _want to watch some cartoons?"_ a girl's voice asked.

"Not now, I'm busy" the same voice responded. "I don't think this kid likes me. Oh well, I don't care. I'm here to stay and I'm here to win!"

" _Son, mail_ " an adult man said, off-screen.

"Shh!" the boy's voice shushed the guy.

" _Sorry"_ the man apologized.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

A character that looks like Palpatine approached in front of many Star Wars characters.

" _Welcome my loyal Jedis. As you can see, this field will determine who the better Jedi is ever. We have our defending champion: Eddagorn Skywalker with us. Let there be war and violence. With that being said, I assigned all of you a number. That number will determine who will fight who. Good luck and may the force be with you. (Laughs)_ " the Palpatine lookalike announced as he left. (A/E His voice sounds just like Ian McDiarmid.)

" _Team, are we ready?_ " Steve asked.

" _Yes!_ " everyone cheered.

" _First up: Stevanita Skywalker versus Darth Kenneth"_ Palpatine announced.

" _I wonder who that guy is_ " Steve asked as his character faced off a character that looks like Darth Vader, but he is orange instead of black.

" _Begin!"_ Palpatine announced as the two face off. Darth Kenneth has a purple light saber. The two used their weapons and attacked each other with them.

" _I'm the next best Jedi. There's no way I'm losing to this Darth Vader lookalike. For the record, you are not my father!_ " Steve taunted as he releases a saber attack and it instantly kills Darth Kenneth.

" _Oh my God, you killed Kenny!"_ Jeff shouted.

" _You bastard!_ " Zoey added but chuckled.

" _Stevanita Skywalker is the winner!"_ Palpatine announced. _"Next up: Princess Wilson Zo_ _versus…Eddagorn Skywalker!_ "

" _What?!"_ Zoey shouted.

" _Zoey, are you sure you can do this?_ " Steve asked his girlfriend.

" _(Sigh) I guess I have no other choice. Besides, in order to be the best, you have to beat the best. That's exactly what I'm going to do to him_ " Zoey responded.

" _Good luck_ " Jeff cheered as Princess Wilson Zo and Eddagorn Skywalker approached each other and fought.

" _Watch this little boy_ " Zoey taunted as she does a spinning attack, but Eddagorn blocks her move with his red light saber.

" _Damn, this guy is smart_. _Okay, how about this?_ " Zoey now used her weapon to shoot at him, but the red light saber is preventing any damage on him.

" _Nice try little girl_ " Eddagorn Skywalker taunted as he slashed Princess Wilson Zo with his weapon.

" _You won't get away with it!"_ Zoey shouted as she runs away with her spinning attack and avoids Eddagorn.

" _I should be safe here_ " she told her as she is on top of a mountain. Unbeknown to her, a red saber attack came out of nowhere, thus knocking her out of the match.

" _Anything you like to say, little girl_?" Eddagorn asked as Princess Wilson Zo is defeated.

" _You're a phony"_ she responded in a weak tone.

" _Eddagorn Skywalker is the winner!"_ Palpatine announced.

" _Oh that's just great. I'm sure that this is not the original Luke Skywalker. He has to be a fake. I just knew it"_ Steve told himself.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"That's enough video games for today. I need to go home. I'll see you tomorrow you guys" Zoey announced as she turned off her laptop, got her stuff, and left Steve's room.

"Bye Zoey" Steve waved as his girlfriend.

 **Cutaway**

Moments later, we see various Star Wars fights going on. Only Steve's, Jeff's, and Snot's characters have advanced to the next round of the tournament.

" _Eddagorn Skywalker versus JFKO"_ Palpatine announced.

" _I'm going to avenge your girlfriend"_ Jeff explained as he approached towards Eddagorn.

" _(Laughs) you don't have any weapons. How do you expect to defeat me?_ " Eddagorn taunted.

" _Good question"_ Jeff answered. " _Hey look, the droids are undressing and having a pillow fight!_ "

" _Where?_ " Eddagorn asked excitedly and JFKO launches a sneak attack. However, Eddagorn used his red light saber just in time and attacked JFKO.

" _Nice try, little robot. That is the oldest trick in the book"_ Eddagorn laughed.

" _Oh yeah well yo mama is so fat, Jabba the Hut said DAMN!"_ Jeff taunted.

" _This is a battle fight, not a yo mama fight. Yo mama is so dumb, you lost!"_ Eddagorn shouted as he used his light saber attack and knocked JFKO out of the tournament.

" _Once again, the champion is the winner!"_ Palpatine announced.

" _Steve or whoever, go kick his ass!"_ Jeff demanded.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Damn, this guy can't be serious! First he got rid of my girlfriend and now he got rid of my brother-in-low; this cannot go on! Somebody must beat Eddagorn Skywalker!" Steve shouted.

"Steve, it's cool. The better man won and there's not much we can do" Jeff explained.

"But someone needs to beat him" Steve answered back.

"Well, you just have to wait and see if you are able to take on Eddagorn" Jeff said.

"All right, enough whining around; I have a tournament to win and a champion to dethrone" Steve added as he cracked his knuckles.

 **Cutaway**

" _Well ladies and gentlemen; this has been one exciting tournament. Since you guys are fighting so hard to be the best Jedi, I would like to say that it's time for a break. Everyone come back in one hour. We will begin the semifinals soon"_ Palpatine announced as he vanished.

" _Perfect"_ Steve said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Okay, I need to watch some clips of Star Wars for the next hour and see what I can do in order to face Eddagorn, if I can face him, that is" Steve explained.

"Whatever you do, be careful dude" Jeff said.

"I'm not going to be hurt or what not. I am a bigger Star Wars fan than this Eddagorn jerk guy is. Trust me, he has a weakness. Superman has Kryptonite, Vampires have garlic; I'm pretty sure Eddagorn has one" Steve explained.

"Okay dude, but as much as I want to stay, I'm going to help Hayley out. Take it easy dude" Jeff left his room.

"Take care Jeff" Steve responded as he was left alone in his room. "Okay Steven Anita, it's all up to you."

 **Cutaway**

The tournament moves on after the break, with Eddagorn defeating Toshi's character in a hard fought battle.

" _Steve, win this for the both of us! I know you can do it! I believe in you!"_ his character's eyes closed.

 **Cutaway Ends**

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Steve is walking back and forth in his room.

"It's really all up to me now. It's me against the champion. I can't let me friends down. I just can't" he told himself.

Hayley approached to her brother's room while holding baby Mary, who is sleeping.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Hayley, there is this character named Eddagorn Skywalker and he is impossible to beat. I'm supposed to challenge him in the final showdown. He got Jeff, Snot, and Zoey eliminated all in the same day. I want to prove this guy that I'm the better Jedi than he is. I really don't think that is really Luke Skywalker. Something is up. I don't care, as long as I beat this guy!" Steve explained.

"Steve, it's just a game. However, because you're so interested, maybe I can help you. I know Stars Wars every now and then" Hayley said.

"You really will help me?" Steve asked.

"If I do, will you change Mary's diapers for the entire rest of the week?" Hayley suggested.

"You have a deal!" Steve exclaimed.

Later, Steve is in a classroom with Hayley being his teacher. She teaches him the characters, the weapons, the settings, and everything about Star Wars. Steve takes notes and does a mock Star Wars battle with his sister. All this was done to the song "Word Up" by Cameo.

Moments later, Steve logs into his computer.

 **Cutaway**

" _The final battle is here! We have Eddagorn Skywalker versus Stevanita Skywalker. This is a battle of not only the better Skywalker, but also the better Jedi!"_ Palpatine announced.

(Cheering)

" _Go Steve!"_ Jeff's characters, along with the rest of the eliminated characters arrived, cheering for Steve.

" _I can't believe you guys are here! This is awesome!"_ Steve cheered.

" _You're going down Skywalker"_ Eddagorn shouted.

" _No, you are"_ Stevanita talked back as the two took out their light sabers and attacked nonstop.

" _Boy, this is going to be an interesting match huh_?" Palpatine commentated as the two Skywalkers are going back and forth at each other.

" _Face it; I'm better at Star Wars than you ever will be"_ Eddagorn said.

" _Oh yeah, did you see the Star Wars Christmas Special?_ " Stevanita asked.

" _Yeah but is it important?_ " Eddagorn asked back.

" _How about episode 1: the Phantom of the Menace? Or episode 2: Attack of the Clones, which nobody liked?"_ Stevanita asked.

" _What about them?_ " Eddagorn questioned.

" _Face it, the first two are better!_ " Stevanita exclaimed.

" _The newest one will be even better!_ Eddagorn shouted back.

" _I never thought I have to come to this but_ _bring in the worms"_ Stevanita announced as a bunch of invisible worms arrived.

" _Is this supposed to scare me?_ " Eddagorn asked.

" _Watch and see"_ Stevanita said as the worm popped up and attacked Eddagorn with their beam attack.

" _Oww! Oww! That's not fair! Oh yeah!_ " Eddagorn suddenly turns invisible and the worm attacks do nothing to him anymore.

" _Damn it!"_ Stevanita cursed, but suddenly smiled for a bit.

" _What the hell are you smiling at son?"_ Eddagorn asked.

" _Oh I think you are the best Jedi there is. Maybe you're the bigger expert than I am. You know, I'm more of a Star Trek guy than Star Wars. Maybe I should just quit while I'm ahead. I guess you can claim your three-peat as the best Jedi in this tournament. Congratulations! Before you pick up your crown, you may want to check the energy source of your red light saber_ " Stevanita explained.

" _So…no! I have no power! You tricked me, you bastard!_ " Eddagorn shouted as his weapon went out of power.

" _Now, for my final attack!"_ Steve launches a powerful light saber attack to Eddagorn. This is done to the theme song of Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers.

" _Wrong song choice, pen!"_ Stevanita shouted as he broke the forth wall, but nevertheless, he attacked Eddagorn and defeated him once and for all!

" _We did it! We won! We're free_!" Steve cheered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

The mysterious hands revealed to be…Eddie Walker from _Family Guy: OC Universe_.

"How did this guy beat me? He better not be those noobs who spent all day online. I only play two hours a day! Oh well, that's it for computer games for today. I'm sure I'll beat this guy one day. Amy, do you want to play soccer?" Eddie asked his sister.

 **Cutaway**

Everyone is surrounding Stevanita Skywalker.

" _You did it boyfriend!"_ Princess Wilson Zo cheered as she kissed him on the cheek.

" _Thanks everyone for believing me_ " Stevanita cheered as he approached towards Eddagorn. The two shook hands in signs of respect and Eddagorn leaves.

" _Congratulations to Stevanita on being the best Jedi there is!"_ Palpatine announced.

(Cheering)

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Another one bites the dust, huh guys?" Steve asked as he turned off his computer.

"At least you did not get fat, so thank you for that" Zoey said.

"You did well, my fellow Jedi" Hayley said.

"Thanks Hayley, I should have used the force, but maybe next time" Steve responded.

"What are you going to do now Steve?" Zoey asked.

"Play the game" Steve answered.

"What do you mean play the game?" Hayley asked.

"You know, play like a normal space opera game before the tournament started" Steve explained.

(Phone rings)

(Credits roll)

"Hello? Hi Eddie" Steve answered his phone call.

"Steve, do you like Star Wars?" Eddie asked.

"Yes I do! How about you?" Steve asked.

"It's amazing! Have you played Star Wars: The Road to Jedi Master? It's awesome. You should try it out! My character Eddagorn Skywalker got my butt kicked by this stupid character named Stephen Anita Skywalker the 2nd. Want to team up together to beat this guy?" Eddie asked.

"I never played it, but sure why not?" Steve agreed. "Give me a sec" he hangs up the phone for a bit.

"Oh shit! I need to start all over again or else Eddie will hate me!" Steve panicked. "I know.

 **Cutaway**

Eddagorn Skywalker is teamed up with a new character that Steve made.

" _Call me Steve Solo_ " Steve said.

 **Cutaway Ends**

 **Ends of Act 3**


	4. Super Size Steve

**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **American Dad**_ **or** _ **Super Size Me**_ **. They are owned by Seth MacFarlane and Morgan Spurlock, respectively. I do not own characters from a certain show made by the creator of** _ **King of the Hill**_ **.**

 **Opening Act**

The scene shifts to a classroom at Pearl Bailey high. Steve's class is watching _Super Size Me_.

 **Cutaway**

"Can I get the uh Double Quarter Pounder with cheese meal?" Morgan Spurlock asked while driving on his car as he goes through a drive-thru.

" _Large or Super Size_?" the cashier asked.

"I think I'm going to have to go with the Super Size" Spurlock answered.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"What a fatass!" Snot taunted.

(Shushing)

"Snot please" Zoey angrily said.

" _I like this man already. I think I have an idea_ " Steve thought to himself.

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene shifts to the cafeteria. Steve and Zoey are sitting next to Barry, Toshi, and Snot.

"I really thought that was an awesome movie in health class today" Zoey said.

"Are you a huge fan of documentaries?" Steve asked.

"Absolutely; in fact I think I want to be a documentary movie director when I grow up" Zoey responded.

"You ever saw _March of the Penguins?_ " Snot asked.

"(Crying) yes I did! Those poor wittle penguins! They were so young and innocent!" Zoey whined.

"Zoey relax, they're fine" Steve comforted her. "Enough about that, how the hell did Morgan Spurlock ate all that food from McDonald's? Wouldn't all that food kill him?"

"He must be Superman but with a stomach made of iron!" Barry answered.

"I wish" Snot rebutted.

"I was thinking imagine if I ate nothing but fast food for a very long time" Steve suggested.

"(Laughs) you wouldn't even last a second eating a burger" Snot joked.

"Steve I love you, but eating nothing but fast food is dangerous. Fast food is a sometimes food" Zoey said.

"Zoey, are you actually agreeing with Snot?" Steve asked.

"Steve, the food from fast food isn't even that healthy to begin with" Zoey answered.

"Steve, listen to your gal pal. There is no way you can eat nothing but fast food for a very long time" Snot said.

"Okay you know what Snot? Why don't we make things a little interesting?" Steve suggested.

"I'm listening" Snot answered.

"If I can survive eating fast food for thirty days, you have to pay us for me and Zoey when we go out on a date" Steve suggested.

"Oh you are so on Steven; there is no way you're going to win this bet! Let's shake on it!" Snot agreed as he and Steve shook hands. Zoey shook her head in disapproval.

Later, Steve is getting his books from his locker and putting them in his backpack. Zoey approaches him.

"Hi Steve, are you busy right now?" she asked.

"No what's wrong?" he asked.

"Steve, are you sure you want to do this? Fast food may be delicious, but look at how many calories it has" Zoey said.

"There's some food that isn't too bad" Steve added.

"Let me show you something" Zoey said as they went inside a computer lab and opens an internet page. "This is a stick of butter. This is a hamburger. One hamburger is made by 4 to 5 sticks of butter."

"How do you know all of this?" Steve asked.

"Why do you think they call it fast food?" Zoey asked back.

"Oh wow, now I understand" Steve answered.

"Steve, if you still want to beat Snot and win the bet, I highly suggest you see a doctor. Pretty much, get many checkups before you decide if you're okay with it or not. However, if you are going to do this challenge, can we eat at least one healthy vegan meal?" Zoey suggested.

"Of course; anything for my beautiful princess" Steve agreed as the two shared a kiss on the lips.

"I love you Steve and I hope that you will be all right" Zoey said.

"I'll be a little tubby, that's all" Steve comforted her.

Moments later, Steve is walking around in his room, thinking about the challenge.

"Should I tell the whole family about this? It's only food. It's not like I'm eating poison or anything" he told himself.

Roger walks in.

"Do you have poison? If so, I want to give Stan some for beating me in video golf yesterday" the alien said.

"Roger no, that's awful. Second of all, what do you want?" Steve asked.

"I heard you want to eat certain food" Roger answered.

"Roger, I am not going to tell you anything. You're terrible at keeping your mouth shut" Steve snapped.

 **Flashback**

Steve and Roger were walking to a party.

"Hey guys sorry we're late. Steve crapped his underwear, but we're good now!" the alien exclaimed as everyone laughed at Steve, who covered his face with his hands.

 **Flashback Ends**

"They needed a valid excuse" the alien rebutted. "Okay I'm sorry about that. Tell you what, tell me what's going on and I promise not to tell anyone. Kick me in the groin if you don't believe me!"

"Okay" Steve complied as he kicked the alien.

"Oww, not that hard!" Roger winced in pain. "Okay now what is it?"

"I challenged Snot that I would eat nothing but fast food for thirty days and if I win, he'll pay for my date with Zoey" Steve explained.

"Are you trying to be the next Morgan Spurlock? Isn't that already done?" the alien asked.

"Yes and no, but let me explain. Yes I'm eating fast food and no it's not only McDonald's that I will be eating" Steve explained more in detailed.

"I'm sure you'll win. Are you going to tell your folks about this?" Roger asked.

"I can't. They won't like it but it's Snot who will pay for my date with Zoey. What am I going to do?" Steve wondered.

"Watch this" Roger said as the scene shifts to a letter saying "Dear family, I am on a far away trip. I don't know when I will be back. I won't be gone for long. Don't cry for me. I'm already gone-Roger Smith"

Later, Steve and Roger are at the attic, with Roger wearing Steve's identical clothes.

"Roger, what's this?" Steve asked.

"It's simple. Do your challenge and come home really fast without being noticed. I'll pretend to be like for thirty days and everything will be fine" Roger explained.

"Excellent! Nobody will know the difference" Steve said.

"If your clothes don't fit anymore, you can borrow my costumes" Roger said as he opened a closet filled with his costumes.

"Sweet!" Steve exclaimed.

The next day, Steve walks around for a restaurant.

"Where should I eat? Oops, I need to do some stuff first" Steve said as we see him getting a checkup from many doctors. His weight, blood pressure, and health are perfectly normal. He is fit and active. The doctors approved of his challenge. Later, he and Zoey eat vegan food.

"Enjoy your last healthy dish" Zoey said as the two share a meal.

"Tomorrow is a new day" Steve said.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

The screen reads **Day 1.**

Steve walks around for a restaurant to eat. He finally sees something that he will begin his challenge.

"Hot dog, or should I say ta-co!" he spots a Taco Belle restaurant. He goes inside, takes a seat inside, and looks at the menu.

"As much as I want a Princess Belle dress, money is tight. Maybe some other time, but right now I have food to eat" he told himself as he looks at the different food products.

"I think for my first meal I'll have two steak tacos with cilantro only and a steak torta with lettuce, beans, and cheese please' Steve requested. Moments later, he consumes his food. For some odd reason, he turns to the audience.

"Hello ladies and gentlemen, this is day one of my challenge. There are rules for this. One: I must have three squares a day (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Two: I can only spent $10 on a meal. Three: I can only consume food sold by a fast food restaurant, including water. Three: For every other third day, I will eat at a different restaurant other than Taco Belle. Four: if I throw up, I have to eat it back up. No exceptions!" he finished talking as he left.

Moments later, he pulls Zoey to aside as she is walking to school.

"Steve, what's going on?" Zoey asked.

"It's working, babe; my challenge have gone well so far. I'll be in school a bit late as I'm going to go buy lunch" Steve explained as he left.

A few hours later, it was lunchtime. Steve sat next to Zoey with a bag from Taco Belle he ordered to go.

"What did you bought?" Zoey asked as she took out her lunch, which was a ham and cheese sandwich with carrot sticks as a side and a water bottle.

"Six steak and cheese quesadillas" Steve answered. "Plus a medium Horchata."

"Wow Steve, it looks like you aren't kidding around eating this stuff. I think i might have underestimated you" Snot said.

"Shut up and eat" Steve responded as he ate his lunch.

A few hours later, Steve tried to go home, but he ran quickly to the backyard and he sees Roger disguised as him.

"Now" he whispered as Roger walks in.

"Hey everyone it's me Steve. I'm home after (bleep)ing Zoey all day and grabbing her boobies for two straight hours during biology. What's for dinner?" Roger asked as Stan, Francine, Hayley (while holding a sleeping baby Mary), Klaus, and Jeff looked at him with blank looks. They were sitting on the living room couch watching TV before the alien walked in.

"Settle down Steve" Stan said.

"Scr-great dad. I'm going upstairs to do my homework, which is literally doing my homework" Roger added.

"Is Steve okay? Did he get laid already?" Jeff wondered.

"He better not!" Hayley snapped.

Later that evening, Steve is eating a steak burrito at Taco Belle.

"This is so good. I could eat everything here all day for the rest of my life. I think I'm capable of beating Snot in this bet" he told himself as he finished his last meal for day 1.

 **Day 2**

Steve ordered eggs with chorizo for breakfast at Taco Belle and finished it with a cup of café con leche (known as coffee with milk).

"See you at lunch or in this case I'll have a steak Tampiqueña to go" Steve requested.

(A/E Tampiqueña is a dish consisting of steak, enchiladas, rice, vegetables, and beans.)

A few hours later, while Roger continues to act like Steve back at home, the real Steve is at Taco Belle, eating nachos and a shrimp cocktail.

"See you in two days" he said after he paid his bill and left.

 **Day 3**

Steve enters...McDonald's. He goes inside and orders a Sausage Egg McMuffin with hash browns and a cup of orange juice.

"I can't wait for lunch and dinner!" Steve exclaimed.

We see a montage of him eating various foods, such as a Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese, fries, Big Mac, hot fudge sundae, and drinking a lot of soda. We see him eating more Mexican food at Taco Belle on days four and five and eating places such as Pizza Hut, Burger King, and Chipotle. This was done to the song "Yummy Yummy Yummy" by the Ohio Express.

 **Day 10**

The next morning, Steve wakes up from his temporary new bed, which is his tree house. He looks at a mirror.

(Screaming)

"What have I done?!" he shouted. He goes inside the house to wake Roger, who is sleeping in his original room.

"Roger, wake up!" Steve shouted.

"Steve, where's the fire?" the alien asked.

"I gained a lot of weight! I weigh ten pounds more than my sister! What am I going to do?" Steve asked.

"First of all, calm down. Second of all, nothing. You're not even that popular to begin with. I'm sure nobody will recognize you" Roger suggested.

"Roger, Zoey will think I'm a freak! I gained so much weight!" Steve shouted.

"Okay Steve just calm down. I'm sure Morgan Spurlock did the same thing. Just continue with the challenge and I'm sure nobody will remember anything" the alien suggested.

Meanwhile, the factories that produce the fast food items are gathered with a bunch of people for a meeting.

"Guys, some kid is eating all our food! Yes it's good for our business, but the food is for everyone! Why don't we contaminate that boy until he quits?" the boss requested.

(Cheering)

"So long little boy!" he laughed evilly.

Meanwhile, Hayley enters the restroom. She was about to use the toilets and before she dropped her pants down, she recognized a fast food wrapper. She cancels her bathroom usage for a moment as she opens a shower curtain. Inside the tub there was a bunch of fast food wrappers.

"Taco Belle? What's going on in here?" she asked as she removed a huge pile of wrappers, only to find Steve hiding.

"Steve?!" Hayley exclaimed.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

The entire Smith family was at the living room. Nobody looked very happy seeing Steve gain so much weight.

"Son, what is going on? Have you put on a little weight? It better be football season" Stan questioned.

"Guys, it's not what it looks like. You see, Snot dared me to eat nothing but fast food for thirty days and if i win, he'll pay for my next date with Zoey" Steve explained.

"Honey, eating nothing but fast food isn't good for you. Besides, you're not doing this to get laid, are you?" Francine wondered.

"Hey Mr. and Mrs. S, I think this is cool. He's doing a much better job than Morgan Spurlock!" Jeff exclaimed.

"Jeff, you're not helping!" Hayley snapped.

"Guys I'm halfway done. I need fifteen more days and I'll be done and I beat Snot" Steve said.

"Are you sure you want to do this son?" Stan asked.

"I'm glad you're okay but it would have been better if you told us before the challenge. I knew it wasn't you and it was Roger disguised as you. I remember last week" Hayley recalled.

 **Flashback**

Hayley sees Roger wearing Steve's outfit, humping...math homework.

"I didn't see anything!" she panicked.

 **Flashback Ends**

"So if you want to win this, we'll support you" Hayley said.

"Thanks, you guys" Steve smiled.

Cutaway

"Our top story today: a bunch of fast food workers are poisoning their food until further notice here in Langley Falls. Apparently, they want a certain customer to stop eating places such as Taco Belle, McDonald's, and so forth. For the time now, nobody is allowed to eat at any of these places until further notice" Terry announced on the news.

 **Cutaway 2**

We see Ralph Wiggum eating a Happy Meal.

"It tastes yummy!" he exclaimed, but his stomach was rumbling.

"Oww, my tummy is going to explode!" he ran to the bathroom.

 **Cutaway 2 Ends**

 **Cutaway Ends**

"No! That means Snot will win! What am I going to do?" Steve wondered.

"I have an idea son" Stan answered.

Meanwhile, the boss that thought of contaminating the fast food products was actually Snot's uncle.

"Snot, it worked! There was no poison. This prank is working!" he exclaimed.

"Thanks Uncle Jim" Snot answered.

Meanwhile, the entire Smith family traveled to...Richmond.

"Dad, why are we here?" Hayley wondered.

"It's simple Hayley; the food isn't contaminated here so Steve can finish his challenge. Son, are you hungry?" Stan asked.

"Yes dad" Steve answered.

Later, he eats more Mexican food from Taco Belle as the family cheer on him.

Meanwhile, Snot checked to see if Steve was home.

"Steve, do you want to play Air Hogs?" he asked but there was nobody home.

"The car is gone, oh wait a minute, Steve is cheating!" he shouted.

Later, the family drives home. Steve is carrying a bag of food.

"You're getting there honey" Francine said as the family got out of the car after they arrive home.

Steve steps out, only to see Snot angrily crossing his arms.

"Where have you been? The food is contaminated" Snot demanded.

"Uh Dad gave me his food from the CIA" Steve lied.

"(Sigh) I'm not going to argue with you. Steve, I told my uncle to lie to everyone that the food was contaminated. It was a trick just to get you to lose the bet. You see, I don't have a lot of money. So I had to cheat to make you lose. I'm really sorry" Snot explained as he apologized.

"It's all right. I'll tell you what. I want to successfully finish this challenge. Fix this mess and you don't have to pay anything" Steve suggested.

"All right!" Snot cheered.

Days later, the fast food at Langley Falls is safe to eat again. Steve continues to eat and eat more food. However, he seems to be struggling.

 **Day 30**

Steve is eating his final meal in the challenge. It was 8 steak tacos from Taco Belle. The entire Smith family plus Zoey is cheering on him.

"Come on Steve, you can do it! I believe in you babe!" Zoey cheered on her boyfriend.

Steve consumes one taco.

(Cheering)

Then he eats two more tacos.

(Cheering loudly)

"Five more little brother!" Hayley cheered.

However, Steve is having trouble breathing.

"Steve, are you okay?" Jeff asked.

"I'm fine. I just need something to remove the sweat out of my forehead" Steve answered as Jeff wiped sweat out of his head with a sweatband. Then, he eats two more tacos.

(Cheering)

"One more taco, you can do it!" Zoey cheered as Steve consumes his final taco.

(Loud cheering)

"I did it! I ate nothing but fast food for thirty days straight! It's finally over!" Steve exclaimed. "I need a bucket though!" he grabs a gray bucket and pukes on it.

(Groaning)

Moments later, Steve is sitting on the couch.

"How much weight did I gain?" he wondered.

"I'd say 100 pounds, big boy" Roger taunted.

"That's outrageous!" Stan exclaimed.

 **DING**

 **DING**

 **DING**

" _Congratulations! You said the magic word_!" I announced, off-screen.

"Yay!" Stan cheered as he left.

Zoey walks in, wearing a purple a purple sweatshirt, matching sweatpants, and white sneakers.

"It's time to lose weight Steve. The challenge is over and the weight is gone" she explained.

"Can we do it tomorrow please?" Steve begged.

"Fine" Zoey agreed.

Many days later, Zoey trains Steve and puts him on an extremely strict diet. This was done to the song "You're the Best" by Joe Esposito.

(Credits roll)

After so many days, Steve has finally returned to his normal weight. He and Zoey are on a date, eating organic food from supermarket with tables that people can eat at.

"I'm glad things worked out just fine" Steve said.

"You said it babe" Zoey agreed as they feed each other apple slices.

Out of nowhere, Beavis and Butthead arrived.

"You copied our idea!" Beavis shouted.

"I didn't want to get laid, I only wanted to beat my friend" Steve rebutted.

"Fair enough; hey look Beavis that chick is sweet (stupid laugh)" Butthead laughs.

"(Stupid laugh) we're in the wrong show" Beavis laughs with him.

"I'm not even going to ask" Steve shook his head and he and Zoey continue eating.

 **End of Act 3**


	5. Wrestling Dad

**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **American Dad**_ **or WWE. They are owned by Seth MacFarlane and Vince McMahon, respectively. I do not own the wrestlers or the celebrities as well.**

 **Opening Act**

The episode opens with the intro to every WWE show with the "Then, Now, Forever" video.

The screen shows a white screen. Out of nowhere, Vince McMahon shows up.

"Hello, relax this is _American Dad: Pen123 Edition_. You guys are not lost. Please don't exit the site. So anyways, I'm honored to be parodied here in this fan fiction universe. This is the first time appearing in an adult cartoon and a fan fiction site. Without further ado, sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. If you don't like it, then you'rrrrreeee firrrreeeeeddd!" Vince announced.

"Sorry, I just like saying that."

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the CIA. Stan is playing computer games on his desktop computer.

"Oh how I wish I can go somewhere far from here" he told himself.

"Hey Stan, are you coming over for poker night?" his friend Dick appeared.

"I wish I could but I told Francine I was going to help her clean the gutters" Stan explained.

"Man you're missing out; get out of here and come chill with us" his friend Jackson arrived.

Deputy Avery Bullock arrives.

"Greetings, my fellow CIA children; I have a special announcement for you guys. As you can see, I have two tickets to a special sporting event. Let's just say it's better than basketball, soccer, football, and every other sport combined!" he announced.

"That's great sir, but if it's Little League or something, I think I'll pass" Stan said as everyone else agreed with him.

"Don't interrupt me Smith, but anyways, the winner will get these tickets in a raffle I just created" Bullock shows them a huge dragon's head that pukes out a ball with a paper inside.

"The lucky winner is…all garbage disposal must be removed by the end of…oh wait, I don't know why I put that" Bullock wondered as he disposed that announced that.

"Anyways, the winner of these tickets goes too…"

"Somebody grab my butt!" Stan shouted as everyone looked at him all disgusted.

"Stan Smith!" Bullock announced.

"Yay! I win! What's my prize?" Stan wondered as he received the tickets from his boss.

"A live WWE show in Madison Square Garden? Awesome! It comes with complimentary plane trips as well. This is the best day ever!" he cheered.

"I thought your first kill against a thug was your best day ever" Dick wondered.

"That too" Stan answered back.

Later, Stan returns home and the Smith family is sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Hi Stan, what are you doing here coming home so early?" Francine wondered.

"Great news Francine: I just won two tickets to watch WWE in New York!" Stan announced.

"How is that suppose to be exciting?" Hayley wondered as she is holding a sleeping baby Mary.

"Hayley, wrestling is awesome. Zoey and I watch that stuff all the time. Yes it's fake, but the storylines are much more creative that that other show" Steve said.

"What other show dude?" Jeff wondered.

"Everyone shut up and let me finish. The big question is who can I take to go watch WWE?" Stan wondered.

"Pick me Stan! I love professional wrestling. I used to be a top German wrestler before the CIA switched _mein_ brain with a goldfish!" Klaus shouted.

"Shut up Klaus!" Roger screamed as the goldfish kicked him with his tail.

"Anyone else wants to tell me to shut up?" Klaus asked.

"Are you done? Well, after so much thinking, I'm taking Francine with me" Stan announced.

"Oh thank you Stan! This is going to be the best vacation ever!" Francine cheered.

"Oh well, at least I can spend time with Zoey" Steve told himself.

Moments later, Klaus finds Roger in the attic.

"Roger I'm sorry for kicking you. I didn't mean to hurt you like that" the goldfish apologized.

"Not now I'm busy" the alien said as he looked outside a window, smoking a cigarette.

"I didn't mean to hurt you, I swear. My anger got the best of me, that's all" Klaus explained.

"I don't need your sob story. Now get out of my site" Roger snapped.

"Fine, I'll just hang out with people…other creatures willing to be my friend" Klaus left while Roger laughed.

"What's so funny?" Klaus wondered.

"Other talking creatures?! You must be really high goldy" Roger taunted.

"There are other talking creatures out there. Trust me, I'll find them and they'll make better friends that you! You'll see!" Klaus left.

The next day, Stan and Francine are leaving to the airport to New York to go watch their WWE show.

"Oh Francine, this is going to be the best free date we have ever had" Stan said.

"Oh Stan, I'm so glad you picked me! Seeing professional wrestlers turn me on!" Francine said in a seductive tone as she was kissing Stan.

"Francine please; save it for the main event" Stan told her as they smiled and went inside their plane.

After a few hours on the plane, the Smith couple arrived to New York. They rode on a taxi and settled things inside a hotel room.

"Oh Francine, this is going to be so much fun! I didn't know you were a fan of professional wrestling" Stan said.

"Oh Stan, seeing two wrestlers going against each other turns me on!" Francine exclaimed as the couple make out.

"Stan, I don't think we have time though. We need to get to Madison Square Garden now" Francine suggested as she and Stan left the hotel room.

Meanwhile, Klaus, while still in his bowl, walks around at a park.

"Oh where will I find some other talking creatures?" the goldfish wondered as he saw a bunch of mermen and fish bodies with human feet.

"This just made my dream come true!" Klaus cheered as he approached them.

"Hello there; I'm Klaus. I'm one of you guys" the goldfish introduced himself.

"Hello, I'm Tom. It's nice to meet you fish" the merman said.

"Do you guys want to be best friends?" Klaus wondered.

"Of course, but are you wearing a costume though?" Tom asked.

"Uh yeah, about that…" Klaus runs away! The mermen and fish bodies chase him.

"Get back here! We just want to talk to you!" they chase the fish as we see Roger…driving a coach bus for some reason.

"I'm bored, so I just got a job driving buses!" the alien cheered as he broke the fourth wall.

Later, Stan and Francine arrived outside of Madison Square Garden.

"Wow, I did not expect that many people here. Oh well, I guess they're waiting for the main event huh?" Stan wondered.

"Here we go!" Francine cheered as the line started to move and they walked in.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

"I love wrestling! It's the only place to get drunk on light beer and yell at half-naked giants!" Stan shouted as he and Francine found their seats inside Madison Square Garden.

"Oh look Stan, it's J.J. Abrams!" Francine pointed out an animated version of the movie director.

"Ladies and gentlemen; J.J. Abrams is directing _Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakening_ , in theaters December 18th" Stan announced as subtitles of the movie is shown.

"Oh look, there are Michael Jordan, Michelle Kwan, Edward James Olmos, Alfonso Cuarón, and Jennifer Lawrence" Francine pointed out animated versions of the celebrities sitting and watching the wrestling show.

"Yup, they arrived in time for the main event, just like everyone else here at Madison Square Garden" Stan added as John Bradshaw Layfield's theme song is played.

(Cheering)

"Boo!" Stan jeered at the former world champion while everyone glares at him.

"What? He sucks!" Stan argued.

Later, Stan and Francine each drank more than 15 cups of light beer.

"Oh look Francine; Seth Rollins has arrived with his boyfriend Kane. I heard he paid for sex to have Kane help him win matches. That son of a bitch!" Stan said in a slurred tone.

"Yeah, and I heard Stephanie slept with the writers just to keep the authority alive in WWE. That lady is just a whore!" Francine added as she was also drunk.

"Hey look, the match is about to start!" Stan shouted.

Moments later, the match consisted of Dolph Ziggler, John Cena, and Daniel Bryan versus Kofi Kingston, Seth Rollins, and Kane, with Triple H and Stephanie McMahon watching in ringside.

"Dork Ziggler! Joan Cena! Danielle Bryan! Meth Rollins!" Stan shouts insults.

"I do not look like Walter White!" Seth Rollins snapped back at Stan.

"Settle down, young man" Kane instructed.

"Yes, sir" Seth Rollins responded.

"My God, they suck so much! Hey Stephanie, did you dad pay for your breast enlargement because you look like a ho! (Laughs)" Francine taunted loudly.

"Hey Kofi! Nice move working as a wrestler instead of going to grad school! Good luck trying to get a PhD!" Stan taunted.

"Oh no! You do not talk my son like that!" Kofi's mother appeared.

"Oh yeah, well do you know how much time he spent wrestling? He doesn't know because he didn't go to grad school!" Stan rebutted.

"Oh yeah, do you know how long this match lasted?" Mrs. Kingston asked.

"Not really" Stan replied.

"How the hell are you a member of the CIA if you don't know your math?" Mrs. Kingston wondered.

"Uh, I passed on a curve?" Stan lied.

Kofi Kingston looked at his mom at the audience where his opponent is seeking medical help momentarily.

"Hey mom, why is the forever alone guy yelling at you?" Kofi asked.

"I do NOT look like the forever alone guy!" Stan snaps.

 **Cutaway 1**

Stan is posing for a meme.

"Seriously, I do not look like the forever alone guy!" Stan complained.

"Say it, now!" someone shouted off-screen.

"(Sighs) waitress touches shoulder, I love her!" Stan aka the Forever Alone Guy said while crying.

 **End of Cutaway 1**

Steve and Zoey are surfing on the internet, looking at memes.

"Steve, why does your dad look like the forever alone guy?" Zoey asked.

"I honestly don't know. Probably the haircut, I guess" he answered.

"I guess you're right" she responded. "Then again, you kind of look like a scumbag."

"What?"

"What?"

(A/E Get it? There's a meme called Scumbag Steve and he does look like Steve Smith. (Cricket Sounds) You guys are horrible!)

"Zoey, this gives me an idea" Steve said.

"What is it, babe?" she asked.

"Why don't we create a meme of our very own?" he suggested.

"I love that idea! Let's do it!" Zoey cheered.

Moments later, Stan and Francine drank almost 50 cups of beer and an ice resurfacer carries all the empty cups of beer.

"Hi Chris Hemsworth" Stan told directly at Triple H. "Why are you the CEO of the WWE where you should be filming _Thor_ , you dumbass? (Laughs)"

"I do not look like Chris Hemsworth" the CEO of WWE rebutted.

"Yes you do. You have the hammer, just like Thor!" Stephanie McMahon agreed.

"He does have a point, you know" John Cena agreed as he's catching his breath for a moment.

"Shut up, the both of you!" Hunter shouted.

"You do not tell me to shut up Hunter! I wear the pants in the relationship, while you're busy wearing my panties!" Stephanie shouted as John Cena snickered.

"Yes ma'am" Triple H agreed.

Later, Seth Rollins pinned Daniel Bryan 1, 2, and 3. The heels picked up the victory.

"You guys are terrible! Have you ever heard of defense? You guys should have cheated, you dumbasses!" Stan shouted in a very drunk tone towards the faces.

Moments later when the audience left Madison Square Garden, all the wrestlers gathered outside of a locker room.

"Guys, this Stan Smith guy made fun of my mom. Yes we're wrestlers and wrestling isn't real, but that really hurts my feelings" Kofi Kingston said.

"He called me Meth Rollins. He thinks I make meth. I'm supposed to be a tough guy, but I feel really hurt" Seth Rollins added.

"He called me the big red piece of shit" Kane added.

"Okay guys, I know you guys are upset, but what can we do?" Stephanie suggested.

"I know; let's find that Stan Smith guy and give him a taste of his own medicine! That will teach him who's boss" Daniel Bryan suggested.

"Good idea, my man!" Dolph Ziggler agreed.

"So, we're all in an agreement, then? We find Stan Smith and teach him a lesson that he will never forget!" Kofi Kingston suggested.

"Yes sir!" Seth Rollins agreed.

"I just hope the referee doesn't make us lose by count out" Daniel Bryan added.

"(Laughs) count out, he says. Count out, referee, oh God, (laughing out loud)" John Cena is rolling on the floor laughing while the rest of the WWE roster looks at him all strange.

"Is this supposed to be the guy who's supposed to be the face of WWE?" Seth Rollins wondered.

"I guess so" Triple H answered as John Cena continues to laugh on the floor nonstop.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Moments later, Klaus is running towards the Smith household. For some odd reason, he opens the door and runs inside.

At Steve's room, Steve and Zoey kept planning a meme.

"How about "I don't like your post, you get a bitch slap"?" Zoey suggested.

"Naw, it's done already" Steve disagreed.

"I'm too hot for this crap!" Zoey shouted.

"Zoey, that's it! Say it again!" Steve exclaimed.

"I'm too hot for this crap!" Zoey repeated.

"We did it. We have created our very own meme! Smile" Steve suggested as Zoey poses. Moments later, he uploads the photo with the captions "I'm too hot for this crap" written on it.

Moments later, the WWE superstars are waiting for a bus. There comes the bus that Roger is driving.

"Where to?" Roger asked.

"Takes us to Langley Falls, Virginia and step on it!" Triple H ordered.

"Ayay, captain, but can I get John Cena's autograph afterwards?" the alien asked.

Moments later, the mermen and the fish bodies arrived outside of the Smith household. At the same time, the bus that carried the wrestlers also arrived. Both approached towards the building at the same time. They glare at each other.

"Step aside, weird looking creatures! I got business to take care of!" Triple H demanded.

"So do I" Tom rebutted as he used his fish tail and knocked The Game out.

"Hunter's in trouble!" John Cena shouted.

"Hunter, shock it to death!" Dolph Ziggler suggested.

"For the last time Dolph, _Deep Blue Sea_ was not real!" Daniel Bryan argued.

"But it seemed so real" Dolph said.

The wrestlers are getting their butts kicked by the creatures pretty badly. John Cena was pushed down and he slipped. Stephanie's legs were tied up. The rest were kicked in their heads.

Stan is looking outside.

"Francine, Jeff, Hayley, Steve, Klaus, and Roger, come look outside! A bunch of sea creatures are kicking WWE superstars' asses! This is the best day ever!" Stan exclaimed as everyone except Steve, Zoey, Klaus, and Roger were watching and laughing.

Klaus walks down, only to be stopped by Tom.

"There he is!" he shouted as the goldfish hid inside Stan and Francine's bedroom as the creatures chased him.

"Don't hurt me! I'm actually a human being trapped in a goldfish body! I don't mean any harm!" Klaus cried.

"You don't say? Gentlemen, why don't we take him for good?" Tom suggested as the creatures surrounded Klaus, but Roger approached and attacked them with wires filled with electricity and killed them all, except for Klaus.

"Roger, you saved me! I'm sorry about hitting you! I feel like shit Roger! Can you ever forgive me?" Klaus pleaded.

"It's okay fish. I'm sorry for telling you to shut up. Friends?" Roger asked as he and Klaus shook hands and they walked down to the living room. The WWE superstars surround Stan as he looks very scared.

"Guys, please don't hurt me! I didn't mean what I said at the live show. I have eaten 10 pounds of medicinal Resse's Pieces!" Stan whined while kneeling down and covering his head with his hands.

"We don't want to hurt you Stan" Dolph Ziggler said.

"Neither does the WWE nor its affiliates condone violence as a solution to any problem" Triple H added.

"But you did made fun of my mother and I can't let that slide! Where's your mother?" Kofi Kingston demanded.

"She's right over here" Stan responded by bringing in his mom, Betty Smith.

"Oh yeah, well yo momma is so ugly..." Kofi Kingston was interrupted.

"KOFI!" Mrs. Kingston arrived.

"Mom, what are you doing here?" her son asked.

"Someone forgot to tell his mother where he landed. Plus, someone also forget to use his manners! Apologize to this nice lady!" Mrs. Kingston demanded as she's pulling her son's right ear.

"Sorry, Mrs. Smith" the African wrestler apologized.

"Oh I'm sure my son did something to deserve it. Stan, isn't there something you like to say?" Stan's mom asked.

"No!" he snapped but his mom pulled his left eat in retaliation. "Okay, I'm sorry for real! Friends?" Stan offered a handshake.

"Aww, come here you!" Kofi Kingston accepted his apology and the two hugged.

Kane offers Seth Rollins a tissue, who wipes his eyes from crying tears of joy.

"You see, now that's what's best for business!" Steve exclaimed as he and Zoey walked downstairs as well.

"HA!" Roger shouted off-screen.

Later at night, Stan and Francine are in bed, getting ready for bed.

"You know Francine; I realized that the only way to get attention from professional athletes is by teasing them. That way, they'll find you and talk to you" Stan said.

"Whatever you say honey, goodnight" Francine added as she turned off the lamp.

(Credits roll)

It was late at night. Steve was getting ready to go to sleep. He looks at Zoey's meme. There was an article of a robbery in California. He used Zoey's meme on the comments section.

"It will be the best thing ever!" he shouted to himself as Hayley walks in.

"Hi Steve, are you going to bed already?" she asked.

"Hi sis; yeah, after a long day of creating a meme with Zoey, it will be the best thing ever" Steve explained as he showed his sister the meme of Zoey posing with the captions **"I'm too hot for this crap!"**.

"The best part is whatever moment happens, I'll use this meme and it will create laughs" Steve explained.

"Steve, that meme targets predators. You need to take that down. It will attract pedophiles and the government" Hayley suggested.

"Oh shit, you're right!" Steve calls on his cell phone. "Hi Zoey, it's no good. The meme is not appropriate! We need to get rid of it, pronto!" he shouted.

" _I know_ " Zoey answered, off-screen.

"You know? Oh no!" Steve shouted.

" _It's gone for good now. Besides, I only 0 views, so it doesn't matter_ " Zoey explained.

"Oh thank God; well, goodnight everyone!" Steve waived to the audience.

 **End of Act 3**

 **P.S. This episode had a similar plot to a certain episode of _The Cleveland Show,_ where Cleveland and Donna goes to a basketball game. So yeah, I wanted to try it out, but use WWE instead, since WWE is fake. Read and review, and see you next week.**


	6. Ultimate Fighting Chick

**Disclaimer: I do not own** _ **American Dad**_ **or the songs or anything else but my OC.**

 **Opening Scene**

The scene starts off at Pearl Bailey High School. Zoey had just left the ladies' room.

"(Sigh) I can't believe I have this geometry test to study tomorrow. I shouldn't have taken Honors Geometry" Zoey told herself as she saw a bunch of kids gathering around a fight between two girls. Steve approaches his girlfriend.

"What's going on?" Steve asked.

"I have no idea Steve. It seems that there's a fight going on" Zoey explained as the two girls were going at it against each other.

"FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" all but Steve and Zoey chanted as the girls were beating each other nonstop. One of them picks up the win.

(Cheering)

"Okay, break it up already! Everyone go home! The next fight won't be until the last day of school" Principal Lewis appears as he restores order in the school.

"Principal Lewis, what are you doing here? I thought the school fired you" Zoey wondered.

"Your friend Jeff called it quits because he hates having lots of responsibilities, but now I'm back bitches! (Hoots)" Lewis exclaimed.

 **End of Opening Scene**

 **Act 1**

The next day, Zoey takes her geometry test and as usual, got a perfect score of 100% from late night studying. She walks to her locker to retrieve her things, but suddenly, a big tall black girl slams her.

"Move it bitch!" she screamed as Zoey is left on the floor.

Steve walks by.

"So Zoey, how did you...oh my God!" Steve panicked as he saw his girlfriend left unconscious.

Later, the scene shifts at the hospital, where Steve, Hayley, Jeff, and Zoey's parents are waiting patiently at the waiting room.

Zoey arrives, but with bandages on her head.

"Zoey, are you all right?" Steve asked as he ran to go hug her.

"Steve, I'm fine. It was a cheap shot. I'm so angry!" Zoey screamed.

"Honey, are you all right?" Mrs. Wilson asked as she and her husband hugged their daughter.

"Who is that girl?" Jeff wondered.

"Beats me Jeff, but Lewis should have not been hired" Hayley added.

"I want to fight that girl, just like how the two girls fought yesterday" Zoey said.

"What fight?" Mrs. Wilson asked.

"Oops, I shouldn't have said that. Damn it" Zoey cursed.

"Honey, I don't think fighting is such a good idea. You could be hurt again. You should always tell us if there's ever a fight or the principal...just tell us and we'll tell the school board" Mr. Wilson suggested.

"Yes sir" Zoey replied with a sad tone.

Later, Steve and Zoey are watching TV at the Smith household.

"Are you okay babe?" Steve asked in a seductive voice as he tries to kiss his girlfriend.

"I'm not in the mood" Zoey said in an upset tone.

"Okay" Steve surrendered sadly.

"I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back" Zoey added as she stood up and walked upstairs.

(Punching)

Zoey continues to go up, wondering where the punching noise is coming from. It was...Roger disguised as Rocky Balboa for some odd reason. He was punching a punching bag with red gloves.

"Hi Roger" Zoey said quietly.

"Hi Steve's X-rated girlfriend, what do you want?" the alien asked.

"Calm down, I'm not that inappropriate. Second of all, I was wondering if you could teach me some fight moves" Zoey suggested.

"Fight moves? Well, you see little girl, boxing isn't fighting. This is fighting" Roger explains as he attacks the punching bag with a roundhouse kick. It breaks apart.

"Why on Earth are you dressed like Rocky Balboa?" Zoey wondered.

"It's laundry day" Roger explained.

 **Cutaway**

Klaus is scrubbing and cleaning all of Roger's costumes.

"That peanut butter and jelly sandwich better be worth it" he said as he continues to clean.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Okay then, will you show me how to fight? There was this girl at school who beat me up for no reason and I want revenge on her" Zoey explained.

"Okay fine, just come in tomorrow evening. I know how to help you out" Roger suggested.

"If you weren't an alien, I'd hug you" Zoey said with a smile.

Later, Stan and Francine are in bed together.

(Crying)

"Grr, my granddaughter just don't know when to shut up" Stan said.

"Stan, she's only a baby. We had the same problem too when Steve and Hayley were babies" Francine added.

"Things were different Francine. I'm going to go there and demand why she won't be quiet" Stan suggested as he got out of bed, put on a blue robe, and walked to Hayley and Jeff's room, who are extremely tired. Baby Mary is crying nonstop, but Stan picks her up.

"Hi little fella" Stan cooed his granddaughter as she stopped crying and laughed.

"You're a good little girl, aren't you? Want your grandpa Stan tell you a bedtime story? Once upon a time..." Stan told his granddaughter a story.

The next day, Zoey visits Roger's attic. She has a pink t-shirt and matching sweatpants with white sneakers. The alien is clad in a black sweat suit.

"Okay Zoey, before we trained, is Steve okay?" Roger asked.

"I took care of it under control" Zoey explained.

 **Cutaway**

Steve is putting his stuff in his locker. He sees Zoey...without a top on, leaving her in a black bra. Steve's eyes were wide open and his face turned bright red.

"I'm hanging out with Roger. I hope you don't mind" Zoey said.

"Fine by me" Steve said as he was blushing and he collapsed.

"Sorry" Zoey said as she puts her shirt back on and carries him home.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Okay Ms. Wilson, the first thing you need to know about fighting is that it's not pretty" Roger explained.

"I already know that" Zoey said.

"Good and the next rule is that there are no rules" Roger added.

"Plus we cannot mention the rules about fighting. Roger, I've seen _Fight Club_ so many times. Plus your rules don't quite follow them in exact order" Zoey added.

"Fine, I'm no Brad Pitt, but listen Zoey, you got this, so give me a shot" Roger ordered as Zoey gives the alien one powerful kick to the face.

"Not on me, you stupid bitch!" Roger whined in pain.

"You told me to give you a shot!" Zoey snapped.

"Fine you win the internet today" Roger said as he continues to endure the pain.

The next day, Zoey was getting ready to go home. It was the same girl that shoved her last time.

"Move it!" the black girl screamed.

"Not this time bitch!" Zoey retaliated as she gives her a sucker punch. A bunch of nerds show up.

"Hey look; two girls are going at it! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!" one of them shouted as Zoey and the girl fought each other while a whole bunch of high school students show up.

The fight did not last long as Zoey emerged victorious as she left the girl knocked out.

(Cheering)

"Oh my God, that girl defeated Jocelyn! Way to go Zoey!" someone shouted as Steve looked very shocked.

Principal Lewis appears from out of nowhere.

"Wilson, to the office now" he demanded as Zoey complied.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

The scene shifts to the principal's office.

Zoey's mother is sitting next to her daughter, very disappointed.

"Zoey, how could you?" Mrs. Wilson asked.

"Thank you for coming Mrs. Wilson. First of all, I'm very shocked to hear this as well. Zoey has always been a really good girl. In fact, she's one of the favorites to be the valedictorian for her year of graduation. However, I noticed that your daughter got into a fight...and it was awesome!" Principal Lewis cheered.

"Excuse me?!" Mrs. Wilson shouted.

"This girl is amazing. Listen young lady, have you consider fighting in EWF?" Lewis asked.

"What's that?" Mrs. Wilson asked.

"Extreme Women Fighting" Lewis answered.

"Not really" Zoey responded.

"Well you should young lady because you have talent and potential. I'll tell you what: compete there and I promise to name you the valedictorian by the time you graduate. Besides, that girl was so much trouble. Her father made me take her in. What do you say?" Lewis asked.

"I guess it could be all right" Zoey answered.

"Are you sure honey?" Mrs. Wilson asked.

"Please mom, it will look good on my resume" Zoey pleaded.

"Well, all right; anything to make my little girl happy" Mrs. Wilson supported.

"Thanks mom" Zoey hugs her mom.

"Oh and for the record, you're not in trouble. Why don't we consider this a warning, yes?" Principal Lewis suggested.

A few days later, Zoey enters a training room while carrying a duffle bag. Inside the places, it was filled with a lot of female fighters. For some odd reason, Roger (wearing a black hoodie and matching sweatpants with sneakers) is there.

"Roger, is that you?" Zoey wondered as she sees the alien.

"Zoey, my beautiful friend, come on in" Roger said as he sees her walking in.

"Okay where do I start?" Zoey wondered.

"Watch and learn, my friend" Roger explained as Zoey practiced some moves on to the alien.

Days later, Zoey (clad in a pink sports bra and black shorts) is preparing for her first match in Ultimate Women's Fighting. Roger is watching her, along with the rest of the Smith family and Zoey's parents.

"Use the force Zoey" Roger suggested.

"This isn't _Star Wars!_ " Zoey shouted back as she was facing a woman who was a foot taller than her. She had a white sports bra and green shorts.

The song _Bad Reputation_ by Joan Jett is played as Zoey was fighting. Believe it or not, she is doing really well. Her finisher was an over the top cross arm bar, which forces someone to tap out instantly.

"How does Zoey do it?" Steve wondered as he and the rest of the families were impressed.

We see a montage of Zoey fighting different women, all losing to the same submission while the song continues to play.

Many days later, Zoey, Steve, and Roger were having a meal. The alien is reading a newspaper, where the sports section on the newspaper reads " **Zoey 'Hot Girl' Wilson is 24-0, with 19 total knockouts** ".

"Zoey, you are amazing!" Roger cheered.

"Thanks Roger; for an alien, you're not that bad" Zoey responded with a smile.

"I'm proud of you girlfriend" Steve said as he makes out with his girlfriend.

"Thanks Steve" she answered back.

"Guys, as much as I love seeing you guys (bleep), let's get serious. Ms. Wilson, I think you're ready" Roger said.

"For what?" Zoey asked.

"Her" Roger points the newspaper at her as there was a picture of a blonde woman, who was 7'0'' tall and weighs 250 pounds.

"Zoey, meet your toughest challenge: Elsa 'The Russian Roulette' Dragonovich', all the way from Moscow, Russia! This lady is 134-0, with all 134 being total knockouts. In fact, she challenges you to a fight. What do you say? Can you make it past round 2, unlike the poor and innocent 134 victims?" Roger suggested.

"I don't know Roger" Zoey answered.

"Oh come on, I got $400 on you winning" Roger begged.

"I don't know Zoey; Elsa is difficult to beat" Steve added.

"I like to challenge her! Challenge accepted!" Zoey cheered.

"Good luck" Roger said.

Moments later, there was breaking news on TV. It features a promo featuring Zoey and Elsa. Posters of the fight were everywhere at Langley Falls. The pay per view between the fight was $79.99.

Days later after the two girls officially confirm the fight, there was a weigh-in going on. It was Zoey's turn. She removes her clothes, revealing her purple bra and matching lacy tanga panties. She steps up to the scale and it measures 105 lbs.

"105 pounds, ladies and gentlemen!" an announcer said.

(Cheering)

Zoey steps out and proceeds to put her clothes back on.

"That's nothing!" Elsa shows up. (A/E Elsa is voiced by the undefeated UFC fighter Ronda Rousey). She removes her clothes, leaving her in a black bikini.

"Damn it, no one told me bikinis were okay" Zoey cursed as Elsa is being weighed.

"250 pounds ladies and gentlemen!" the announcer said.

(Cheering)

"It's official. The next fight will be Zoey "Hot Girl" Wilson versus Elsa "The Russian Roulette" Dragonovich!

Later, Zoey was getting ready to go home. Steve approaches her.

"Zoey, I don't think you should fight" Steve suggested.

"Steve, I have to do this!" Zoey shouted.

"No, I can't let you do this! I'm not losing my girlfriend to some Russian bitch!" Steve argued.

"You are starting to sound like my father" Zoey argued.

"Well maybe he's right" Steve rebutted.

"It's my decision, not yours Steven! I wanted to do mix martial arts for such a long time! Why are you making me give up something that means so special to me?"

"Because I care about you and I love you. Zoey, I'm sorry but this is for your own good. If you want to stay mad at me, that's fine, but deep down, you'll thank me later. You either drop this or we're through!" Steve screamed.

"I can't believe you! I thought you were my dream guy, but you're sound just like my father! I hate you! We're through! (Crying)" Zoey cried as she runs away from Steve.

"Whoa Steven, you mind if do the same what you did to break up this girl of mine?" Roger asked as an obsessive fan won't stop following him.

"I want your pants!" she screamed.

Steve simply glares at him.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Moments later, Steve is at his bedroom, crying. Jeff walks by.

"Steve, are you okay?" Jeff asked.

"No! Zoey broke up with me!" Steve cried.

"Girls, huh? I would help, but that will make you and Zoey get married early. Well good luck. Sorry I can't help but I need to give Mary her bath" Jeff said as he left.

Hayley walks in to Steve's room.

"What's wrong little buddy?" she asked.

"Zoey and I broke up again. She gave up on me just so she can fight!" Steve explained.

"Steve, did you think of what Zoey always wanted to do?" Hayley asked.

"(Sigh) not really. I just wanted her to be safe. I guess I only thought of myself" Steve said as he was sitting up.

"Steve, you really hurt Zoey. She really wanted to fight. If she backs down, she'll be hated forever by the public" Hayley explained.

"Hayley, I'm scared for her. I don't think she's ready yet. She's not even 18 and that girl is like 40" Steve explained.

"Instead of bitching, why not encourage her?!" Hayley snapped.

"But..." Steve was interrupted.

"No buts! Buts are for pooping!" Hayley shouted.

Steve snickers.

"Oh you think that's funny? Well there's nothing funny about fighting with your girlfriend and breaking up with her, again!" Hayley said.

"Sorry, I'm laughing when you said 'buts are for pooping'! It makes sense, you know" Steve added as Hayley rolls her eyes.

"I want you to think about it once you stopped laughing" she demanded as she left.

Later, Steve looks at a window of a gym. He sees his former girlfriend training with Roger.

The song "Illegal" by Shakira plays as Steve is walking along a path. He visions his past moments with him and Zoey, going back to the first time they met up until now.

Later, he goes home as he refused to eat dinner, but simply went straight to bed.

Francine walks by.

"Hi honey, I brought you a ham sandwich. Things haven't looked good since your breakup with Zoey huh?" Francine asked.

"Hi mom, Zoey does not get it. I love her and care about her a lot!" Steve answered.

"Honey, things will be fine. I think you're more nervous of her losing. Zoey is a strong girl. I know she'll win. It won't be easy but she's Zoey" Francine said.

"(Sigh) maybe I haven't been fair to her. Mom, I need to fix things with her. What if she doesn't take me back? What if she moved on?" Steve wondered.

"I'm sure Zoey will take you back. She misses you more than you miss her" Francine said as she kissed her son's head and left. Steve proceeds to eat his sandwich as he continues to cry. We also see Zoey crying at her bed while looking at photos of her and Steve.

Days later, it was the big fight. Zoey is getting ready for her match. She puts on her tape on her hands. However, a glove falls to the ground.

"You dropped something?" a person told her. It was Steve.

"Hi Steve, what are you doing here?" she asked in an upset tone.

"Zoey, you were right. I have been very overprotective. I just want to say I'm sorry. I want to be your boyfriend, not your dad. I still want you to be okay, since you're the only girlfriend that actually loved and cared about me. I understand if you don't want to take me back" Steve said.

"Thank you Steve" Zoey added.

"If this makes you happy, then I'm happy for you. All I ask is that you give our relationship another chance" Steve pleaded.

"Absolutely!" Zoey agreed as she and Steve reconciled and hugged and kissed each other. "I really missed you so much! It wasn't the same without you."

"What do you say? Are you ready to kick Elsa's ass?" Steve asked.

"Hell yeah! By the way, I'm sorry I said I hate you. I feel like shit for saying that. I really do"

"It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'm sure we all said that once in our lifetime but it doesn't mean anything. What's more important is our love" Steve explained as the couple make out.

"All right ladies, get out there now!" Roger demanded.

"I'm a boy, you idiot!" Steve shouted.

"Oh well, carry on!" the alien said as he left.

Later, the arena where the fight is held contains a sold-out crowd and millions of people watching the fight.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the main event is finally here! Introducing first, the undefeated Elsa 'The Russian Roulette' Dragonovich!" the announcer said as Elsa stepped inside with the Russian national anthem played as her theme song.

"And now her opponent: Zoey 'Hot Girl' Wilson'" the announcer said as Zoey walks to the ring with the song _Burning Heart_ by Survivor playing.

"I must destroy you!" Elsa shouted.

(Bell rings)

Right away, Elsa punches Zoey's face multiple times.

(Audience oohing)

Zoey falls to the ground, but is not knocked out.

"Are you ready to die? Vladimir Putin, I made you proud! I took down an American weakling!" Elsa taunted as she lifts Zoey and punches her multiple times.

"Thins do not look good ladies and gentlemen! If I were Zoey, I'd waive a white flag right about now" the commentator said as the girls continue to fight.

"I'm not bowing down!" Zoey retaliated as she punches and kicks back at Elsa. This was done as the intro to "Eye of the Tiger" by Survivor plays.

"Come on Zoey!" Mr. Wilson shouted.

"You can do it baby!" Mrs. Wilson cheered.

Steve goes up to a standing microphone.

 _Rising up back on the street; did my time took my chances_

"Okay, get the hell out of here!" Roger shouted

"Screw you Roger!" Steve screamed.

Despite her best efforts, Elsa continues to annihilate Zoey. Her face is covered with blood.

"It's not over!" Zoey screamed as she counters Elsa's finisher with a powerful roundhouse kick and does her submission.

(Cheering)

"How does she do that? That Zoey is unstoppable! I think we see an upset pulling in!" the commentator shouted as Elsa is struggling to get out of the submission. However, Zoey's move was so strong that Elsa had no choice but to submit.

(Cheering)

"I cannot believe it! Zoey Wilson created one of the biggest upsets in UWF history! Nobody has ever defeated Elsa until today! There's your champion ladies and gentlemen!" the commentator cheered as Zoey got her arm raised in victory, along with a title belt on her waist.

"Ladies and gentlemen; the winner of this match via submission: Zoey 'Hot Girl' Wilson!" the announcer said as everyone continues to cheer.

"I'm so proud of you! You are the best girlfriend I have ever had! Let's never break up again!" Steve exclaimed as he and Zoey kiss.

"Thanks boyfriend!" Zoey cheered as they celebrate.

(Credits roll)

The scene shifts to Zoey's room, with her championship belt hanging on the walls.

"Hello there" Steve said in a seductive tone as he walks in and they make out.

"Can I get a dorky boyfriend say what when I ask we have a baby now?" Zoey asked.

"What?!" Steve shouted as his girlfriend laughed.

"Just kidding! I love you babe!" Zoey said as they continue kissing.

Mr. Wilson walks in.

"Please keeps your pants on kids" he suggested as he left.

 **End of Act 3**


	7. Episode 63

**Opening Act**

The scene is live action, where a male celebrity is dressed in a blue warrior outfit with a boomerang on his back.

"Hey guys, this is Sokka. You guys are probably thinking it's Avatar right now. Sorry to spoil the beans but this isn't Avatar. I'm not even Sokka. Instead, call me Jack Desena The show ended...I have no idea honestly. No I'm here because my friend Mae aka the person who plays my little sister on the show begged for me nonstop to guest star on this show" Jack introduced.

"Is it _Avatar_?" some fan asked, off-screen.

"It's not _Avatar_! This is _American Dad_! _American Dad_ , damn it! Oh crap, I cursed, didn't I? There goes Sokka's popularity. (Sigh) I play Mae's character. See ya!" he leaves.

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

A land far, far away, there is an abandoned ocean. The ocean water is making a lot of waves. There is a magic wand floating out of the ocean. It was blue with a pointy star on top. Suddenly, an eagle carries it and flies away. Later, the eagle sees a lot of fish guts. It drops the wand as it gets food. The wand then moves on its own by the wind and it suddenly arrive at the CIA.

Stan Smith is working at his office, or that's what he thinks he's doing.

"Hmm, how do I make 20 copies in 2 minutes? God why do I suck at math?" he wondered.

"Smith, come check this out" Bullock arrives with the wand.

"Sir, what's going on?" Stan asked.

"Smith, as you can see, I was going to go out for lunch and then suddenly I found this beautiful wand. Look at me, I'm Harry Pothead" Bullock jokes around with the item.

"(Laughs) that's a good one sir. No but seriously, what does it do?" Stan asked.

"You tell me. Try to figure out what it does by the end of the week and you got yourself a one month paid vacation" Bullock suggested as he left.

"What's so special about this wand?" Stan wondered.

Meanwhile, at Pearl Bailey High School, Steve is waiting outside of the girl's bathroom.

"I told Zoey not to eat that chili. Now everyone will think my girlfriend is disgusting" he told himself.

"Hi Steve" Zoey arrives from out of nowhere.

"Zoey? I thought you were in the bathroom. You tricked me!" Steve was shocked.

"(Laughs) I fooled you buddy! (Kisses him) Sorry about that. I can't eat chili. My stomach gives me no-nos. Anyways, I asked you to wait outside the bathroom because I have a surprise for you" Zoey said.

"Really, what is it?" Steve wondered.

"Close your eyes" Zoey demanded as Steve complied and Zoey went inside the bathroom.

"Can I open them now?" Steve asked.

"Now you can" Zoey said as she emerged from the bathroom, wearing a tube top, floral skirt, and black heels. Steve is blushing like crazy.

"You love my new outfit?" Zoey asked in a seductive tone as she models her outfit.

"I do!" Steve cheered as he made out with his girlfriend nonstop.

"Hey! Nerds aren't supposed to make out with bimbos!" Vince Chung appeared with his popular friends as they laugh at them. "Get them!" he shouted as Zoey lift up her skirt, revealing her pink panties. The bullies turned into ice after seeing her underwear.

"That will teach them not to mess with us" Zoey said.

"Crap! I can't...you know...look under it?" Steve asked.

"Relax, I bought bully undies: the newest product that prevents being beaten up or raped. It's very ideal!" Zoey explained.

"Nice! Does it scan who's evil and who's not?" Steve asked.

"It does, but don't worry, you won't get hurt or frozen. Have a quick look" Zoey explained as she lifts her skirt for a bit for Steve to look.

"Okay thanks beautiful" Steve kisses her after Zoey adjusts her skirt back to normal and the two walk off, holding hands.

Principal Lewis arrives.

"Oh no frozen bullies, now what?" he thought for a moment as he...took the icy index finger of Vince Chung and puts it in a glass of soda.

"Excellent!" he cheered as he left.

Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff are playing peek-a-boo with baby Mary on the living room.

"Babe, I wish I was a baby girl" Jeff wondered.

"Jeff, you're a guy. I'm sorry but it can't happen at all" Hayley explained. "Although sometimes inside me tells me that I want to be a guy" she added.

"Well at least we still have a baby" Jeff added with a smile. He takes out a rattle and gives it to Mary, who smiles and she shakes her toy.

Steve arrives home.

"Hi guys" he said.

"Hi Steve, how was your day?" Hayley asked.

"Wonderful sis; in fact, I think I want to be a girl" Steve said.

"You want to be Stacy again?" Jeff wondered.

"It was fun and I enjoy wearing panties" Steve answered as Hayley and Jeff look at him all weird as Mary chews on a block.

"I do" Steve rebutted.

"You're one weird brother. I hate to say this but you can't go to the CIA. Dad said some wand has unexpectedly appeared and the agents are doing some research" Hayley said.

Meanwhile, the members of the CIA are looking inside on what the wand really is.

"Any luck?" Stan asked.

"Nope; I'm telling you, it's just a toy" Dick argued.

"Well what kind of toy has ancient writing on the sides, huh?" Stan wondered. "Bullock, I'm sorry but there's no luck. I guess it is a toy after all. You should send it to a toy drive or something" he suggested as he gave his boss the wand.

"It's okay guys; thanks for your help" Bullock announced as everyone resumed their normal duties.

Hours later, Bullock throws the wand into the trash. However, the trash bin falls over and the wand flies away. It lands at Steve's room. Steve is busy chatting with Zoey on Facebook.

"I didn't know you can poke. This is so funny" Steve laughed as he sees something landing on his bed.

"Hey Zoey I have to go to sleep; it's late already. I'll see you tomorrow babe" he shuts off his computer as he sees the wand.

"What's this? Is this some sort of Harry Potter wand?" Steve wondered as he looks at the writing.

" _Touch me once; only once: turn the opposite of sex; I mean gender sex: you and three friends will be suffered; I like suffered_ " Steve reads the code out loud. "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. They just wrote this just so they can make money, like those annoying telemarketers. Oh well, I thinks it's a bunch of baloney" he told himself as he falls asleep.

"What could go wrong?" he asked himself.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

The next morning, Stan and Francine left the household to go visit Mama and Baba while taking baby Mary. Klaus and Roger joined with them. Suddenly, a girl with long brunette hair woke up and she puts on her glasses.

"What happened? I had this strange dream that I became a sexy hot girl" s/he said in a girly voice, aka played by Jennie Kwan.

"(Screams) I'm...a guy!" Hayley shouted, off-screen. "My sexy girls are gone! No!" s/he cried as s/he lifts up her tank top, revealing a man's chest with abs. "What the hell happen to my voice? I sound like the American Dragon!" (A/E the male counterpart of Hayley is voiced by Dante Brisco.)

"Hayley, is that you?" 'Steve' asked.

"Steve, did you turn into a girl?" 'Hayley' wondered as s/he arrived at his/her little brother's/sister's room.

"Since when did you have a moustache and muscles?" 'Steve' wondered.

"Since when did you become a hot supermodel?" 'Hayley wondered as well.

"Oh no, this is bad. This is so not good at all. If mom and dad or anyone finds out, we're screwed for the rest of our lives. Besides, I didn't even go to the CIA, I promise"

"I can tell because the last time you played a girl, you still have that manly voice"

"I hope Jeff and Zoey aren't affected!"

" _Woohoo, I'm a sexy girl! Thank you God!_ " 'Jeff' cheered, off-screen. It is a female version of Jeff with longer dark blonde hair, red lips, and good amount of cleavage. Jeff's voice is changed into a girl played by Amanda Bynes.

"Jeff, you're a girl now?" 'Hayley' asked.

"It's the best day ever. My wish came true! There is a God!" 'Jeff cheered more.

(Phone rings)

"Hello?" 'Steve' answered his/her phone.

"Steven Anita Smith, if that's still your name, I'm a dude! A dude! A manly dude!" the scene shifts to Zoey's room, where she is suddenly turned into a guy. Her boobs are gone and she has a lot of hair on her legs. The male version of Zoey is voiced by Jack Desena, by the way.

"Are you upset?" 'Steve' asked.

"No, I'm sad. I don't think I'm going to like this. What will my parents think of this? Oh wait, they went on vacation. Steve, I need you to fix this!" 'Zoey' cried.

Meanwhile, 'Steve', 'Hayley', 'Jeff', and 'Zoey' all met up at the Smith living room.

"Thank goodness mom and dad took my baby to visit my grandparents. That leaves us lots of time to turn things back around. Does anyone have a suggestion?" 'Hayley' wondered.

"What we can do is change our names. That way, nobody will confuse us. For now, you guys can call me Stacy" 'Steve' suggested.

"Call me Bailey" 'Hayley' added.

"I could be Zeke" 'Zoey said.

"I guess Jenna will do" 'Jeff' settled.

"All right we'll stay like this until we find a way to fix this. For now, let's do some fun yeah?" Stacy suggested.

Later, Stacy and Jenna do some shopping at the mall while Zeke and Bailey play violent video games at the arcade.

"Thank God I'm a gamer!" Zeke cheered.

"Yeah, we guys rule!" Bailey shouted as well.

Stacy and Jenna model in lingerie. Stacy tried on white bra and panties while Jenna had black lingerie.

"Oh my God, I can see why you enjoy wearing lingerie Stacy! Don't I look gorgeous?" Jenna asked in a seductive tone.

"Yes but I'm already taken. Keep in mind that we're acting like…" Stacy was interrupted.

"…ladies not whores; we heard that phrase like a trillion times already" Jenna complained.

"I was going to say appropriate ladies so that none of us think we're whores, but now that you mention it" Stacy said as she puts on a red tank top and blue jean skirt with white heels. Jenna puts on a green blouse, jean shorts, and red sandals with a sunhat.

Meanwhile, Zeke and Bailey visit Calvin Klein, modeling on boxer briefs.

"I am not comfortable with this! I miss wearing panties" Zeke complained.

"Quit whining Zeke! Besides, Steve I mean Stacy will understand how we feel when we wear guys' undies" Bailey snapped as the guys redressed.

Later, the four friends are eating burgers at a food court. They were enjoying their meal until…

"Oh crap!" Stacy shouted.

"What's wrong?" Bailey wondered.

"Look who's there" Stacy said as she pointed at Toshi, Snot, and Barry.

"Oh no, if they find out how we turn into the opposite sex, we're (bleep)-ed!" Zeke cursed.

"I usually don't swear a lot" Stacy added but they look at her all weird. "Okay I do, but that's only when I'm angry!" she crosses her arms.

"Barry look, Steve and his friends are transvestites! This is the best day ever!" Snot cheered.

"Snot, that's not nice! We should appreciate them for being so brave to changing their sex" Barry added.

"私は、何が起こっているのかわかりません (I don't know what's going on?)" Toshi wondered.

"Toshi, my Japanese pal: Steve and his friends are different. We should tell everyone and that will be funny. I want a girlfriend and I want one now!" Snot demanded.

"Good luck my friend, but first I want pizza" Barry suggested as they got some pizza.

They are not noticed that Stacy, Bailey, Jenna, and Zeke were watching over them.

"Guys, we need to get out of here! Snot thinks we're transvestites! Nobody should know about this. If they find out, we're doomed!" Stacy shouted.

"Where should we go?" Bailey suggested.

"Somewhere but here; let's go" Jenna added.

"Come on then, let's get out of here" Zeke agreed as the four friends left the food court.

"The hunt to some weird looking teens and adults is on now!" Snot cheered.

"Snot, are you going to eat that slice?" Barry asked as Snot gave him his slice.

"Soon my friend, very, very soon" Snot whispered.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

The four friends arrive at the Smith household. They are sitting on the couch, wondering what to do so that Snot, Barry, and Toshi won't catch them.

"Guys, what are we going to do? We can't stay like this" Jenna wondered.

"Guys, I hate to say this but I think something must have happened. Come with me" Stacy suggested as they walked up to her room.

"Look, it's a wand" Zeke said.

"Not just any wand: it's from Hogwarts. Are you going to Hogwarts Stacy? If so, can I come?" Zeke asked.

"Guys, it's not a wand from Harry Potter. I just read something and then it suddenly changed us for good" Stacy said.

"Did it turn us into girls or guys? If so, the wand is my MVP!" Jenna cheered.

"Jeff, I mean Jenna, that's not funny!" Bailey snapped.

"We should take it to the CIA" Stacy suggested.

"We can't do that. They're going to find out about it" Zeke refused.

"Unless you want to stay like this, we don't have much of a choice" Bailey argued.

"Can't I take one sexy photo of me in lingerie before we change back?" Jenna suggested.

"Nope, nice try" Bailey said no.

"Fine" Jenna sighed in defeat.

Later, they visit the CIA. They searched for Bullock.

"I hope my dad's boss could be lenient. I really hope he doesn't tell on us" Stacy said as they try to find him.

"What's going on here?" Bullock appeared.

"Sir, we're just a bunch of high school students, looking in…for careers in the CIA. Yeah, that's why we're here!" Jenna cheered as everyone glared at him.

"Steve and Hayley, is that you?" Bullock asked.

"Okay sir, it's us! We turned into the opposite sex last night. Our parents are gone and if they find out we're screwed! Please turn us back to the normal sex!" Bailey begged.

"Wait a minute, is that the same wand? You mind if I took a look at it?" Bullock asked as Zeke gave him the wand.

"Oh my God, it's a gender swap wand. We have been doing research for such a long time. You guys are awesome for finding this! Okay I know how this works. First come with me" Bullock suggested as they went inside a lab. Later, they were stripped, but had their private parts wrapped with medical tape.

"Perfect, now go inside and wait for a couple of seconds and boom, you're back to normal" Bullock said as he turned on a machine and the heroes go inside a hut and it releases a gas.

Moments later, Steve, Hayley, Zoey, and Jeff are back to normal.

"We're back! We did it! Thank you sir" Steve cheered as they hug Stan's boss.

"Whoa! I'm just happy to not give Stan a one month paid vacation! I should be thanking you" Bullock said. "Well take care kiddies; I have a puppet show to make. You're more than welcome to join" he added.

"We got to go. Bye!" Hayley said as they left.

As they left the CIA, Barry, Toshi, and Snot arrived.

"Guys, what are you doing here?" Steve asked.

"Hey Steve, so how was life like being a hot girl?" Snot wondered.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Steve argued.

"Come on Steve, we saw you become transvestites. Tell us or else" Barry demanded.

"Don't make me show my underwear" Zoey threatened.

"Drop your pants down. We want to see what color undies you have" Snot demanded as Zoey complies, revealing her white panties. However, it caused Snot, Barry, and Toshi to freeze after they saw her underwear.

"You're welcome!" Zoey exclaimed as she pulled her pants up.

"Will they stay frozen forever?" Steve wondered.

"Oh shit!" Zoey shouted as we see Vince Chung and his friends melted and back to normal as they are still stuck inside school.

"What the hell was that? I don't remember what happened. Why are we still at school?" Vince wondered.

Later, they arrive back at the Smith household.

"Pretty much if anyone threatened to hurt us, my undies will stop them and freeze them and erase their memories from the past 48 hours" Zoey explained.

"Who invented that stuff?" Hayley wondered.

"My dad, but he said that the two pairs he gave me are trial versions. He says that they will be ready when they are for the public" Zoey answered.

"I'll need some one day" Hayley suggested.

"Nice one babe!" Jeff cheered.

"I hope none of us will remember any of this stuff" Steve said.

A few days later, Stan is carrying some stuff and putting it in a boat.

"Hi dad, what are you doing here?' Steve wondered as he, Hayley (with baby Mary), Jeff, and Zoey appeared.

"Hi son, I heard something about a wand turning guys into girls and girls into guys. You know anything about it?" Stan asked.

"Uh no why?" Steve asked.

"No reason, but I need to take any gender transformation items and ship them away so that nothing will happen to anyone" Stan explained.

"I am going to miss being Stacy though" Steve said as the wand and the sex-changing pills are being shipped away by the CIA.

"I'm sorry son. I know how much you wanted to be a girl, but we had to do the right thing. Besides, I rather have at least one son over two daughters" Stan said.

"It's all right dad. It was fun while it lasted" Steve said.

"I'm glad too dad. Or else Mary would not be very happy. Isn't that right, my precious angel?" Hayley playfully cooed her daughter while holding her as she was yawning.

"Mr. S, where do you think the sex changing stuff will land?" Jeff wondered.

"Somewhere that will be out of reach son-in-law" Stan answered.

"I'm glad that my Steve will stay Steve forever, although I will miss Stacy. Will we see her again?" Zoey asked.

"Maybe" Steve added.

" _And so our heroes went back to their normal sex and they lived happily ever after. The end_ " Jack Desena narrated as he closed a book as the scene shifts to live action.

 **Credits Scene**

"Well ladies and gentlemen, I hoped that you enjoyed today's show. It comes to show you that cartoon girls are hotter than cartoon guys. Why? They're powerful, that's why. Well we have 30 seconds left. Watch me play around with my boomerang" Jack suggested as he takes out his boomerang and he throws it around.

"All right; I still got it! Oh no!" the boomerang returns and goes directly at Jack's face, but the scene turns to black.

 **End of Credits Scene**

 **End of Act 3**


	8. The Fault in Those Damn Stars

**I do not own** _ **American Dad!**_ **I only own my OC Zoey Wilson.**

 **Opening Act**

 **BREAKING NEWS**

"Local news today, there is a heat wave attacking Langley Falls tonight. I advise you guys to use fans only. Last time the city suffered from a blackout for two whole weeks. We don't want that again" Greg announced.

"That's interesting Terry because we happen to wear our swimsuits today!" Terry cheered as they wore blue swimsuits in place of their dress pants and they strip off their shirts and they go swimming on the beach.

"Oh what the hey too?" the cameraman strips naked as he goes swimming with Greg and Terry. (A/E His privates are blurred.)

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene starts off with a newspaper in front of the Smith household. It reads "Heat Wave to break record today with 110 degrees". The letters of the ink melt.

Inside, we see Steve waking up in his bed, clad in white briefs.

"It's so hot in here! If only Dad would simply turn on the air conditioner" he said.

Stan is also woken up while wearing white briefs.

"Francine, where are you?" he asked while standing up.

"Behind you Stan" Francine said as she is stuck behind her husband, clad in her pink nightie.

Inside Hayley's room, Jeff is also waking up in white briefs as well.

"Babe, where are you?" he said while standing up.

"I'm behind you babe" Hayley is stuck behind her husband's back as well, clad in white bra and panties.

(Crying)

They get free as they saw baby Mary crying while wearing only her diaper.

"My God, it's so hot in here! My dad says that air conditioning will triple our energy bill. Shaking my head" Hayley complains as she comforts her sobbing baby girl.

Klaus and Roger are...doing just fine.

"Thank God we're immune to heat waves Roger!" the goldfish cheered as they are hanging out at Roger's attic.

"I am never cold or hot! How do you like them apples?" the alien asked as he sliced some apples.

At the Wilsons household, Zoey is woken up, while wearing her pink pajamas and covered with blankets.

"Thank God my daddy has the strongest air conditioning ever!" she cheered.

Later, the Smiths are dressed in their normal outfits as they sit in front of a fan as it spins around.

"Guys, we need to do something fun. We can't go to the beach because of a lot of shootings going on" Stan suggested.

"Dad, let's go buy an air conditioner. I'm sure there are some that are energy efficient" Hayley thought.

"Hayley I'm sorry, but those things drain our income. We can't do that" Stan refused.

"Well maybe we can beg Zoey if we can chill out at her house" Steve suggested.

"Son, I will not make Michael be better than me. Nice try. Grr I don't like you guys, let's go. We're going to Steve's girlfriend's house" Stan announced as the rest of the family cheered and left.

Later, they arrive in front of the house, but Zoey and her parents are packing stuff in their car.

"Hi Zoey, where are you guys going?" Steve asked.

"Hi Steve, we're going to Richmond to spend the weekend. It's going to be so much fun" Zoey answered.

"Hi Stanford, would you like to come with us?" Zoey's dad suggested.

"Don't ever call me Stanford, but yes! Will it keep us cool?" Stan asked.

"Will yes convince you guys to come?" Zoey's mom asked back.

"Yes!" Stan cheered.

"All right, here's the direction to get there. I have complimentary passes for you guys to get in. Pack some stuff and we'll see you there" Mr. Wilson said as he and his family got inside the car and left.

Moments later, as the Smiths finished packing and drove off; they arrived at the destination where Zoey and her parents will be.

"Welcome to the Richmond Country Club. Do you have the passes?" a butler in a black suit asked.

"Here you go" Stan said as he shows him the passes and they enter inside. There was a golf course, pool, hot tub, buffet, arcade, and many buildings with air conditioning.

"Is this paradise?!" Roger cheered. He is disguised as a lady with blonde wig and purple dress with matching heels.

"Yes it is. I wonder how Zoey and her family got here" Steve wondered.

"Hi everybody! I brought all of you some fruit punch" Zoey arrived while carrying a tray with cups of fruit punch with ice as each Smith took one. Her parents join with her.

"Thank you so much for inviting us here Zoey. I am so glad to have an exciting weekend" Steve said.

"Anytime babe; I'm happy to help you guys" Zoey added with a smile.

"Well you kids go have fun. The rest of us will hang out at the pool. Smell you later" Stan said as he and the rest of the Smiths and Zoey's parents left the scene.

"Hey, who are they?" Steve asked as they saw a couple holding hands while carrying golf equipment. There was a girl with long blonde hair wearing a white blouse, matching skort, tennis shoes, and a cap. The guy also had blonde hair, but is wearing a gray polo and capri shorts with black sneakers.

"We can go say hi if you want" Zoey suggested as she and Steve approached them.

"Hi guys, I'm Steve and this is my girlfriend Zoey" Steve introduced.

"I'm Samuel and this is my longtime girl pal Zelda" Samuel introduced himself. (A/E He is voiced by Ansel Elgort.)

"Nice to meet you all" Zelda said. (A/E She is voiced by Shailene Woodley.)

"Are you guys here to golf?" Zoey wondered.

"Yeah but we don't golf with losers!" Samuel taunted.

"What did you just say to us?!" Steve shouted.

"Oh relax, he talks like this all the time. It's his bad habit" Zelda explained.

"A bad habit that needs a knuckle sandwich!" Steve fists his hand as Zoey tries to control him.

"Get a hold of yourself, babe" she pleaded.

"Show us your golfing skills and you can play with us" Samuel suggested.

"I like where this is going" Steve agreed with the idea.

"Great, I'll see you guys later" Zelda said as she and her friend left.

"Steve, have you played golf?" Zoey asked.

"What? I thought you already know" Steve answered.

"I only see old people playing golf, but I never played it" Zoey confessed.

"Don't worry. It won't be too hard" Steve said.

"Hey guys, you want to come skinny dipping with us? Your moms are taking off their bikinis already!" Roger cheered as he appeared from out of nowhere.

"Not no Roger" Steve snapped.

"Oh man, I had them" the alien left them alone.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Steve and Zoey are at the arcade, playing _Ultimate Marvel versus Capcom_.

"What do they have against us?" Steve wondered as his Iron Man attacks his girlfriend's Jill Valentine.

"I don't know. I'm guessing they're scared!" Zoey shouted.

"I wonder why. Okay let's not get carried away. Are you sure you never played golf before?" Steve asked.

"I am very sure babe. Besides, it's kind of boring, don't you think?" Zoey asked back.

"We can try, but don't expect us to be pros the first time" Steve suggested.

"Okay that's not a bad idea. By the way, I kicked your ass again!" Zoey cheered as she beat him in the fighting video game.

"Never again" Steve laughs.

Meanwhile, they arrive at a golf course, carrying equipment.

"Okay Zoey, I'm no Tiger Woods but the first rule of golfing..." Steve is interrupted.

"...is not to mention the rules of golfing" Zoey answered.

"We need to stop watching Brad Pitt movies" Steve snapped.

"I'm sorry. I'll be good" Zoey said.

"Hey guys, whatcha doing?" Samuel and Zelda arrive.

"We're going to practice golf. That's what we're doing" Steve answered.

"Are you guys done (bleep)-ing already?" Zoey asked.

"Excuse me?!" Zelda screamed.

"Sorry, my girlfriend has Tourette's" Steve explained as his girlfriend glared at him.

Meanwhile, Stan and Michael are sitting next to each other in beach chairs. They see their wives swimming.

"Doesn't my wife look hot in her pink bikini?" Mr. Wilson asked.

"Yeah but nothing beats my wife and that gorgeous green bikini" Stan rebutted.

"I'm sorry but your wife is way too old to be hot" Michael argued.

"Excuse me? Your wife is way too young to be hot" Stan snapped.

"My wife is 38 years old" Michael rebutted.

"What?! How the hell can she have a 17 year old daughter and she's not even 40?!" Stan shouted.

"I'm not even 40 either sir. I'm 39" Michael added.

"My God, maybe you're right. Why don't we have a wife-off?" Stan suggested.

"What's that?" Michael asked.

"It's a simple drinking contest. Whoever's wife survives is the hotter wife" Stan explained.

"You're on sir" Michael agreed as he shook hands with Stan.

Later, Steve and Zoey are practicing hitting golf balls.

"Okay remember, not too hard and not too soft" Zoey explained.

"Like this?" Steve asked as he struck the golf ball, only to land in a bowl of punch at the buffet.

"Watch me" Zoey explains as she hits the golf ball with her club and it is 2 inches shy of the hole.

"Nice job babe" Steve complimented.

"Thanks, I haven't played but I watched them play" Zoey said with a smile.

"Hey guys, what are you doing here?" Roger said as he appeared.

"Roger, we're golfing right now. Do you mind?" Steve asked.

"Not at all Steven; hey everybody, there's a golf match going on" the alien announced as a bunch of people showed up.

"What the hell Roger? This is a private practice, not a competition" Steve argued.

"Oh relax Steven, I'm just here to say have fun" Roger explained.

The couple continues to do their golfing. However, they continue to get worse as they struck the ball. We see the golf balls land in various areas, just as the pool, the desserts section at the buffet, the roof of the Smiths' SUV, and at the busy streets.

"(Laughs) Steve sucks so much, just like his girlfriend!" Roger taunted as Steve chases after him, but Zoey stops him.

"Don't listen to him. He can't golf either. He's too busy crying to his mama every night" Zoey told her boyfriend.

"This is for you Roger!" Steve swings at the golf ball as it goes extremely far.

"I wonder where it will land" he wondered.

Meanwhile, a clown is entertaining little kids.

"Simon says: touch your head" he said as the kids did what he told them.

"Simon says: shake your hips" he gives out another instruction.

"Simon says: OWW! MY BALLS!" he cried in pain as the golf ball hits his nards.

"OWW! MY BALLS!" the kids mimicked as well.

The scene shifts back to the gold course.

"Well that answered my question (laughs)" Steve told himself.

"Man you guys suck! Hey everybody look, Steve and Zoey are the New York Knicks of golfing" Samuel taunted as he and his friend show up.

(Audience laughing)

Steve grinds his teeth and it looks like he wants to beat him up.

"Steve stop; you're going to get kicked out" Zoey pleaded.

"Hey guys, we're just practicing on how not to suck like you guys!" Steve taunted.

(Audience oohing)

"You think you're funny Steven?" Samuel asked.

"Sammy please" Zelda begged.

"Let's make things a little interesting. If you guys win, we'll wear any stupid costume you want us to wear for the rest of the day" Steve suggested.

"If you win, only if, in which it won't happen, we will…buy you guys cheeseburgers" Samuel suggested.

"You're on" Steve said as the two guys shake each other's hand.

"Show's over folks" Zelda said as people started leaving and she and Samuel left also.

"Steve, do you know what you're doing?" Zoey asked.

"Not at all, I'm so sorry. I understand if you want to dump me if we lose. I'm willing to take the risk" Steve cried.

"Don't worry about it. We'll figure something out" Zoey said.

"Hey guys come quickly; yo mamas are going to battle each other to see who the hottest mom is ever!" Roger said as he reappeared.

"Sure Roger but first…" Steve said as he kicked the alien in the nards.

"OWW! What did I do wrong? I just wanted to bring laughs to these fine innocent people! I don't deserve any of this!" Roger cried.

"Are you done?" Zoey asked.

"Yes" the alien answered as Zoey kicked him in the nards too.

"Not you two, you stupid bitch! You guys owe me new testicles! I'm serious!" Roger whined in severe pain.

"Once you stop flopping, you can join us later" Steve said as he and his girlfriend left him in pain.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Francine and Kat are about to drink so many shots.

"Kick her ass Francine!" Stan cheered.

"You got this Kat! Remember how drunk you got at your bachelorette party!" Michael cheered as well.

The ladies each took one shot.

(Audience cheering)

They kept on drinking and drinking.

"My body is hotter than yours!" Kat argued.

"My body is hotter than yours!" Francine mimicked.

"Show her who's boss Franny!" Stan cheered.

"Don't listen to them Katty" Michael encouraged.

"Let's get out of here and practice" Zoey suggested as she and Steve left.

Francine suddenly vomits.

(Audience groaning)

"Kat win!" Michael cheered but his wife pukes on her husband's chest.

(Audience roaring)

"I lost the battle but won the war!" Stan cheered as Zoey's parents left to go clean up.

After a few hours of practice, Steve and Zoey encounter Samuel and Zelda.

"Are you guys ready to get your asses kicked?" Steve taunted.

"I know you are, but what are we?" Samuel taunted.

"Sammy, knock it off please" Zelda pleaded.

"All right, let's not waste any time and start some golfing" Zoey said as they set up for their match against each other.

"I want those juicy cheeseburgers!" Steve demanded.

"We will, trust me" Zoey explained.

Later, Francine and Kat are wearing robes while crossing their arms and glaring at their husbands.

"What…the (bleep)…was this?!" Francine shouted.

"Why did you make us compete against each other? We're good friends!" Kat snapped.

"I'm sorry Francine. I wanted to show you that you're still one hot lady, despite your age difference with Kat. I know it's wrong to make you do this but deep down, I really care about you" Stan apologized.

"I'm sorry too Kat. I want to show him that age was only a number. I hope you can forgive me" Michael apologized as well.

"We forgive you" Francine and Kat accepted their husbands' apologies.

"Thanks you guys, but who is the hottest wife ever?" Stan wondered.

"That will be my wife, Mr. S" Jeff said as he and Hayley walk up, wearing swimsuits as Hayley is holding her daughter. Hayley has a purple bikini and Jeff has blue swim trunks. Baby Mary is wearing only her diaper.

"No fair, she's not even 25!" Stan argued.

"Why don't we call this a draw and we'll get drunk together?" Michael suggested.

"I like where this is going" Stan said as the gentlemen left.

Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey and Samuel and Zelda are head to head with each other in front of a group of people. The game is very close. Steve and Zoey have each golf ball one inch away from going inside the hole. Samuel and Zelda only have a quarter of an inch away from going in the hole.

"This is it ladies and gentlemen, if Samuel and Zelda each make it inside, they will win this match. Samuel will take the shot...and it goes far away from the hole" the commentator said.

(Audience groaning)

"It's Zelda's turn...and she misses the hole too" the commentator added.

(Audience groaning)

"They choked! They choked! Steve and Zoey will need to convert the balls inside the holes and they'll win" the commentator said.

"This is it" Steve slightly hits the ball...and it barely goes inside the hole.

(Audience cheering)

"Steven did it! Should Zoey miss, Samuel and Zelda will have another chance to win the game" the commentator said.

"All up to me now" Zoey said as she slightly hits the ball...but the wind pushed the ball to aside, yet it ricochets back to the hole and went inside.

(Audience cheering)

"Congratulations to Steve and Zoey. They will win their cheeseburgers. If you guys don't mind, I need to do the m-word!" the commentator cheered as he turned off the microphone."We won! Zoey, we did it!" Steve cheered as he grabs his girlfriend and spins her around.

(Audience cheering)

"I am so proud of you darling!" Zoey exclaimed as she kisses him on the lips.

"Well you guys, what can I say? You proved us wrong" Samuel said as he offered a handshake.

"Thanks man" Steve shakes his hand.

"You guys don't suck after all. If you ever want to play again, give us a call" Zelda said as she gives them their business card.

"Take care, you guys!" Steve waved as the couple left. He and his girlfriend walk away.

"Wait, what about our cheeseburgers?" Steve asked as Zelda gave him and Zoey the two cheeseburgers they promised. The couple consumes them.

"Man these are good" Zoey said.

"They are babe" Steve said as the two kiss after eating.

The next day, the Smiths and the Wilsons are packing up to go back home.

"Will we ever come here again someday?" Steve asked.

"Son, as long as Mr. Wilson think it's okay, we are definitely coming back. In the meantime, who wants to go pick out an air conditioner?" Stan suggested as the Smith family cheered.

"Dad, may I ride with Zoey at her car please?" Steve begged as Stan nodded and he went inside his girlfriend's car.

"Hi Steve, I'm so glad you could join me. What a day, huh?" Zoey asked.

"It was a lot of fun. I realized they sound familiar. It's like they appeared in one movie as a couple and another as brother and sister. Weird huh?" Steve wondered as he broke the fourth wall.

"I'm sure they're somewhere" Zoey laughed.

(Credits roll)

"You know Zoey? I never noticed how much golf was that hard" Steve said.

"I guess we can consider ourselves to be a power couple" Zoey said.

"Let's not get carried away with that (laughs)" Steve chuckled.

"Steve, remember that one ball you hit so hard? I wonder where it landed" Zoey wondered as we see the golf ball landing at...the inside of Cleveland's house through the roof.

"Hey Donna look, it's a present from outer space!" Cleveland cheered as he picked up the golf ball.

(Crashing sound)

"NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!" Cleveland Jr. falls on the grass in his tub.

"(Laughs) in your face pen!" Cleveland cackled.

 **End of Act 3**

 **There you have it ladies and gentlemen. In the weeks to come, there will be one where I will create my version of "Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses", a story episode involving my version of the episode of** _ **The Simpsons**_ **where they go to the Super Bowl, welcoming a new OC, a Wheels and the Legman episode, a two-part episode, and more to come. See you next week folks.**


	9. Announcing the Risqué Admirers

**I do not own** _ **American Dad,**_ **or the lyrics to a classic cartoon.**

 **Opening Act**

"Guys I have some bad news. I did not plan an opening act sketch for you guys. I'm deeply sorry. Instead, we'll show you past clips with the parody of the theme song from _Duck Tales._ Enjoy" I appear on screen.

The scene shifts to various clips of _American Dad_.

 _Life is like a hurricane because it's long and hard_

 _Race cars, weapons, aliens, what a dumb herd_

 _Might solve a mystery_

 _Or rewrite this dumb story_

 _American Dad! Woo-oo!_

 _Everyday this show's getting better_

 _American Dad! Woo-oo!_

 _Tales of daring do better and nothing rhymes with better_

 _American Dad!_

 _D-d-d-danger! Watch behind you!_

 _There's a stranger out to find you_

 _What to do, just grab on to some..._

 _American Dad! Woo-oo!_

 _Everyday this show is getting better_

 _American Dad! Woo-oo!_

 _Tales of daring do better and nothing rhymes with better_

 _American Dad!_

 _Not pony tales or Brony tales, no,_

 _American Dad! Woo-oo!_

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at a local gym called Langley Falls Workout Gym. Steve and Zoey are sitting at a juice bar. Both of them are wearing workout clothes.

"Gee Zoey, I can't believe you ran for one full hour nonstop" Steve said.

"Thanks babe; that's the benefit of joining the soccer team. We do a ton of running and it's nothing special" Zoey added.

"I wish we can do something more fun with our relationship" Steve wondered.

"What do you have in mind?" Zoey asked. However, they encounter a group of hot cheerleaders with a guy walking inside a gym. There was a girl who was a brunette, a girl with long pink hair, a girl with short red hair, and a girl with long blonde hair. The guy had short black hair.

"Who are they?" Steve wondered.

"Let's go find out" Zoey answered as they approached the cheerleaders and their male friend.

"Hi, I'm Zoey and this is my boyfriend Steve. Who are you guys?" Zoey introduced.

"Oh hello, we would introduce ourselves but we'll take forever" the guy said. He is voiced by Brian Donovan.

"I don't mind" Steve added.

"Okay then, allow us to introduce ourselves. My name is Sally" the girl with the brunette haircut said as she posed. The intros are similar to the ones from " **Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses".** A fancy limo drives by and it reads "maintains a 5.0 GPA". (A/E She is voiced by Colleen Villard).

"My name is Marie" the girl with the long pink hair said. The same limo appears, but this time it reads "has an older brother who she beat in arm wrestling". Her voice actress is Philece Sampler.

"My name is Kelly" the girl with the short red hair said. The limo now reads "thinks Seth MacFarlane can go suck an egg". She is voiced by Lara Jill Miller.

"My name is Yesenia" the last girl with the long blonde hair said. The limo reads "sorry, I can't think of anything right now, all the good quotes and facts are way too similar, plus pen wants to fulfill the 3000 word limit". Her voice actress is Tifanie Christun. "And together we are…"

"THE RISQUÉ ADMIRERS!" all the cheerleaders cheered and posed with the motto.

"I like the sounds of that!" Steve blinks at the audience with his left eye as it lights a gold shine.

"Steve, you have a piece of gold on your eye" Zoey said as Steve leaves in pain while screaming.

"Hey ladies, you forget about me. I'm David, the leader of the Risqué Admirers" the guy said.

"What do you guys do?" Zoey asked.

"That's for me to know and you to find out" Sally said.

"You're wearing a cheerleading uniform. You must be cheerleaders then" Zoey said.

"Fine you win" Marie snapped. "Want to join us?"

"I guess" Zoey answered.

"Trust me; your boyfriend will love you ten times" David added.

Meanwhile, at the Smith household, Jeff is walking around in a circle while holding a piece of paper.

"Jeff, what are you doing?" Hayley asked as she is holding baby Mary in her arms.

"Babe, I have to attend this stupid mandatory talk about public health. It's so boring. I don't want to hear people talk about crap nobody gives a damn" Jeff answered.

"Jeff it sounds like fun. Maybe you can convince them that pot isn't as dangerous as it seems" his wife added.

"Babe, I got to let you know on a secret. I'm afraid of public speaking" he said.

"What are you talking about?" Hayley asked.

"Ever since I was a little boy, it was like a living hell to me" Jeff recalled.

 **Flashback**

We see a six-year-old Jeff doing a book report in front of his first grade class.

"Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her turds and gray" Jeff announced but everyone started laughing out loud.

"Oh no I messed up. No, my mom bought me those pants" he cried as he wets himself and runs away from the class"

 **Flashback Ends**

"(Laughs) I'm sorry. I just thought the story was cute" Hayley said.

"Babe what am I going to do? If I don't go, I'm going to keep getting these stupid reminders until I gave in" Jeff wondered.

"Excuse me, but do I hear someone who's afraid to talk to people in public?" it was…Roger disguised as Dr. Penguin.

"Dr. Penguin, what are you doing here?" Hayley asked.

"Well Jeffrey, it seems that you have stage fright" Roger said.

"That's not true, okay maybe I do" Jeff surrendered.

"Come to my office in an hour and I'll help you out. Right now I'm helping a kid who got a Texas wedgie from his dad" Roger said as he left.

"What's a Texas wedgie?" Jeff wondered.

"Trust me, you don't want to know" Hayley said in a sad tone.

Meanwhile, Zoey is showing off her dance moves in front of Sally, Marie, Kelly, and Yesenia.

"Wow girl, I didn't think you have it in you" Sally complimented.

"Thanks, I do a lot of exercising a lot, so dancing isn't that hard for me. I wanted to be a cheerleader, but you know how busy I am" Zoey added.

"I'm sorry girl, but you have skills" Marie said with a smile.

"How is this going to make my relationship with Steve better?" Zoey wondered.

"Because we need you and your boyfriend's help to help solve a mystery. We're not just hot cheerleaders; we're also detectives" Yesenia said.

"Okay, like what mystery? Did someone cheat on you?" Zoey added.

"It's nothing like that. Although we have something like this and I don't know what it means" Kelly hands Zoey a piece of paper.

Zoey reads it out loud, " _If you are reading this, I will find them and destroy them once and for all. They have no business being better than everyone and everything thing else. I will find the stupid stars and destroy them once and for all! Sincerely, SB"_

"What stars is this person talking about?" she wondered.

"I don't know. I thought you know" Marie said.

"I'll ask Steve for help" Zoey added.

"Hey guys can I join?" it was…Tammy from _Bob's Burgers_.

"Sorry, no disgusting bitches allowed" Sally snapped.

"Screw you guys (farts), ouch my ass" Tammy leaves as she holds her butt as she continues to pass gas.

"(Sigh) somebody get the Febreze" Zoey ordered as she and the girls cover their noses.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Steve is working out at the Smith garage. He is doing some heavy weightlifting. Zoey is watching him

"Steve, do you know who SB is?" she asked.

"It's definitely not Snot or Barry or Toshi. I wish it was Vince though" he answered.

"You see Sally wants us to travel with them to figure out this mystery. I'm hoping your parents are okay with it" Zoey begged.

"I will but I'm going to need a plan though" Steve requested. "How did you convince your parents?"

 **Flashback**

"Mom, dad, I need to go somewhere. It will probably be day though" Zoey said.

"Is it a World Cup mystery?" Zoey's dad asked, off-screen.

"Maybe" she answered.

"Be safe honey" Zoey's mom said, off-screen.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Now it's my turn" Steve said.

Later, the Smith family and Jeff are eating dinner.

"Honey, I'm sorry but you can't go. I don't know where the location is or what the mystery is about…unless you take some snacks with you" Francine said.

"All right mom" Steve cheered.

"Son, why would you want to go if you don't know what, where, why, or when the mystery is about?" Stan wondered.

"That phrase isn't grammatically correct, but anyways, Zoey's got new friends who are willing to work with her. I heard something about the stars being killed" Steve answered.

"Are you guys going to Hollywood?" Hayley wondered.

"Honestly sis, I have no clue. I don't even know who SB is" Steve said.

"Well whatever happens, bring us back a souvenir honey" Francine said.

"Gee mom you're the only one excited about it" Hayley said.

"My little boy is all grown up" Francine answered.

"You think you can help me find a body there?" Klaus asked.

"Nice try fish" Steve said.

Later, Jeff is sitting on a therapy chair as Dr. Penguin is taking notes.

"You see doc, I wet my pants, my armpits, and the body when I talk to people in public. It's very scary" Jeff said.

"You see Jeffrey, public speaking is a lot like a box of chocolates because you can't tell what the hell is going on there" Roger said.

"That's a terrible usage to _Forrest Gump_ " Jeff snapped.

"Fine I suck at quotes, but anyways, Jeff you are better than this. You will march down to that talk and take it like a man. This is what you will need to do" Roger said as he…drops Jeff's pants down and put him on a diaper and he pulls his pants back up.

"I'm not a baby Roger!" Jeff shouted.

"There, now you can piss your pants while saying whatever the hell you want" Roger said.

"This is not going to work" Jeff said as he removed the diaper and throws it away. "Can't you just go there for me?" he suggested.

"You know what? I think I can help you with that" Roger said as he…took out a device that connects his throat and Jeff's throat.

(Drilling sounds)

"There, is that better?" Jeff (with Roger's voice) asked.

"It does! Oh man, I'm an alien. Not cool dude, but thanks" Roger (with Jeff's voice) said.

"I'll do the talking while you don't mess with my body" 'Jeff' said.

"You have my word" 'Roger' answered back. "Go have fun in the talk."

Meanwhile, Steve, Zoey, David, and the Risqué Admirers are flying inside a jet plane.

"How awesome is this? We're going on a trip. We need to find this SB guy and confront him once and for all!" Steve said.

"I'm glad you love our plane. This is a very special family plane we take and it's going to be fun" Sally said.

"Are we going to Hollywood?" Steve wondered.

"Only one way to find out" Marie said as the jet plane lands to the ground. The seven friends walk about, trying to figure out who wrote the letter. With not much luck, they resumed back to the plane.

"Okay it looks like celebrity stars aren't being in danger of being attack, but what does he mean when he said stars?" Steve wondered.

"The sky perhaps" David answered.

"David, there's like a million stars in the sky. There's no way that the mystery jerk would kill the sky. I find that hard to believe" Kelly said.

"Guys, I figured it out. His name…is Sean Benedict!" Yesenia announced.

"Let's go to Switzerland and finish this fool once and for all!" Steve shouted as the plane flies off.

Later, 'Roger' is watching TV in the living room. Hayley joins him.

"Hey dork of the sky, give me the remote" she demanded.

"Sure babe" 'Roger' answered.

"Did you just call me babe Roger? I'm married and you should know that already!" Hayley shouted. "Wait a minute, are you Jeff or Roger?"

"Babe it's me Jeff. Roger went to the talk for me. I can sit here and hang out with my beautiful wife" 'Roger' said.

"Or you can get the hell out of here and give me back my husband!" Hayley screamed.

"Yes ma'am" 'Roger' leaves.

Meanwhile, they arrive at Switzerland and they found the office of Sean Benedict.

"(Laughs) why would I do that? I don't have time to do that. When I meant stars, I mean the stars AND stripes" Sean Benedict said.

"Are you taking to attack our country? I'm going to tell my dad and have the CIA arrest your ass!" Steve threatened as he takes out his cell phone.

"Wait just a minute; I'm not going to attack a country. I want to attack…the United States men's soccer team" Sean responded.

"Why would you want to do that?" Zoey asked.

"You see the United States think that soccer is the least popular, yet many kids play that sport so many times. A lot of countries, especially the South American and Europeans, detest the yanks. Therefore, I'm doing them a huge favor and destroy the U.S. men's national team once and for all!" Sean announced.

"You're a monster!" Zoey cried.

"Oh and by the way, the women's national team will be dead too and there's nothing you can stop us! If you don't mind, I have a party to attend" Sean laughed as he left.

"Dad, where are you?" Steve calls on his phone.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

"Son, what seems to be the problem?" Stan answered the house phone.

"Dad, this guy named Sean Benedict is threatening to attack the United States men's soccer team because he thinks that the USA should never play soccer" Steve explained.

"What, you're telling me the leader of international football, I mean soccer, is trying to hurt our national team?" Stan freaked out. "Son, stay where you are, the CIA and I will be on out way" Stan said as he hangs up the phone.

"In the meantime, let's go to the party. I have fancy clothes for us to wear" Sally said.

Meanwhile, 'Jeff' attends the health talk.

"…and that is why we should limit the amount of salt we consume in order to lower high blood pressure. Any questions?" someone in front presented his talk.

"Okay is there anything that anyone would like to talk about?" he asked.

"I do" 'Jeff' said. "(Clears throat) I think marijuana should be legalized. In fact, what is most likely going to kill you, weed or cigarettes?" he asked.

"Weed!" everyone answered in unison.

"WRONG! What does weed actually do that will sent you to the hospital or to the graveyard? Nothing, that's why! Why are we spending so much cash on something that will cause lung cancer and sent us to the emergency room? Has anyone ever died from smoking pot? Is there any nicotine in it? That's right you fool, marijuana is okay! We just smell weird, but that's it. If you have a problem with that, go tell the rest of us hippies! Peace!" 'Jeff' leaves.

(Cheering)

"Good job man" 'Roger' cheered.

"I guess now I don't need to be afraid anymore" 'Jeff' said. "Wait a minute, I'm never afraid. All right, let's switch back to normal" 'Jeff' takes out the device and he and 'Roger' switch their voices back.

"Much better" Jeff said.

"Next time, don't ask for my help" Roger said.

"Watch this" Jeff said as he enters the conference room with a standing ovation.

"Thank you all, I'm here until Thursday!" Jeff announced. "Hippies rule!"

(Cheering)

"I made Jeff a show-off! That's my boy!" Roger cried in a cheerful tone.

Meanwhile, Steve, Zoey, David, and the Risqué Admirers attend a fancy party. The guys had black tuxedos and the girls had black short fancy dresses.

"Remember, if you see Sean Benedict, you know what to do" Sally instructed as they pretended to have a good time at the party.

"Gouda cheese, my favorite" Zoey said as she picks out the cheese with a cracker and eats it.

"There he is" Steve said as Sean Benedict was leaving for a moment.

"Let's follow him" he told his girlfriend as they left and followed him. However, a bunch of guards stopped them.

"Where do you think you're going?" one of them asked.

"Ladies!" Steve shouted as the Risqué Admirers attacked the guards with their cheerleading moves.

"Damn they're hot, but not as hot as my girlfriend!" Steve exclaimed as he and Zoey continue to find Sean.

They finally found him in his office, where he takes out a bunch of weapons and grenades.

"Oh hello children, you care to join me in bombing the national teams?" Sean asked.

" _LEAVE THEM ALONE BENEDICT! I KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!"_ Bullock shouted, off-screen. There were the helicopters from the CIA as Stan and Bullock arrived as the perfect scene of the crime.

"Never! I must fulfill my wish! Stop me or else!" Sean takes out a missile weapon, but Bullock snatched it away with a claw and breaks it.

"Damn it" Sean cursed, but he was slammed down by Stan.

"I know what's going on. Mr. Benedict, you are officially under arrest for attempted murder to the United States men's and women's national team! Bullock, take him away!" Stan instructed as his boss took the handcuffed president of international football and the rest of the CIA agents arrest his crew members as well.

"I knew you guys would save us! Thanks daddy!" Steve ran and hugged his dad.

"I'm just glad the United States men's and women's national teams are all right. The CIA will make sure nothing bad will ever happen to them ever again. Son, you should have told me this earlier, but you didn't know, so it's okay" Stan said.

"Thanks dad, can we go home now, along with taking some of our friends with us?" Steve wondered.

"Absolutely, but who are they?" Stan asked.

"Hello Mr. Smith, my name is David and these are my sisters: Sally, Marie, Kelly, and Yesenia" David announced. "We would do our intro, but there's not enough time."

"Hi kids, now everyone get inside the helicopters. I'm taking you guys home" Stan ordered as they went inside.

"Wait a minute, they're your sisters?! I thought they were your girlfriends!" Steve shouted.

"Yeah, we just like tricking people just for fun" David said as he walked with his sisters.

"Steve, I have to say that this was so much fun. I'm so glad we were able to solve this mystery. I realize that our relationship can only get more exciting. Why don't we get married right now?" Zoey suggested.

"What?!" Steve screamed.

"Just kidding (laughs)" Zoey and Steve start to make out as they went inside the helicopter. Steve attempted to unzip her dress, but Zoey slaps his hand.

"Sorry, there's people around" she said.

"My bad" he said as the couple continues to make out.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Roger return home, only to find an angry Hayley wearing a pink bathroom sitting on the couch.

"Okay who is who? Which one is the real Jeff?" Hayley wondered.

"I am. Your middle name is Dreamsmasher. Our daughter's name is Mary. We're both hippies. We both love weed. Your dad hates us being together, and you don't like wearing bras sometimes" Jeff said.

"That's all I needed to hear" Hayley said as she ran and hugged her husband. "Next time Jeff, imagine everyone wearing underwear. That will reduce your fear of public speaking."

"I can't or else I'll get a boner. You know how I feel" Jeff said.

"All right I'm out of here. You guys can (bleep) on your parents' living room. Peace out!" Roger said as he left.

Hayley seductively removes her robe and it falls to the ground, but the scene shades to black.

( **Credits scene** )

The scene shows the Risqué Admirers doing cheer-leading dances.

" _Coming soon to TBS: a brand new series from the creator of 'American Dad'_ " there was a montage of the cheerleaders swimming in bikinis, hiking, driving fast cars, and jumping off windows.

 _The Risqué Admirers_

 _The Risqué Admirers_

 _They are so hot_

 _And you are not_

 _The Risqué Admirers_

 _The Risqué Admirers_

 _They are so cool_

 _And you're a fool_

" _The Risqué Admirers: NOT coming soon to TBS"_ the announcer said.

 **End of Credits Scene**

 **End of Act 3**

 **If you guys were wondering who these actors were, Brian Donovan, Colleen Villard, Philece Sampler, Lara Jill Miller, and Tifanie Christun play Davis, Sora, Mimi, Kari, and Yolei, respectively, in** _ **Digimon**_ **. Plus the voices sound very similar to their characters on the show. So yeah, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Read and review and peace out my friends!**


	10. A New Friend

**I don't own anything except for my OCs.**

 **Opening Act**

Roger and Jeff are playing baseball…inside the house. The alien throws the ball at Jeff, only to be hit and it hits Greg and Terry's house.

"Roger, we're dead! My wife and Mr. S will kill us!" Jeff shouted.

"Don't worry, I got a plan" Roger said as moments later, he switches the baseball with a rock wrapped with a note. Greg opens it.

"Go away! We hate you and go to hell! –Tom Tucker" Greg reads.

"Let's report this!" Terry suggested as the couple drove off.

Jeff and Roger snicker.

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the Smith household Steve is sitting on the couch watching TV.

"All right, _Robot Wrestling_ is on now" he said.

 **TV Cutaway**

We see two robots, one is blue and the other is red, wearing black tights and they are wrestling each other.

" _It looks like Big Red will defeat Blue Boy tonight, huh Johnny?_ " someone commentated.

" _It sure looks like it Brad. Oh no, Big Red tore its ACL. Wait a minute, do robots have feelings?_ " Johnny asked.

 **TV Cutaway Ends**

(Ding dong)

"I'll get it" Steve said as he got up and opened the door. It was his girlfriend Zoey.

"Hi Zoey" he said as he kissed her on the lips.

"Hi babe, I got good news" she said.

"What is it?" he wondered.

"My pen pal from Australia is coming over to Langley Falls tonight! He's going to spent a few days at my house. Isn't it exciting?" Zoey wondered.

"Why that's great Zoey. It's great seeing old friends again. How long have you known him?" Steve asked.

 **Flashback**

" _We met a few years ago as part of a pen pal from outside the country program. We wrote to each other every day. Back when I lived at Denver, I wished that he would visit me. Unfortunately, he never had the time"_ Zoey narrated as we see her writing on a piece of paper and mailing it to a mailbox.

" _I was hoping that he would be a nice guy and not just some fraud. I moved on afterwards since we stopped talking to each other. I received an e-mail that he was visiting Langley Falls today_ " she finished her story.

 **Flashback Ends**

"I hope you're okay meeting him" Zoey said.

"No problem Zoey, any friend of yours is a friend of mine" Steve added with a smile. "He's not handsome, is he?" he wondered.

"No promises" she responded.

Later, the couple is waiting inside the airport for the guy to visit.

"Are you sure he's supposed to be here at this hour? I feel like it's taking forever" Steve wondered.

"He'll be here. Be patient, my love" Zoey responded.

Moments later, a guy with short blonde hair wearing a white t-shirt, blue jeans, black sneakers, and a red baseball cap arrives. He approaches towards Steve and Zoey.

"Hello, are you Zoey Melanie Wilson?" the guy asked. (A/E he is voiced by Liam Hemsworth.)

"Mark Johnson, is that you?" Zoey asked. "It is you! I'm so glad you're here!" she cheered as she ran and hugged him.

"I'm so happy to see you. I thought it was a guy posing as a girl (laughs)" Mark added. "Hello, I don't know who you are, but my name is Mark Johnson."

"Yeah you said your name already. I'm Steve, Steve Smith" Steve offered a handshake and Mark shakes his hand.

"Nice to meet you man. Are you guys dating?" Mark asked.

"We are" Zoey answered.

"So uh Mark, what are you doing here in Langley Falls?" Steve wondered.

"My mom got me a free plane trip and since it was only one ticket, she gave it to me. I'm going to be here for a couple of days. It's so great to be here in Langley Falls. I was going to go to Denver, but Zoey told me she and her family moved here so yeah, it's so good to see you guys" Mark added.

"Well, you're going to love it here Marky" Steve said.

"What do you guys want to do?" Zoey asked.

"Well I want to leave my house, if that's okay" Mark suggested.

"Absolutely" Zoey answered.

Later, Stan and Roger are sitting on the couch, looking bored.

"Francine, we're really bored here! Can't we go somewhere?" Stan asked.

"Stan, I have to finish vacuuming the kitchen. You guys can take the car or something" Francine rebutted.

"I don't wanna!" Stan whined.

"Stan we have to do something. There's nothing good on TV and Hayley and Jeff are busy with their baby. Here, how about a puzzle?" Roger suggested as he takes out a puzzle box with 1000 pieces.

"I don't like puzzles!" Stan complained.

"Either that or we go anal probing" Roger snapped.

"Fine you win" Stan surrendered as the two attempts to do the puzzle. "Roger, there are too many pieces. Are you sure that we're going to finish…hey, this is fun!"

"Stan look, we got 100 pieces connected already. This is actually fun. We could finish this in no time" Roger said in a happy tone. Hours later, they only connected 300 pieces.

"Wow, there are a lot of pieces huh?" Roger asked.

Later, Steve, Zoey, and Mark are eating pizza at Pizza Overlord.

"So this is how an American pizza looks huh? My mom always said that pizza will give me 10 pounds for every slice (laughs)" Mark joked.

"It's pretty good huh?" Steve asked as he eats.

"So Mark I was wondering if you want to hang out just the two of us tomorrow" Zoey suggested.

"But Zoey, we're dating" Steve rebutted.

"Steve I love you but I want to spend one on one time with my pen pal. We'll hang out again soon. I hope you understand" Zoey said.

"Well only if you guys don't kiss each other" Steve suggested.

"Steve, I promise not to kiss your girlfriend. We'll just hug and that's it" Mark said.

"Well all right, I guess I'll hang out with Snot" Steve added.

"There you go pal. So Mark, do you want to get some coffee tomorrow?" Zoey asked.

"I would love to. How is this Starbucks place like?" Mark asked.

"It's really good. Trust me" Zoey added.

"Anyone want another slice?" Steve asked as the two shook their heads no.

"All right we should leave now. A bunch of rapping grannies are here" Zoey said as a bunch of old ladies arrive, wearing hip hop gear.

"Yo, yo, yo granny G in the house!" one old lady rapped.

"Oh God" Mark complained.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

It was late at night. Stan and Roger are barely halfway finished with their puzzle.

"We're getting there Roger. If you want, we can ask the CIA to help us out" Stan said.

"Stan we can't. We have to finish this on our own" the alien refused.

Hayley walks down the stairs wearing her purple pajama shirt.

"Dad, Roger, it's 2 in the morning. You guys need to get some sleep. It's late already. You guys can finish this tomorrow" she said.

"Hayley, we're not stopping until we finish this puzzle. We still haven't figure out what this picture is. Go back to bed. I'm sure Mary wants her mommy" Stan refused as Hayley walked back upstairs.

The next day, Mark and Zoey are sitting at a table at Starbucks, drinking their coffee.

"(Laughs) there's a lot of kangaroos at Australia, huh? Are they cute at least?" Zoey wondered.

"Well only the babies are cute. So anyways Zoey, I need to tell you something. I know your boyfriend loves you very much and the thing is that I kind of had a crush on you" Mark confessed.

"I'm very flattered Mark but I'm already taken" Zoey said.

"I know it's just that I want to know what your secret is" he wondered.

"Well just be yourself and try to make people laugh. That's pretty much it" she answered.

"Okay, so uh do you have any other friends" Mark asked.

"I do" Zoey answered as she took out a photo of her, Hayley, Meg Griffin, Cindy Redmond, and Amy Walker. The latter three are from Family Guy.

"Do you carry pictures of hot girls all the time?" he asked.

"Sure why not?" she answered with a smile as she puts them away.

"What about Steve?" Mark asked.

"You can ask but some of them are dorks and some of them are cool" Zoey answered.

"Very good" he said. "Do you want to see a movie later?"

"Well okay but remember, this is not a date" she said.

"Very well then, but we should definitely leave. A bunch of slutty girls are here" Mark suggested as they stood up and left. The ladies are revealed to be…Princess Clara, Toot, and Foxxy from _Drawn Together_.

"Hey look the teens are gone" Princess Clara said as they each…oh wait a minute, ladies stop! You are NOT going to perform your inappropriate acts from _Charlotte's Web of Lies_. (A/E I snapped at the ladies.)

"Fine, your story sucks by the way!" Toot shouted as they left.

Later, Stan and Roger, covered with stink lines, are barely three-fifths done with the puzzle.

"What is this stupid picture?!" Stan screamed.

"Stan, hold yourself together!" Roger screamed back.

"Roger, we should just give up. It's way too hard. I'm tired, hungry, smelly, and cranky! I want my mommy!" Stan cried.

"Stanley look at this, we're three-fourths done!" Roger cheered.

"We can do this. Let's finish this once and for all" Stan said in a much better tone.

Hayley and Jeff walk down while covering their noses.

"That's your father Hayley" Jeff said.

"All right you win, my father is worst than your dad" Hayley said.

Later, Steve and Snot are playing at the arcade.

"So Steve, did this Mark guy took off with your girlfriend?" Snot wondered.

"Snot, she's showing him life around Langley Falls. They're not actually dating" Steve answered.

"Steve, when a guy only wants to spend time with the other guy's girlfriend, you know something is wrong" Snot added.

"What makes you say that?" Steve wondered.

"What I mean is that it happened the same thing to my mom. Her long time male friend and her went out on a date and boom they fell in love" Snot explained.

"Whatever you say Snot, oh and I kicked your ass again. Ready for round 2?" Steve asked.

"Your ass is mine, man!" Snot snapped.

Later, Mark and Zoey are at a movie theater. They are both sharing popcorn.

"Zoey, thanks for showing me how much America can be" Mark said.

"Anytime Mark, that's what good friends do" Zoey said.

"Hang on, I need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back" Mark said as he stood up.

"Oh come on, I got popcorn grease on my shirt. There better not be perverts around!" Zoey shouted as she picks up her purse, took off her shirt, revealing her black bra. She puts away the dirty shirt inside a plastic bag, puts on a clean shirt, puts the bag inside her purse, and puts the purse back to the floor.

Later, Steve is sitting at the couch watching TV.

"What is taking Zoey so long? She promised that we were going to watch all of season one of _Legend of Korra_ " he wondered.

(Ding dong)

"Hi Steve, are you busy?" it was Zoey.

"Not really, come on in" Steve answered.

"Well actually Mark wanted me to go camping with him. I was wondering if you want to come with us too" she wondered.

"Sure why not?" he answered with a bad attitude.

"Are you okay?" Zoey asked.

"Yeah I'm fine" Steve said.

"You look really pissed, what's wrong?" she wondered.

"It's nothing okay. I'll see you tomorrow then or whenever you guys are going" Steve said. "If you don't mind, I have to watch Legend of Korra."

"I thought we were watching it together"

"Actually my dad will fix the TV so yeah"

"Well okay, see you later" Zoey left sadly.

Hayley looks at her brother.

"Oh no, you two are again huh? Do you want me to bitch slap pen123?" Hayley asked.

"Who?" Steve wondered.

"Never mind. Is something the matter?" she asked.

"God, why can't people seem to leave me alone already and not ask me that stupid question? Zoey and I are fine. There's nothing wrong with us. She is still going to be my future wife! Hayley I'm sorry, are you free for a moment?" Steve asked.

"Steve, keep it down. I'm watching your dad scratching his butt. It's so funny" Roger suggested.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Steve and Hayley are eating at McDonald's. Steve ordered a double cheeseburger while Hayley simply ordered a chocolate shake.

"Steve, I can see that you really love Zoey. However, she needs space for herself" Hayley said.

"Hayley, I'm worried that she'll cheat on me with that Mark guy. I mean the guy is cool and all, but he's like the guy that every guy will look up to" Steve explained as he eats his burger.

"I know how you felt Steve. Jeff felt the same way too before. Back then I had a long time friend from grammar school who I spend so much time with Jeff got really upset. Things are going to be all right, little brother. Zoey does love you very much, but you can't expect her to be with you 24/7" Hayley added.

"I guess you're right. Sorry for getting mad at you" Steve apologized.

"I should be the one saying sorry. I screamed at you back then" Hayley said as they both laughed.

The next day, Zoey and Mark are packing stuff to go on a camping trip in a RV.

"Hey you guys, can I join?" Steve asked as he was taking stuff too.

"Yeah come on babe" Zoey answered with a smile.

Later, they go inside and as Steve is sitting while looking outside a window, the song _Sweet Disposition_ by the Temper Trap plays as the RV drives. He sees images of him and his girlfriend with their sweet moments together.

"I am not going to lose you" he told himself.

Later, the RV stops and they approach to a forest.

"Okay guys, we should set up the tent first" Mark said as they took out the big blue tent and took some time to set it up.

"Next, we should look for some firewood" he ordered as they went to go look for some. During the process, Steve touches Zoey's hair.

"You smell nice" he said.

"Thanks" she blushes.

Later, they found some wood and started a campfire.

"Steve, you wouldn't mind if Zoey and I go fishing while you guard the fire?" Mark suggested.

"Or I have a better idea: Zoey and I can go fishing while you guard the fire" Steve snapped.

"Excuse me?" Mark asked.

"Steve, are you okay?" Zoey asked.

"Yeah, that way only Zoey and I can enjoy eating while you do nothing at all and just watch us have fun" Steve added.

"Steve, you have been extremely negative from the past couple of days. What's wrong?" Zoey demanded.

"Nothing I swear" he answered.

"Steven Anita!" she shouted.

"Okay fine, I just don't want you two to be together. I don't want to lose you and I'm worried that you rather be with Mark than with me. There, I said it" Steve confessed.

"Steve, I will never cheat on you with another guy. I would never leave you with Mark also. Why would I do that? I told him about our relationship and he understood. I just wanted to spend time with my long lost friend" Zoey explained.

"Zoey, I'm sorry for being a jerk. I guess I was just jealous. I haven't been fair to you huh? I still want to be together" Steve explained.

"Steve, you will always be my boyfriend" she said.

"I hope you guys still want to spend time together" he added.

"I'll tell you what. Tomorrow we'll spend time together and the next day Mark and I can hang out and the next day you two can spend time together. Does that sound like a plan?" Zoey suggested.

"Perfect" Steve agreed as he hugs his girlfriend and kisses her. He puts his right hand inside her left butt jean pocket.

"I love you"

"I love you too"

"Gross you guys, get a room! I'm serious! Steven, if you ever need better romantic advice, I'm your guy" Mark added.

"I'd like that very much" Steve said with a laugh.

"Who wants some s'mores?" Mark asked as they agreed to have some.

Later that night, Steve, Zoey, and Mark are looking at the sky.

"I'm so glad things worked out well" Steve said.

"Indeed babe; so Mark, when do you leave?" Zoey wondered.

"I'm going to be here for a while actually. I found a place to live and I'm going to work at a donut company for the time being. I just want to chill with my two best friends" Mark said as he wrapped his arms around Steve and Zoey.

"So Mark, do you like fish sticks?" Steve asked.

"Oh no, don't tell me you're telling a really old _South Park_ joke" Zoey shook her head as she laughed.

"I would say yes but then you will call me a gay fish. I heard it millions of time" Mark said as he laughed as well. "I spy with my two little eyes that start with 'D'" he told them.

"Dumbass!" Steve shouted as he gives Mark a playful punch.

"You win this round, dumbass!" Mark shouted as the three laughed and lived happily ever after. **The End**

 **Oh wait a minute, what did happen to Stan and Roger? Let's find out.**

We see Stan and Roger…starting over.

"Stan, why the hell did you run over our puzzle? Now we will never get it done, you jackass!" the alien screamed.

"It's not my fault. I really needed to go to the bathroom. You told me not too and guess what? I'm done with this crap!" Stan shouted back.

Hayley walks down.

"Is that puzzle supposed to be a picture of Taylor Swift?" she asked.

"Taylor Swift?! So that's the mystery photo?!" Roger was surprised.

"Watch and learn, you guys" Hayley said as she finishes the puzzle within seconds.

"Way to go Hayley! I love Taylor Swift! _She wear short skirts, I wear T-shirts!"_ Roger sings.

" _She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers"_ Stan sings along.

"Oh God" Hayley told herself.

(Credits roll)

The scene shifts to images of Steve and Mark spending time together, playing video games, eating pizza, skateboarding, and watching TV. Another scene involves Zoey and Mark fishing, playing Frisbee, eating at a steakhouse, and watching birds. The last scene is Steve and Zoey making out at a photo booth, sitting on a bench sleeping together, and watching movies together. All of this is done with the song _Best Friend_ by Harry Nilsson.

 **End of Act 3**

 **There you have it ladies and gentlemen. This is the debut for my new OC, Mark Johnson. I hope you guys enjoyed him. Read and review and see you next week.**


	11. The Already Done Football Episode

**I do not own anything except for my OCs.**

 **Opening Act**

The scene shifts into the future. A boy is getting ready to go to sleep. His grandmother walks in.

"Grandma Mary, read me a bedtime story please" he begged.

"Absolutely dear" it was…Hayley and Jeff's daughter as an elderly woman. She is voiced by Eva Marie Saint.

"Any crazy adventures you had Grandma?" the grandson asked.

"Well, there was this story that happened before I was born and it involved a football game" Mary said.

"Oh boy, this is going to be fun" the boy said.

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

" _Once upon a time, my grandfather was bored at the CIA up until one day_ …" Mary narrated.

The scene takes place at the CIA. Stan is playing on his computer, looking bored.

"Come on, when will something exciting happen?" he wondered. He suddenly surfs online and sees a contest.

"What's this?" he wondered. "The 10th caller wins tickets for the Super Bowl, where the New England Patriots take on the Seattle Seahawks. I like where this is going."

Bullock arrives. "Smith, what on Earth are you doing?" he asked.

"Sir, the Super Bowl is coming up and I really want to go. I was wondering if you guys would you know, rig the 10th caller contest for me" Stan begged.

"Smith, the Super Bowl is great but there's no way it's possible…unless you invite me to go with you" Bullock suggested.

"Absolutely sir" Stan agreed.

"I'll see what I can do" Bullock said as he left.

Later, the rest of the Smith family and Jeff were sitting on the couch, watching TV. Stan comes in, very excited.

"Hey family, guess what? I got tickets to the Super Bowl!" he cheered. The rest of the family cheers with him.

"That's great honey. When are we leaving?" Francine asked.

"Whoa, hang on a second Francine. Here's the thing: I can only invite the two of you to come with me to the Arizona, where the Super Bowl will take place" Stan explained.

"Mr. S, I want to go. I like watching football, although why do they call it football if they use their hands in the first place? Sports are weird, huh?" Jeff wondered.

"Jeff please, so anyways, who really wants to go?" Stan asked.

"Are the Broncos playing?" Francine asked.

"No they're not" Stan answered.

"Screw that" Francine rebutted.

"Dad, I don't really watch football that much. I think I'll pass" Hayley added.

"Stan, I can't go. I got my lady meeting that day" Roger explained.

"I'll go" Klaus said.

"Sorry Klaus but you're a pet. No pets allowed at the Super Bowl period!" Stan said.

"Aww man that was my one and only chance I'll get a human body" Klaus added.

The scene shifts back to the future.

"Wait a minute, you had a talking fish back then?" the boy asked.

"As a matter of fact, we did. So anyways…" Mary continues her story.

The scene returns back to the present.

"Dad, I'll go but I kind of want to invite Zoey to go with me though" Steve said.

"I'm sorry Steve, but Zoey wanted me to help her babysit Greg and Terry's child Libby. She said something about her wanting to speak English" Hayley added.

Cutaway

Zoey is reading a bunch of teaching books in her room.

"My God, they get paid little for doing this?" she wondered.

Cutaway Ends

"Fine, Steve and Jeff, you guys can come with me and the rest of the guys from the CIA" Stan said.

"Thanks dad! This is going to be fun" Steve cheered.

"Mr. S, I promise I'll be on my best behavior" Jeff added.

A few days later, Stan, Bullock, Reynolds, Dick, Steve, and Jeff were outside of a coach bus, waiting to get inside.

"Dad, how did you get this amazing bus?" Steve wondered.

"Son, the CIA calls this the fun bus. You kids have school buses, we get coach buses" Stan added.

"Mr. S, isn't Steve a little too young to drink?" Jeff asked as Steve glares at him.

"Jeff, Steve has my permission to drink" Stan answered.

"All right dad" Steve cheered as he fist punches Jeff.

The bus finally opens.

"All right gentlemen are you ready to go to the Super Bowl?" the bus driver asked.

(Cheering)

"Wow, we have a lot of party people here! All right boys let's all go to the Super Bowl!" he cheered.

Everyone got inside the bus and the door closes and the vehicle drives off.

"Wait, can I come too? I want to go watch the Seahawks beat the Patriots!" a nerd asked as he was running.

"Get a life, loser!" Stan taunted as everyone laughed.

"I left my shoe there!" the nerd complained as someone throws a shoe as his head.

"Wait, I left my pants there!" a guy comes running, wearing only blue boxers with red hearts. Somebody throws a pair of jeans at him.

Inside the bus, Bullock stands up.

"Gentlemen, I have an important announcement to make" he said. "Yes we're going to the Super Bowl, but we're here because somebody…deflated the footballs and as members of the CIA, we are going to investigate it."

Everyone froze for a second, then…they we back to partying.

"(Sigh) the nice things I ever do to people" Bullock shook his head.

Meanwhile, Zoey arrives at Greg and Terry's house, wearing her normal outfit, but with a professor lab coat and big glasses. Hayley also arrives.

"Hello little girl, my name is Professor Wilson and this is your teaching assistant Hayley Smith. Today is the day you will learn how to speak English. How does that sound?" Zoey asked Libby, who is…sitting on the couch watching TV.

" _I have no idea what's going on_ " Libby said in French with English subtitles.

" _Yes you will, little girl. Whether you like it or not, you will learn how to speak American English if you want to be more normal_ " Zoey explained in French with English subtitles as well.

"Wow Zoey, I didn't know you can speak French" Hayley was amazed.

"There's a lot of stuff you don't know about me Hayley. So much that it's not even funny" Zoey added.

" _I'll pass_ " Libby said.

" _I am your babysitter and you will do as I say. If you want to take out $100 million worth of student loans, be my guest_ " Zoey snapped.

"Zoey, you don't even go to college" Hayley said.

"Shut it" Zoey snapped.

" _I want ice cream after our lesson_ " Libby requested.

" _Deal_ " Zoey agreed as she takes out a board with markers.

"I should have gone with Jeff to the Super Bowl" Hayley told herself.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Francine and Kat were having drinks at the Smith living room.

"Kat thanks so much for coming here. I thought that the household will be boring" Francine said.

"Anytime Francine; Michael had to go to work. Apparently, he's forced to defend someone who threatened a high school principal with multiple nipple attacks" Kat explained.

"You know what we should do? Let's watch _Grey's Anatomy_ and have a drinking contest. Every time they play "How to Save a Life", let's take shots!" Francine suggested.

"You're on!" Kat cheered as Francine turns on the TV. Moments later, they become extremely drunk.

"You know, Patrick McDreamy looks an awful like my husband" Francine said in a slurred tone.

"No I'm pretty sure it's my husband, you bee-otch" Kat said, also in a slurred tone.

"I am not a bee-otch, you bee-otch" Francine argued.  
"I know you are, but what am I?" Kat asked.

Roger walks by. He's wearing a blonde wig and a purple dress.

"Hello ladies" the alien cheered.

Meanwhile, the guys arrived at the University of Phoenix Stadium.

"Here we are boys, the home of Super Bowl 49" Stan said.

"Wow, this looks like fun. Now what?" Steve wondered.

"Guys, welcome to the University of Phoenix Stadium. In a moment, we're going to go inside and watch some football" Bullock said.

(Cheering)

"However, we will find the deflated balls so that the game is fair. Watch and learn" Bullock said as they approached towards the gates.

"Tickets?" the ticket guy asked.

"Yeah, about that…" Bullock's eyes glows with a blue color and the ticket guy turns into ice.

"Run, run, run" Bullock ordered as everyone ran inside the stadium. The song "Song 2" by Blur plays as they try to find the locker rooms with the balls.

"There it is! Gentlemen, we found the balls" Bullock announced as they see a bunch of footballs on the ground.

"Sir, I thought you had tickets for the game" Stan wondered.

"Shh, we can't let them find out. If they catch us, we're dead!" Bullock argued. "Now, everyone get a ball and check to see if they're okay."

Everyone complied as each person grabbed a football.

"OH cool, I got the one Tom Brady uses. Huh, this one isn't deflated" Steve pondered.

Meanwhile, Francine and Kat continue to drink more. Roger is simply watching them.

"So ladies, I heard you like Patrick Dempsey. Is that true? He is just a handsome guy" the alien said.

"They don't call him McDreamy for any reason" Kat answered.

"Hey, you know what we should do?" Francine whispered something inside their ears.

"Let's do it. Klaus, get your ass over here!" Roger shouted. The goldfish enters.

"Guys, I'm watching Germany play against Spain. What's so important that I have to miss parts of an actual football game?" he asked.

"Klaus, you know how much you want to see what's under my dress? Now it's your chance. After that, feel free to look under Kat's dress" Francine explained.

"I love to!" Klaus cheered as he ran, but Roger catches him and puts him in a lamb costume.

"What the hell is this?!" Klaus screamed as the ladies and Roger laugh at him.

"Dance sheep, dance" Roger demanded.

"I'm not going to dance!" the goldfish argued as Roger kicks him.

"Okay fine!" Klaus does the same lamb dance that Dipper from _Gravity Falls_ did.

"Aww, he is so cute!" Francine and Kat roared with laughter.

 **Cutaway**

We see Dipper is reading this chapter.

"Never again!" he shouted as he covers his eyes.

 **Cutaway Ends**

Meanwhile, Hayley and Zoey are teaching Libby some basic English words.

"This is your arm" Zoey sticks out her left arm. "My arm has a hand. My hand has 5 fingers. My fingers have fingernails. Now, repeat what I just said."

" _What the hell is this?_ " Libby asked.

"Hey, no swearing in Professor Wilson's class" Zoey snapped. "Try this: this is my hair. My hair is dirty blonde. This is my scarf. My scarf is purple. This is a shirt. My shirt is white. These are my pants. My pants are black. These are my shoes…"

"…and your shoes stink!" Hayley taunted as she covers her nose.

"Be quiet Hayley; your sandals stink worse!" Zoey snapped.

" _This is so boring_ " Libby told herself.

"Okay, okay so let's try this: my friend is named Hayley. Her name is Hayley. My name is Zoey. Your name is Libby. Repeat what I said" Zoey instructed.

" _This class is boring. The ladies are dumb. This class is a waste of time. I'm telling my dads_ " Libby added.

"I give up. Go play with your dollies!" Zoey surrendered as Libby went to play with her Barbie dolls.

"Wow, you're giving up already. Are you okay Zoey?" Hayley asked.

"How on Earth is she going to survive the real world?" Zoey asked.

Meanwhile, the guys finished looking at each football.

"Sir, I hate to say this, but none of them are deflated. I guess it's something the media said just to get attention" Stan explained.

"I guess you're right Smith. Okay everybody, let's find somewhere to watch the game" Bullock surrendered as someone walks in. It was a short guy with white hair, wearing a black tuxedo.

"Well, what do we have here? Looking for the balls? There are none here and the Patriots will suffer" he wondered.

Later, the guys grabbed Stan and ram him through a jail door.

"1, 2, 3!" they are using his head to break free.

"Oww, why did you guys choose me? This was not my idea!" he shouted.

"Hey, you wanted to see the Super Bowl live in person instead at home. So basically, this was your fault" Reynolds argued.

"Guys, we need a better plan to get out of here. I know the balls are deflated and I know the Patriots are innocent, but how?" Bullock wondered.

Suddenly, a brown animal approaches.

"Well, what do we have here?" someone said.

"Oh my God, it's you" Bullock said.

"He's…a Patriots fan. Save us! Plus do you mind buying us some hot dogs? I'm hungry!" Jeff begged as everyone glared at him.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

"What are you guys doing in Super Bowl jail?" it was…Reggie who asked.

"Reggie, we need your help. We were caught investigating balls and now they threw us in here and there's no hope for escape!" Stan cried.

"I'll free you if I'm working for you, but wait, Bullock fired me because he thinks that I'm a freak for watching butterfly poon. Forget it!" the koala refused.

"Please Reggie, save us. If you do, I'll give you back your job. I promise" Bullock begged.

"Hold on, my homies. I'll get you out of there in no time. I told the cops that someone is trying to take a dump on Tom Brady's football helmet, so that will buy some time" the koala explained.

"You knew about this?" Steve asked.

"Duh, I'm a koala, remember? Koalas like me know everything" Reggie said.

"Can you please help us out? I promise to legit rehire you back to the CIA in no time" Bullock explained.

"Stand back" Reggie said as he sharpened his nails and attack the lock, thus setting the guys free.

"Run you fools!" the koala ordered as they ran.

"See you Monday, koala" Bullock added.

Meanwhile, Zoey and Hayley are sitting on the couch, looking sad as Libby is playing with her dolls.

"I give up. I just wish that Libby would simple speak English. I guess I can't force her to talk in a language she's not comfortable with" Zoey said.

"It's not your fault. It's Greg and Terry's fault. They're forcing their daughter to butt kiss for a PhD. That's not right. I know Libby will be extremely successful. Come on, let's go home. Out moms are getting drunk as it seems" Hayley said as we see Francine and Kat streaking on the streets. (A/E their naked bodies are completely blurred.) Roger is recoding them while running.

"This is amazing! Two hot moms streaking at Langley Falls. This is the best day ever!" the alien cheered.

"Oh God, this is why I hate my mom drinking!" Zoey shouted.

"Don't be sad Zoey" it was…Libby speaking English.

"I have every right to be…was that you Libby?" Zoey wondered.

"(Sighs) yes it's me. I'm sorry for being disrespectful to you and Hayley. It's my dads who are forcing me to talk in French only. Since they're not home, I'd figure why not? You ladies are all right" Libby explained.

"All right Libby, that's my girl!" Zoey cheered.

"Are you happy now Zoey?" Hayley asked with a smile.

"Yes I am"' Zoey answered.

"Want some cookies from my Easy Bake oven?" Libby suggested.

"Yes please" Zoey agreed.

"I love some" Hayley said as the girls went upstairs to Libby's room.

"Please don't ever tell both of my fathers that I spoke English today" Libby demanded.

"Our lips are sealed" Zoey said.

Later, the guys go inside…a VIP suite club with food and beer on the table. They began to eat as they are watching the game from outside the window.

"Hey look, the Pats scored a touchdown!" Steve cheered.

(Cheering)

Suddenly, the old man returns.

"It's you. You're the one who deflated the balls just so the Patriots will take the blame and be hated by the media!" Bullock shouted.

"What are you guys doing here? You're supposed to be in jail. I'm not going to let you guys reveal to the public that I framed the Patriots with the deflated balls. No one is going to stop me, not even you guys! I am Wood, damn it!" he shouted.

"I'm sorry. My ears are stuffed from the cheering. Do you mind explaining what you just said? I couldn't quite hear you. I'm an old man" Bullock suggested.

"Guys, we won!" Steve cheered.

(Cheering)

"I'm out!" Wood tries to run away, but Jeff catches him right away.

"Not on my watch. I'm going home with my wife" Jeff said as Stan looked amazed to what his son-in-law did.

"Hayley is right to marry you after all. That's my boy!" Stan cheered.

"Dad, I thought I was your boy" Steve said.

"You too" Stan said with a smile as he pats his son's should, who also smiles.

Meanwhile, the cops arrived and arrested Wood and placed him inside a police car and drives off.

"Well done gentlemen. We had our fun and solved the mystery of the inflated balls. I do have some bad news: it's time to go home" Bullock said.

(Groaning)

"Well, at least this was a fun experience" Stan said as he, Steve, and Jeff are boarding on the bus.

"Dad, will we ever go to another game again?" Steve wondered.

"Only if there's a scandal, son" Stan answered.

"Cool Mr. S" Jeff said as all the guys went inside the coach bus and it drives off.

Out of nowhere, John Madden and I (pen123) are outside of the scene. We are both holding microphones.

"What do you think of tonight's episode pen?" John Madden asked.

"Well, I have to say…" I was interrupted.

"It wasn't good because there wasn't any football involved. That's what the fans came to watch: some football! Come on, who doesn't love a game of football? I mean, look at this: a scrawny teenage boy dating a supermodel? That's like Weird Al Yankovic dating Megan Fox!" John explained as he draws a diagram on a scene from this chapter. "I mean look at this, no girl would want to date a nerd like him."

"John, it's a story" I explained.

"Oh, I can see that. Well, join us next week as the Chicago Bears take on the Indianapolis Colts. I'm John Madden. See you next week" John said.

"There's no more football next week" I mouthed.

The scene shifts back to the future.

(Credits roll)

"…and so the guys returned home, but Stan had to pick up his wife from jail after paying $2000 for bail and Zoey's dad did the same. Libby never spoke English ever again. The end" Mary said as her grandson is asleep.

"Good night dear" she kissed him on the forehead and she walks out the door.

"Grandma?" the boy asked as she returned. "Who's pen123?"

Mary gives him a blank stare.

 **End of Act 3**

 **Well, I hope you enjoyed this episode. Next week, be on the lookout for a new member who will join "Wheels and the Legman". Read and review and see you later, folks!**


	12. Wheels and the Legman ft The 3rd Wheel

**I don't own anything except for my OCs.**

 **Opening Act**

Hayley wakes up from her bed. She checks on her husband Jeff and her daughter Mary. She kissed both of them on the forehead. She goes to the bathroom to take her morning shower. Later, she covers herself with a pink towel and goes back to her room. She gets dressed in her normal outfit. Peaceful music was played during her routine. However, the music stopped as something was wrong.

(Baby crying)

"Jeff, what's wrong?" Hayley asked.

"Uh, nothing! Mary has gas, that's all" Jeff lied, off-screen. "Crap, what's wrong tiny? Daddy Jeff is here!"

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the Smith living room. Hayley is holding on to a crying baby Mary.

"Babe, what's wrong with her?" Jeff asked.

"Jeff, where's her pacifier?" she asked back.

"I don't know babe. I thought you had it while you were taking a shower" he answered.

Stan and Francine walk in.

"What's all that racket?" Stan wondered.

"Dad, it's okay. Mary lost her pacifier and she needs it to be calm. I got this under control. I hope" Hayley said in a negative tine.

"Come here honey, it's your grandma Francine. Aren't you a sweet little angel?" Francine cooed her granddaughter as she was holding her, although it did not stop her from crying.

"Guys, what's going on in here?" Roger asked as he and Steve walk in.

"Guys, please leave us alone. Mary is a little cranky right now" Hayley answered.

"Cranky? That baby is throwing a huge temper tantrum!" Steve snapped.

"It's her binky, you guys. Once we find it, everything will be under control" Jeff suggested.

"Steve, it looks like there's a mystery going on. DO you know what that means?" Roger asked.

"You betcha Roger! This looks like a job for…" Steve added.

"WHEELS AND THE LEGMAN!" Steve and Roger shouted in unison.

 **Cutaway**

The intro of Wheels and the Legman plays. Steve is Wheels and Roger is Legman. There were scenes involving Steve and Roger shooting at criminals. It ends with the two avoiding an exploding yacht with the title card reading: "Wheels and the Legman: Created by Stephen J. Cannell".

 **Cutaway Ends**

Steve and Roger pose with their detective outfits.

"Oh no, not this crap again!" Klaus shook his head.

"What's your damn problem?" Roger asked.

"It's the same crap over and over again. You two bicker and then one of you has the lost item and it's so boring. Get over it already!" Klaus argued.

"Not this time fishy. It's not on my butt. Wait, what are we looking for?" Roger asked.

"We're looking for Mary's pacifier" Hayley answered.

"Oh that's right, well come on Wheels. We got a mystery to solve" Roger said as he and Steve left.

"Hayley, if Mary doesn't stop crying, I'm giving her a spanking!" Stan threatened as everyone glared at him.

Later, Steve and Roger are hanging out at their custom made office at the garage.

"Okay Wheels, what do we know?" Roger asked.

"Well Legman, my niece lost her pacifier. It's the only thing that will calm her down. Plus, it makes her ten times cuter. She's a cute as Maggie Simpson" Steve explained.

"Wheels, do you think we suck at solving mysteries?" Roger asked.

"To be honest Legman, we do" Steve answered. "Let's face it; we're slow, dumb, and stupid."

"I know you are but what am I?" Roger taunted as Steve frowns.

"I have an idea. We can recruit someone to help solve this mystery. We need somebody who's smart and fierce. I know the perfect person" Steve suggested.

Later, there was a…detective wanted poster outside of the Smith garage. A lot of people were in line.

"Let's see here: Wheels and the Legman and Fatboy. Nah, too slow. Next!" Steve ordered as Barry left.

"Wheels and the Legman and…a creepy old man?" Roger asked as Herbert from _Family Guy_ shows up.

"Hello, you boys like some popsicles?" Herbert asked.

"Pen, where are you?" Steve asked.

"Sorry guys, he showed up for no reason. Sir, let's go. I erase you!" I said, off-screen, as a pencil shows up and erases Herbert away.

"Thank you" Steve said.

(A/E You're welcome!)

"This is going to be a long day" Roger said.

Later, Steve and Roger are sitting down on the floor, looking bored.

"How are we ever going to find Mary's pacifier?" Roger asked.

"More importantly, why didn't my girlfriend Zoey applied?" Steve wondered.

Footstep noises were heard as the person walked inside the garage. It was Steve's girlfriend Zoey Wilson. The song "Nothin' on You" by B.o.B played.

"Oops, that must be my new ringtone. Hello?" Roger answered his call.

"Hi Zoey" Steve ran as he hugged and kissed his girlfriend.

"Hi Steve; I am so sorry for being late. My family had phone problems" Zoey explained.

 **Flashback**

Zoey's dad tries to call somebody on the phone.

"Stupid phone, why won't you call me?!" he screamed at the phone. Inside the wires of the phone, there was a virus…with a wife and a son, for some odd reason, are having a picnic.

"Isn't this fun dear?" the virus said, who is voiced by Seth MacFarlane.

"It is dear" his wife answered, who is voiced by Rachael MacFarlane.

"Mom, dad, can we play tag after our lunch?" their son said, who is voiced by Tara Strong.

 **Flashback Ends**

"I'm just happy you're here" Steve said as he hugs her.

"Steve, you look so hot in that suit and tie. You look even hotter with your shirt off" Zoey said in a seductive tone.

"Steve, I ordered a pizza. It will be coming…well hello there. You're perfect! Let's see here: a nice chest, nice butt, nice legs, and cute hair. You're perfect! Welcome to the club!" Roger cheered.

"What club?" Zoey asked.

"Zoey, how would you like to join Wheels and the Legman?" Steve suggested.

"Sure, but who's who? I'm confused" Zoey asked.

"All your questions will be answered in a bit young lady, but first, Steve, get back in the wheelchair! You're Wheels, remember? You're not suppose to break character, damn it!" Roger growled.

"Roger calm down, I had to stand up to hug and kiss my girlfriend" Steve explained.

"You can do all that smooch making out later. Right now we need to find Mary's pacifier, but first, Zoey, put this on" Roger said as he gave Zoey a light blue blouse, navy blue short skirt, and black heels.

"What am I supposed to be?" Zoey asked.

"As part of the Wheels and the Legman gag, you are now…the Third Wheel" Roger explained.

"I don't get it" Zoey said.

"Here you go" Roger gives her…a tricycle.

"Oh God!" Zoey shouted.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Zoey walks in, wearing her new outfit.

(Wolf whistle)

Steve looks at his girlfriend as he is blushing like crazy.

"You look hot girl!" he cheered.

"Thanks Steve. Okay what are we actually doing now?" Zoey asked.

"Zoey, we're going to find my niece's pacifier. This morning, Mary will not stop crying unless she finds her pacifier. All I know that it's pink. The question is who or what took it? What we are going to do is walk around town and find every culprit that knows baby Mary and demand them to give us back her binky" Steve explained.

"Now remember Zoey, your role is to seduce the culprits until they confess" Roger added.

"Excuse me?!" Zoey shouted.

"Zoey, you are what they call you, the sexy cop. I'm the bad cop and Steve is the good cop. That's how it works" Roger explained.

"Leave her alone Roger!" Steve shouted.

"What? It's the only way to find your niece's binky. What do you say Zoey?" Roger asked.

"I'm a teenager, not a whore!" Zoey snapped.

"Fine you win. Solve this mystery the boring way then" the alien surrendered.

"Thank you" she sarcastically said.

Later, Wheels, the Legman, and the Third Wheel, walk around town, trying to find the missing pacifier. Steve is rolling with his wheelchair. Zoey is riding on a tricycle. Roger is…riding on a motorcycle.

"Oh come on!" Zoey shouted on top of her lungs.

Later, they arrived at…Barry's house.

"Steve, why are we here?" Zoey wondered.

"Zoey, Barry babysat Mary last time and I promised him a party size sausage and pepperoni pizza for himself as a token for appreciation. Maybe he stole the pacifier and wants it so that he could be a baby again. It's not how that works, you know" Steve explained.

"Hello, oh you must be Steve's imaginary friends?" Barry answered the door.

Later, he was tied up while sitting on a chair.

"Guys, whatever I did, I didn't do it! Don't make me go uh-oh in my pants! I swear I didn't take anything!" Barry cried.

"Where's her pacifier?!" Roger shouted.

"I don't have it. I don't even know what that thing is!" Barry screamed.

"It sounds like he's lying. Okay Barry, we're not going to hurt you, isn't that right Roger?" Zoey asked the alien.

"No promises" Roger answered.

"Guys, Barry's innocent. I searched his whole house and nothing. He's clean" Steve said.

"Okay, I guess you're okay" Zoey told Barry as she unties him, although Steve's fat friend is around by her chest and legs.

"Steve, can I have her if you guys break up?" Barry suggested.

"I don't think so" Steve said as they left.

Later, Jeff and Hayley are playing peek-a-boo with the crying Mary.

"Babe, this isn't working. Mary will not simply stop crying. Maybe there's something that she can chew on to get her to calm down" Jeff suggested.

"Jeff, her pacifier is the only thing that will get her to stop crying. I hope Steve and Roger finds it soon enough. Look honey, do you want to watch _Barney and Friends_?" Hayley suggested as she turns on the TV. Surprisingly, Mary calmed down.

" _I hate you, you hate me, you all wish that I was dead_ " Barney sings, off-screen.

"Oh crap, it's that episode where Barney becomes emo. Oh crap, where the hell is that pacifier?! Here Mary, Hayley will feed you with her chest" Jeff suggested as he removed Hayley's shirt, revealing her black bra. Jeff tries to remove her bra, but she slaps his hand.

"Jeff, knock it off" Hayley snapped as she puts her shirt back on. "Honey, it's okay. Mommy and daddy will get you your pacifier back. I promise."

Later, Steve, Zoey, and Roger went back to the office at the garage, looking extremely tired.

"Wow, nobody knows where Mary's pacifier is, huh?" Steve asked.

"Maybe we should just buy her a new one. I don't think she'll mind" Zoey suggested.

"I guess we can do that" Steve agreed.

"My butt hurts from riding on that stupid tricycle. Do I look like three years old?! I don't think so! I'm 17, damn it!" Zoey shouted.

"Guys, we can't give up. Let's go back around town and find that pacifier. It has to be somewhere" Roger suggested.

"We tried that but nothing Legman. How about we buy her one?" Steve asked.

"This isn't going to work. I know; Steve, did you hide it inside your pants?!" Roger shouted as he lowered Steve's pants down, revealing his white briefs. Zoey blushes.

"Roger, what are you doing?!" Steve shouted.

"Is it inside your undies? Is it?" Roger asked as he looks inside Steve's underwear.

"Nope, you're clean" the alien said as he pulled up Steve's pants.

"Zoey, you need to take my advice more seriously. In order to solve the mystery of the missing pacifier quickly, you really need to be sexy! Like this for example" Roger explained as he rips Zoey's skirt, revealing her pink panties. Steve's face turns lava red after seeing his girlfriend in her underwear. Zoey covered herself with her hands.

"What are you doing, you pig?!" Zoey screamed as she retrieved her skirt back and dons it.

"Roger, this is supposed to be our mystery. You're trying to make us look ridiculous! This is not the Roger show, okay?! If you're not going to be serious, I guess we can call it quits then. I can't take this anymore. You want to embarrass us? It's not happing to us. Come on Zoey, let's go find my niece's pacifier somewhere else" Steve suggested as he stood up from his wheelchair and he takes his girlfriend with him.

"Wheels come back. You're not supposed to break character, remember?' Roger pleaded, but the couple left.

"Fine, you guys won't be laughing once I find Mary's pacifier!" Roger shouted as he laughed evilly.

(Sniffing)

"Huh, I probably shouldn't have farted when they left. You smelt it, you dealt it!" the alien laughed as he jumped.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Roger is walking around at the garage.

"How am I going to prove them wrong? I know I'm always right. I just have to show them who's boss" the alien told himself.

We see Steve and Zoey walking about town, asking people about Mary's pacifier. Everyone all shook their heads no. This was done with the song…actually I can't think of one. Here, play the instrumental theme song of _6teen_.

Meanwhile, Roger is playing on his computer.

"Where is Mary's pacifier?" he asked while typing on the computer. Steve and Zoey arrive.

"Roger, we need to talk" Steve said.

"Listen you guys, I'm sorry for what I did. I know it's wrong to make you do things that make you uncomfortable. I just want to spend time with you guys, that's all. Zoey, you don't have to do anything sexy if you don't want it. I hope you guys will forgive me" the alien suggested.

"Sure why not? I forgive you" Zoey said.

"Why don't we ask Mark? I remember he babysat Mary while Hayley and Jeff went out last time" Steve suggested.

"Good idea, babe" Zoey agreed.

"Roger, I'm going to need my wheelchair" Steve said with a smile.

"If you don't mind, I would like my tricycle, please" Zoey requested with a smile as well.

"This looks like a job for…"

"WHEELS AND THE LEGMAN AND THE THIRD WHEEL!" the three said in unison.

Later, they arrived at Dunkin Donuts.

"So this is where Mark is working?" Steve questioned.

"Yeah, he's working there for now until he finds something that he enjoys doing for a living" Zoey answered.

They go inside and they see Mark.

"Hi guys, what can I do for you?" Mark said.

"Hey Mark, we were wondering if you…you know…uh" Steve tried to talk to him, only for Roger to threaten him…with a water gun.

"Puts your hands in the air! Where did you take the pacifier?!" Roger screamed.

"Excuse me?!" Mark questioned.

Later, he was tied to a chair.

"Marcus Johnson…" Roger was interrupted.

"That's not my name. My name is simply Mark Johnson" he argued.

"Whatever. Tell me, where is Steve's niece's pacifier?!" Roger demanded.

"I don't have it. Now leave me alone. Second of all, what's with the water gun?" Mark wondered.

"This is why" Roger shoots him with…hot sauce.

"Oww, it burns!" Mark cried. "Mmm, it's good actually!"

"Damn it. Okay then Zoey would you mind?" Roger asked as Steve's girlfriend jumps in.

"Mark, everything is going to be okay. If you don't have it, where is it?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know where it is" he answered.

"(Sigh) Steve, please forgive me. Okay Mark, we can do this the easy way or the hard way. Which do you prefer?" Zoey said as she walks around him in a sexy way.

"The hard way" Mark answered.

"Okay then" Zoey…unbuttons her blouse, revealing cleavage and parts of her pink bra. She continues to walk around him.

"Zoey, what are you doing? Are you actually being the sexy cop? If he doesn't have it, then we should just leave him alone" Steve suggested.

"Quiet babe, I know what I'm doing" Zoey said.

"Are you going to confess or not?" she asked.

"I do not have her pacifier!" Mark shouted.

"You don't know when to stop. Okay then, you left me no choice!" Zoey sits down on a chair and starts crossing her legs multiple times.

"Oh my God Zoey, what are you doing?" Steve asked.

"I'm making Mark confess that he took Mary's pacifier" Zoey explained. She widens her legs as she was about to reveal her underwear in front of Mark, only to be stopped by someone.

"Mark honey, I found this pacifier from the wind. I don't know who has it, but make sure somebody gets it back. Oh you must be Mark's new friends. Hello, I'm Joanne. It's nice to meet you" a lady with long blonde hair wearing a blue dress and matching heels walks in. She is voiced by Nicole Kidman.

"Mom, can you help me? I'm tied up" Mark demanded, but Steve and Zoey untied him.

"Hi I'm Steve and this is my girlfriend Zoey. We're extremely sorry about this. You see, my friend Roger and I were trying to find Mary's pacifier, but we ended up going bananas and this is what happen. Mark, I'm really sorry Zoey tried to seduce you" Steve said.

"Mark, I'm deeply sorry. I got a bit carried away with being the sexy cop that I forgot what we're actually solving. I hope you can forgive us" Zoey said.

"Well, I did see what kind of undies you were wearing Zoey, so yes I'll forgive you guys" Mark said.

"It's my fault to. I should have made a poster that somebody lost a pacifier and for someone to retrieve it. Here you go. Thanks mom for taking care of it" Mark said as he gives Steve the pacifier.

"Thanks man" Steve said. "Roger isn't there something you would like to say?" he asked the alien.

"Nope" Roger refused but Zoey kicked him in the groin.

"Okay I'm sorry for making you look like a dork Steve. I'm sorry for forcing you to be the sexy cop Zoey. I'm deeply sorry for keeping you hostage Marky! Friends?" Roger offered a handshake.

"Sure man" Mark accepted his apology, only to kick him in the groin.

"You guys are so cute. Who wants some chocolate doughnuts?" Mark's mom asked as Steve, Zoey, and Mark left.

"… _and so, we found Mary's pacifier and thank God Mark was being a good sport about it. Mary never cried out of control ever again. There was peace and quiet in the Smith household and everything went back to normal_ " Steve narrated as the scene shifts to him, Zoey, and Roger sitting on the couch watching TV. All of them had their normal outfits on, while Roger simply had a t-shirt and jeans. Hayley walks in, while holding on to baby Mary, who is sleeping and sucking on her pacifier.

"Thanks you guys! I love you all, even you Roger" Hayley said with a cheerful smile.

"Well, we did it you guys! We solved the mystery of the missing pacifier! Let's watch some TV" Steve suggested.

(Credits roll)

"You don't think Mark is upset with us, was he?" Zoey said.

"I have a feeling he is" Steve answered.

The final scene shifts to Mark, who is smiling for some odd reason.

"Thanks for looking after the pacifier, mom. I finally got to see my pen pal in her underwear. Now I can move on" he said.

"Son, that's not nice. Maybe it's time you get a girlfriend" Joanne answered.

"You're right mom. I hope Steve will help me" Mark said.

"I'm sure he will. You want the rest of these leftover doughnuts?" she asked.

"I'm good, thanks" he answered.

"Sorry guys, I can't help it. I promise not to interfere. Pen, if you see me interfering, kill me off, just like Brian from _Family Guy_. I'm serious!" he begged.

 **End of Act 3**

 **Even though this was supposed to be funny, it was harder than expected. Oh well, it's done and next week will be the two part storyline involving the Smiths and Wilsons going to Japan. This is pen123, signing off!**


	13. A Wacky Japan Adventure Part 1

**I don't own anything except for my OC Zoey Wilson.**

 **Opening Act**

Zoey is playing Nintendo DS with a student at Langley Falls.

"I win!" she cheered.

"All right Zoey" Steve congratulated.

"Young lady, is that a video game? Can I see you in my office?" Principal Lewis shows up.

(Oohing)

"Oh crap, she's busted" Steve complained.

 **End of Opening Act**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place inside the Smith household. The Smith family is sitting on the couch watching TV.

(Door knocking)

"Somebody get that stupid door!" Roger screamed.

Steve gets up and proceeds to open the door. It was his girlfriend Zoey.

"Hi Zoey" Steve said as he kissed her.

"Hi babe, I got good news. I won the Pokemon tournament at Pearl Bailey High School and because the principal was amazed, I won a trip for 10 to go to Japan!" Zoey cheered.

"That's great Zoey. Who are you inviting?" Steve asked.

"All of you. Even better, babies and pets are free! That leaves, let's see here, your parents, my parents, your sister, your sister's husband, your freaky looking friend…" Zoey was cut off.

"Hey, I'm not freaky looking! You are!" Roger screamed.

"Whatever. My babe, who's you, me, and that leaves one spot for someone. Who should we take?" Zoey wondered.

"Snot or Mark can come" Steve suggested.

"About Mark, he can't go to Japan because the last time he went, he got food poisoning" Zoey explained.

"I guess we'll take Snot" Steve said.

"What about Toshi?" Hayley asked.

"He's busy" Steve answered.

 **Cutaway**

We see Toshi and Akiko practicing their musical instruments nonstop.

"I want perfection! I want perfection! I want perfection all day everyday!" their mom shouted.

(A/E Don't worry, I will punish Toshi's and Akiko's mom for being stubborn.)

"I heard that" she shouted.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Then it's settled. We're going to Japan" Stan stood up.

"Oh boy, I haven't been on a different country since forever" Francine said.

"Are we going to see Siamese cats that write calligraphy with their butts?" Jeff asked.

(A/E There's a show called _Sagwa, The Chinese Siamese Cat_ where cats write with their tails, not with their butts.)

"Sorry Jeff, but that's in China" Hayley answered.

"Aw man" Jeff groaned.

"Zoey, what's going to happen in Japan?" Steve asked.

"I entered a Pokemon tournament there and I will be representing Langley Falls there. The game is like the one you played on _Heartgold_ , _Soulsilver_ , Yellow, all that good stuff" Zoey explained.

"Nice" Steve added.

"What do you say you guys?" Zoey asked.

"Do I need to hang out with your dad?" Stan wondered.

"If you want" Zoey answered.

"Then yes we'll go" Stan added.

"I love to go, but what about Mary? I have a feeling she's going to cry" Hayley said.

"I got that under control babe" Jeff said.

 **Flashback**

Jeff is holding Mary while watching cartoons.

 **TV Cutaway**

"Hello, I'm Jeffrey the plane. We are fun to travel" the TV plane said.

Mary laughs.

"You like that sweetie?" Jeff asked.

 **TV Cutaway Ends**

 **Flashback Ends**

Later, the Smiths and the Wilsons, plus Steve's friend Snot, are sitting at the waiting area for their flight to be ready.

"Thanks so much for inviting me Steve. I was desperate to go somewhere far from home" Snot said.

"You should thank Zoey really" Steve added.

"Thank you milady" Snot said as he kissed Zoey's hand.

"Hey! She's off-limits!" Steve snapped.

"Sorry" Snot apologized.

" _Tokyo for 10 please report to your plane_ " the announcer said.

"Well, here we go" Zoey said as everyone got up and took their stuff and went inside the plane.

Later, everyone got comfortable sitting on their seats at the plane. Steve is between Zoey and Snot.

"So Zoey, what Pokemon do you have?" he asked.

"I have Milotic, Lucario, Blastoise, Starmie, Charizard, and Venusaur" Zoey answered.

"That's a dream team Zoey" Steve complimented.

"Thanks" Zoey said as she blushed.

"Hey Zoey, did you know that you can use choice items too?" Snot suggested.

"Thanks, but I like to keep it plain and simple. I know what I'm doing" Zoey answered as the flight continues to proceed.

Many hours later, they arrived at Tokyo, Japan.

"Finally, we made it!" Stan cheered.

(Phone rings)

"Hello?" Stan answered.

"Hi Smith. Are you busy right now?" Bullock asked.

"Sir, I'm on vacation. What is it?" Stan asked.

"You mind if you bring me an ecchi anime from Japan? I want to see if they're real or not" Bullock requested.

"Sir, you are a pervert! I can't do that. Besides, I brought my granddaughter with me" Stan refused.

"Please Smith, it's for research. I'll tell you what, bring one and I will give you 6 months paid vacation" Bullock suggested.

"Make it one year and you got yourself a deal" Stan added.

"Fine, bring one with the cute girls" Bullock demanded as he hangs up his phone.

"What a pervert" Stan chuckled.

Later, they arrived at the hotel room.

"Ladies, you will sleep on these halls. Gentlemen, you will sleep on these halls" the hotel service person said.

"Well, I guess we can settle our things for a while" Michael said.

"So Steve, it looks like we're roomies!" Snot cheered.

"Jeffrey, I'm your roomie!" Roger cheered, while he's dressed in a white kimono.

"Yahoo" Jeff groaned as he rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry Jeff, I'll keep you company" Klaus said.

"Anybody hungry? I heard there's that restaurant where they serve shrimp in front of you" Kat suggested.

"Sure Mrs. Wilson" Steve agreed as everyone left their stuff in their hotel rooms. "Zoey, are you ready?" Steve asked.

"I need to do something first" Zoey said as the scene shifts to a building where the Pokemon tournament is held. Inside, there was a huge line as people are registering to compete. Fortunately, Zoey is next.

"Name?" one of the judges asked.

"Zoey Melanie Wilson" she answered.

"Game?" the judge asked.

"Platinum" she answered.

"You have a disk game?" the judged asked as Zoey gives him the game.

"Okay you are good. The tournament starts tomorrow. Good luck" the judge said as Zoey picks up her registration number.

"You got this Zoey. I know you're a huge fan. You're going to win!" Steve encouraged his girlfriend.

"Thanks Steve" Zoey added.

"What do you win if you win the tournament?" Snot asked.

"The contest said something about a special prize. I hope it's good" Zoey said as they left.

"Oh my God, he's here! It's Big Red!" someone shouted outside as a guy with a red cap, red vest, blue jeans, and white sneakers arrived. We don't see his face as he walks to the judge's table.

"I have to win Zoey said"

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

The Smiths, Wilsons, and Snot are sitting in front of a Japanese kitchen in a restaurant.

(Oohing and aahing)

The chef throws a piece of cooked shrimp in the air, only for Zoey to catch it in her mouth and eats it.

(Clapping)

"I think I love Japan already!" Steve cheered.

"Hey uh, do you by any chance sell beer?" Stan asked.

"Stan, we're on vacation and you're already thinking about drinking?" Francine questioned in a frowning tone.

"Oh come on Francine, I'm not to do any driving around" Stan said as his wife crossed her arms.

"No beer, but we have sake" one of the servers said as he serves Stan a bottle of sake.

(A/E Sake is a Japanese alcoholic drink which is rice wine.)

"What the hell is sake?" Roger asked.

"Roger!" Francine shouted. "Be nice!"

"This drink is too hot!" Stan complained as his hand touched the cup.

"And this is why I'm never drinking" Zoey added.

"Oh look the food is ready" Michael said as the chef cooks everyone's food and it is served on their plates. Hayley is holding baby Mary while feeding her with baby formula.

"Honey, do you need help eating?" Francine asked.

"No mom, I'm good" Hayley answered.

"Mmm, this shrimp is really good" Steve said.

"It is, isn't it? I was craving for salmon, my favorite food" Zoey said.

"Finally, some real food" Snot cheered.

"Eat up everyone. Tomorrow our baby girl competes in a Pokemon tournament and we will do some site visits prior to that" Michael said.

"Thanks everyone for coming" Zoey said as everyone continues to eat.

Stan tries to take a sip of sake.

"Hey, this isn't so bad. Maybe it's better than beer" he said as he continues to drink the Japanese alcoholic beverage.

"You're right Stan. Maybe this stuff isn't so bad. I really like it" Roger said as he and Stan drinks the entire bottle of sake.

"Can we get more sake please?" Stan said.

"You betcha. Today only, you get unlimited sake" the server said.

(Cheering)

"Oh God, not again" Francine hits her face with her hand in disapproval.

Later, they leave the restaurant, feeling full. Francine and Hayley are holding on to a drunk Stan and Roger, respectively.

"Francine, you know what we should do? We should reenact one of those Asian adult movies and fulfill our sexual desires" Stan suggested in a drunken tone.

"Stan, we're on vacation. The kids are here!" Francine refused.

"Who knew the Asians would make something cool like sake?" Roger asked who is also drunk.

"Just be quiet Roger" Hayley snapped.

"This is not going to ruin our trip" Michael rebutted.

"It's okay honey" Kat calmed him down.

Later, they arrive back at the hotel. Stan is sitting on the bed, feeling pain.

"What the hell happened here?" Stan asked.

"You had a hangover sir" Michael said.

"Yikes, that was embarrassing" Stan said.

"Yes well, time for bed" Michael added.

"You go ahead. I need to do something for Bullock" Stan said as Michael nodded.

Roger leaves the hotel room too.

"Roger, what are you doing here?" Stan asked.

"Uh, Jeff kicked me out?" the alien lied.

"Let me guess, you want more sake?" Stan wondered.

"You read my mind. Let's go" Roger said.

"Where to?" Stan questioned.

"To the finest sake in all of Japan" the alien suggested as he left.

We see a montage of Stan and Roger drinking lots of sake around Japan. They do various activities, such as playing in the arcade, goofing off at a zoo, wrecking havoc at a Japanese game show, Roger kissing random Asian women, and so on. This was done to some Japanese funk music.

The next morning, Stan, lying face first on the floor with his pants on the ground revealing his white briefs, and Roger, also lying on the ground, are woken up.

"Roger, what the hell happened here?" Stan asked.

"I have no idea. Hang on, I need to take a whiz" the alien said as he stood up. He opens the bathroom kitchen, only to see a real life red eyes black dragon, which is for some reason, taking a dump on the toilet while reading the newspaper.

"Hello" the red eyes black dragon waived. (A/E It is voiced by Seth Green.)

"Stan?" Roger stuttered as he closed the door. "Stan! There's a dragon on the bathroom! We are so busted!"

"Oh my God, what do we do?" Stan asked.

"Well first of all, pull up your pants. Second of all, I don't know! What did we do last night?!" Roger screamed.

Stan pulled his pants back up.

"Okay, we need to tell the dragon nicely to leave or else we're screwed!" Stan shouted as he opened the bathroom, only to see the red eyes black dragon grooming himself.

"Hi boys. I brought you guys here because you passed out. Don't worry. You guys will make it safe back. I have to go. Joey Wheeler is waiting for me. Catch you later" the dragon flies away.

"We need to find the others. But first, we need to shower" Stan said as they went to go take a shower.

Later, the rest of the Smith family and Wilsons went to visit a few site visits before Zoey competes.

"Where are my dad and Roger?" Steve wondered.

"I don't know, but we can't be late though. I'm sure they'll be here" Zoey said.

"Okay guys, this is it. Zoey, are you ready?" Michael asked.

"(Sigh) I am" Zoey answered.

"Remember to use the force Zoey" Snot added.

"Snot, this is Pokemon, not Star Wars" Steve snapped.

"I know, I just thought it was funny" Snot said as the boys laughed.

Zoey enters the building and proceeds to face her first opponent.

Stan and Roger took a taxi to find the tournament.

"Hang in there, Steve's sexy girlfriend and also my future daughter-in-law!" Stan shouted.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Zoey faces off a guy named Tommy. She uses Milotic while he uses Exploud.

"Milotic, use Hydro Pump!" Zoey shouted as her Pokemon used the move and attack Exploud.

"Exploud, use Hyper Voice!" Tommy said as his Pokemon attacked back at Milotic.

"Come on Zoey, you can do it!" Steve encouraged his girlfriend.

"It's all up to Zoey. She needs to make one attack and she'll win" the announcer said.

"Milotic, finish off with Ice Beam!" she ordered as her Pokemon concealed the victory.

"No, my Exploud!" Tommy shouted.

"Exploud is unable to battle! The winner of this match goes to Zoey from Langley Falls" the judge announced.

(Cheering)

"Way to go Zoey!" Hayley shouted while holding on to baby Mary, who is wearing earmuffs.

"That's my girlfriend!" Steve cheered.

"All right Zoey!" Snot cheered as well.

Later, Stan and Roger arrived at the building where the Pokemon tournament was held.

"Okay, the battle area is somewhere on the third floor. Now we need to find a nice stranger…" Roger was interrupted.

"Got it!" Stan exclaimed.

"What is it?" Roger asked.

"I got something ecchi. I hope Bullock likes _High School of the Dead!_ " Stan cheered as he picks up a DVD of the anime.

"Oh my God, I watched that with Steve" Roger said.

"What?! He watches that stuff?! That's my boy!" Stan exclaimed.

"Stan, we have some time. Want to do a little drinking game?" Roger suggested.

"How?" Stan wondered.

"Every time we see boobs or panty shot, let's take a drink of sake" the alien suggested as he got a bottle.

"Don't tell Francine" Stan said as they found a room TV with a DVD player. A few minutes later, they're already wasted.

"What the hell is wrong with these chicks? Do their parents tell them to get naked all the time?" Stan asked in a slurred tone.

"How about they fight skirt-less? That will definitely scare the zombies away" Roger suggested in a drunken tone.

Later, Zoey faces off a girl name Sonya. Zoey uses Blastoise while Sonya uses Gengar.

"Blastoise, use Hydro Pump!" Zoey ordered.

"How many times is Zoey going to use Hydro Pump?" Kat asked.

"It's her Pokemon dear. Let her use whatever she wants" Michael said.

"I have no idea your daughter is obsessed with Pokemon" Francine complimented.

"Oh you should have seen her face when we got her Yellow" Kat recalled.

 **Flashback**

We see little Zoey, dressed in a white shirt, black pants, and baby shoes, hugging…her parents nonstop.

"Thank you mommy and daddy!" she cheered.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Crap, that Gengar used Thunderbolt against Zoey's Blastoise. It's over for her!" Jeff whined.

"Not yet Jeffrey" Steve cheered him up.

"You shouldn't have done that. Oh crap, I quoted Ben Drowned. Oh well, use Hydro Cannon Blastoise!" Zoey ordered as Blastoise used the powerful water type move to knock out Sonya's Gengar.

"Ha ha, it has Torrent! I told you she's good!" Steve exclaimed.

"Good? She's amazing!" Snot cheered.

" _Zoey wins the match. The next round will feature her against a familiar opponent_ " the announcer said.

"She did it!" Steve cheered.

Later, Stan and Roger are cleaning up nonstop.

"Oh my God, what have we done? If they found out we were drinking, we're screwed!" Stan freaked out.

"Now what? We need to get the hell out of here" Roger suggested.

"Hang on; I need to hold on to this movie. Bullock better like it!" Stan snapped as they left while being clean.

Later, Zoey is sitting on the bench with a towel wrapped around her shoulders. Steve shows up with flowers.

"A little something to wish good luck to my beautiful girlfriend" Steve said.

"They look beautiful Steve. Thank you so much!" Zoey cheered as the two kiss passionately.

"Dear Penthouse Forum…" Snot is recording them.

"What are you doing?!" Zoey asked in an angry tone.

"Uh, testing out my new video camera?" he lied.

"Get out of here Snot!" Steve screamed.

Stan and Roger arrive at the balcony, where the rest of the Smiths and Wilsons are sitting.

"Stan and Roger, where the hell were you guys?!" Francine argued.

"I'm sorry Francine. Roger and I got carried away with the sake. I know it's wrong but hear me out, never again we will go crazy drunk" Stan said.

"Frannie please don't be angry. I promise we'll do whatever you say when we get home!" Roger begged.

"Well, all right, at least you guys are here" Francine accepted their apologies.

Steve, Zoey, and Snot walk by.

"Hey guys, so glad you're here. Zoey made it to the semifinals" Steve announced.

"That's my girl!" Michael said as he kissed his daughter on the cheek.

"Way to go sweetheart!" Kat cheered as she hugs her daughter.

"Thanks you guys" Zoey cheered.

For some reason, an Asian lady was spying on them.

"I have to get ready now. I'll see you guys later" Zoey said as she left.

"I found you Roger!" an Asian woman showed up, with long black hair, wearing an orange tank top, purple floral skirt, and high heels. She is voiced by Rinko Kikuchi.

"Who the hell are you?" Stan asked.

"I'm his wife! My name is Suki Sato" the lady introduced herself. "I'm Roger's wife!"

The Smiths, Wilsons, and Snot opened their mouths with shocked looks.

The screen fades to black.

 **To Be Continued…**

 _Next time on American Dad…_

(Credits roll)

"Roger, you're married?" Francine asked.

"Let me explain to you guys" Roger begged.

The scene shifts to another scene.

"Zoey, are you sure you want to continue? He's hard, you know" Steve said.

"I don't know. I'm scared" Zoey said.

Another scene shifts.

"Oh my God, he's a fraud!" Stan shouted.

The last preview of next week's chapter is shown.

"Oh my God, it's Crush 40!" Steve cheered.

 **End of Act 3**

 **Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hope you guys will be excited for part 2 next week. Read and review and se ya folks!**


	14. A Wacky Japan Adventure Part 2

**I don't own anything except for my OC Zoey Wilson.**

 **Instead of an opening act, here's a recap of last week's episode.**

 _Previous on American Dad..._

" _I won the Pokemon tournament at Pearl Bailey High School and because the principal was amazed, I won a trip for 10 to go to Japan!" Zoey cheered_.

...

 _Stan tries to take a sip of sake._

" _Hey, this isn't so bad. Maybe it's better than beer" he said as he continues to drink the Japanese alcoholic beverage._

…

" _I found you Roger!" an Asian woman showed up, with long black hair, wearing an orange tank top, purple floral skirt, and high heels. She is voiced by Rinko Kikuchi._

" _Who the hell are you?" Stan asked._

" _I'm his wife! My name is Suki Sato" the lady introduced herself. "I'm Roger's wife!"_

 _The Smiths, Wilsons, and Snot opened their mouths with shocked looks._

…

 _Presently on American Dad..._

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place where we left off last time.

"Roger, you're married?!" Francine shouted.

"Here, let me explain to you guys" Roger recalled.

 **Flashback**

" _Stan and I got a little carried away with the sake. Then, I see some fascinating things_ " Roger recalled as he and Stan were each taking turns drinking on a bottle of sake. They start walking all dizzy and many things start to show up from out of nowhere. There were dragons, talking giant babies, buildings run by dark spirits with some wearing white masks, walking pigs with some flying on planes, a flying castle, a little girl flying with a broom, giant wolves, fish with little girl faces, and other creature from Hayao Mizaki movies.

(A/E Play _One Summer's Day_ while reading this part.)

" _I thought we were in that world where us people are not allowed but then again I'm not totally human so Stan was screwed. Anyways, then I saw this beautiful girl who dropped her purse on the lake. I came to the rescue and then_..." the alien remembered as Suki was seen with her purse falling in the water. He rescues it and gives it back to the girl, who blushes and kisses him.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Then what?" Hayley wondered.

"She asked me if I wanted to marry her and I said yes" Roger answered.

"I don't recall that!" Stan snapped.

"Yes you did" Roger remembered.

 **Flashback**

"Stan, I'm getting married!" Roger exclaimed.

"That's great buddy! When's the wedding? Let's make it now!" Stan cheered in a drunken tone.

 **Flashback End**

"Then I married Suki and ran away. So that's that. I'm now a husband" Roger finished.

"Roger, why didn't you tell us?" Steve asked.

"I didn't know what was going on okay? Stan and I got a little carried away with the sake!" Roger snapped.

"A little carried away?! You were gone for an extremely long time!" Francine shouted.

"Some roommate you are Stan. I was completely bored the entire night!" Michael recalled.

 **Flashback**

Michael is reading a book at his hotel room.

"I should peep if my wife is undressing, but my daughter is in there so I better what. I know I can play with this!" he recalled as he takes out…a Tiger handheld game.

"Yeah, who said I'm too old to play video games?" he asked himself as he plays.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Oh my God, you still play those?! Who the hell plays those stupid toys?! (Sigh) I do too! I just love them okay?" Jeff said as he crossed his arms.

"So now what are you going to do about this marriage?" Francine wondered.

"Roger and I are legally married so we should be together like a married couple" Suki answered.

"Suki my darling, I'm sorry but there has to be a mistake. I live with the Smith family. I can't stay here in Japan. I love you, but I'm not really to be a married man" Roger explained.

"No, you married me and you're going to stay married!" Suki snapped.

"Roger, this better not affect Zoey's performance, neither should you lady!" Steve said.

"I promise no interference!" Suki vowed.

"Okay then now that you're my wife, what should we do?" Roger asked.

"I'd say we go out on as a married couple" Suki answered.

"Well, that's that. So Zoey's next match isn't until a few hours, anyone want to go get snacks?" Michael asked.

"Sure" everyone answered in unison as they stood up and walked.

"Oh boy, I get to have some candy!" Jeff cheered while he gives baby Mary to Francine to hold.

"Jeff, no! I love you very much, but you get extremely crazy when you eat candy made outside of the United States" Hayley said.

"I don't" Snot said.

"Babe, that is not true! I am a good boy" Jeff said.

"You're not a boy anymore. You're a dad now" Hayley added.

"Do you really go crazy eating candy Jeff? I thought hippies are okay with that stuff" Steve said.

"They do, but Hayley won't let me have any fun!" Jeff complained.

"Remember our honeymoon to Mexico?" Hayley recalled.

Flashback

Jeff and Hayley go inside a Mexican candy store which is known as a dulceria.

"I'll take everything!" Jeff cheered as Hayley crossed her arms in anger.

"Fine, _quiero todo"_ Jeff said as Hayley rolled her eyes in anger

Flashback Ends

"Not to mention the trip to England!" Hayley added

 **Flashback**

Jeff is running around in circles just like in the Three Stooges.

"Woo woo woo woo woo" he said as his face is covered with lots of chocolate.

"Guys I'm so sorry!" Hayley apologized as her face turned bright red.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Babe, I promise to control myself" Jeff vowed.

"Well okay" Hayley said.

Meanwhile, Zoey is looking at the flowers Steve gave him.

"I love my boyfriend" she told herself. Suddenly, she walks around and whistles a tune. She peeks at some place. It was Big Red, looking at a photo.

"I have to beat him" she told herself. "How in the world would he leave his mom to fulfill his destiny to be the greatest trainer in the whole world? The world may never know" Zoey left.

Meanwhile, Roger and Suki are dining at a sushi bar.

"So uh what do you do for fun?" the alien asked.

"I like dancing" Suki answered.

"I like sitting on the couch and watching TV" Roger added.

"I'm glad I married you. My ex-boyfriend left me to fulfill his journey that he never told me about" Suki said.

"Well, he's a douche bag, no?" Roger asked.

"Roger, how would you feel about being a parent?" Suki asked.

"Whoa, I think there's a mistake. I'm not the dad at all. We just got married and I want a divorce" the alien snapped.

"Well too bad! We're married and deal with it!" Suki shouted.

"Not if I can help it" Roger threw wasabi at her face and runs off.

(Screaming)

"Oh God, I'm dead aren't I?" he asked himself.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

The rest of the Smith family, Zoey's parents, and Snot walked inside a store.

"Ooh, what's this?" Francine said as she picks up a box of…Mr. Sparkle detergent.

"Asian Homer Simpson? Has the world gone mad?" Jeff wondered.

"Jeff, he's only a fish shaped like a light bulb" Steve said.

"I heard that he transformed cute girls into sumo wrestlers" Snot added.

"Yes he does" Steve agreed.

Jeff sees the Japanese candy section, only for Hayley to block his view.

"Hey Jeff, how about I buy you a dirty anime? That way, Mary will be a big sister" she asked in a seductive tone.

"No babe. I think I'll pass" Jeff refused.

"How about this? I'll sleep in my t-shirt and panties for a year?" she requested.

"You do that all the time" he said.

"Oh crap you're right" she agreed. "(Sigh) fine, you can buy only one piece of candy but that's it. If you go crazy, I'll file for divorce. Oh who am I kidding? I can't divorce Mary's dad. Just please behave!" Hayley pleaded.

"I promise babe" Jeff accepted her plea.

"Steve, what are you doing?" Hayley asked.

"Hey Hayley, I'm buying some firecrackers. It's going to be awesome. Plus they have the three Egyptian God cards here! This is awesome!" Steve cheered.

"(Laughs) I got every Exodia card here! I will never lose at Yu-Gi-Oh ever again!" Snot exclaimed.

"Oh my God, he's a fraud!" Stan shouted as there was a fat guy in a Goku costume.

"Goku is not that fat! Get out of here fatty!" he shouted.

"Oh my God, it's Crush 40!" Steve cheered as he sees a CD of the band. "I'm buying this!"

Meanwhile, Roger is still on the loose after attacking his wife.

"How am I supposed to tell her I don't want to stay married? I'm a Smith alien, not a husband" he asked himself as Suki and a bunch of police officers are chasing him.

Meanwhile, everyone else returned to the area where the Pokemon tournament is being held.

"Zoey's next. Go sweetie!" Kat cheered on her daughter.

"Where's Roger?" Stan asked himself.

Meanwhile, Roger got extremely tired of running away that Suki found him.

"There he is, stop him!" she ordered as cops surrounded the alien.

"I didn't do anything back! I swear!" Roger cried.

"Where are the drugs?" one of the cops demanded.

"What drugs?" Roger asked.

"Wait, that's not the guy who stole the drugs? Oh man, we're out of here!" the cops leave.

"Roger, learn to accept that we're married and deal with it" Suki said.

"(Sigh) listen, I have to be honest. I got drunk from sake, okay? I want to live with my family. I love you but I'm not ready to be a married man. Isn't there another way out of this?" Roger asked.

"Well, can you beat me in _Dance Dance Revolution_?" she asked.

"Anything" the alien pleaded.

"Tell you what: if you beat me, I will divorce you. If you lose, you're stuck here forever!" Suki instructed.

"You're on!" Roger shook hands with his 'wife'.

Meanwhile, Zoey's Milotic is fighting against someone's Walrein.

"Milotic, use Dragon Pulse!" Zoey ordered as her Pokemon creates a direct hit on her opponent's Pokemon.

"And with that move, Zoey is one step closer to facing Big Red in the finals!" the announcer said.

"Walrein, use Blizzard!" the opponent ordered, but it choked as it missed the move.

(Oohing)

"That's going to hurt so much" the announcer added.

"Finish him up with one final Hydro Pump!" Zoey ordered as Milotic makes that move and declared victory.

(Cheering)

"Zoey Wilson has advanced to the finals against Big Red" the judge announced.

"All right Zoey" Steve and Snot stood up and jumped and hugged each other.

"Wow Jeff, you look well-behaved" Hayley said.

"Thanks babe. I guess I'll wait until the finals to eat this candy" Jeff added.

"Of course" Hayley said as she rolled her eyes while chuckling.

Meanwhile, Roger and Suki are at a _Dance Dance Revolution_ arcade. They start dancing in the video game. The song choice is the Nyan Cat song.

"Hell no pen!" the alien shouted while breaking the fourth wall. However, Suki is winning by 4000 points.

"Come on Roger, think for a sec" the alien said to himself as he does some bizarre dance moves to equalize Suki's score.

(Cheering)

"I'm still going to be your wife" Suki attempts to cheat by spitting on Roger's dance floor, but the alien counters as he does a break-dance.

(Loud cheering)

"You're not going to win that easily" Suki said as she shakes her butt as she taps her feet.

(Wolf whistling)

"Oh yeah?" Roger mimics the same.

(Roaring)

The two continue to dance as the song is almost finished. Suki attempts to do her finishing move and successfully do so, only for Roger to do it better!

The game is over…and Roger wins by 1 point.

"Yes, I win! I'm free! So long sucker!" the alien taunted.

"Well, congratulations" Suki left as she ran off, crying.

"What's her problem?" Roger asked himself.

Meanwhile, Zoey is getting ready for the final battle. Steve shows up.

"Zoey, are you sure you want to continue? He's hard, you know" Steve said.

"I don't know. I'm scared" Zoey said.

"You got this girlfriend" Steve added with a smile.

"Thanks babe" Zoey kisses him.

"All I know is that Big Red always wins with one attack. I'm not trying to scare you but you got this" Steve said.

"Thanks for the advice Steve" Zoey added.

"Win or lose, we're still together" Steve whispered as the couple hug and kiss while the chorus of Never Say Never by The Fray plays.

"….( _she's going down)_ " Big Red thought to himself.

Roger returns with the rest of the Smith family.

"Hey guys, Suki and I are now divorced!" he cheered.

"Then why is she crying nonstop over there?" Stan pointed out at Roger's ex-wife.

"Excuse me for a sec" Roger said as he walked away.

"Hmm, maybe this is the right time to eat this candy" Jeff said.

"Jeff, you're not helping" Hayley snapped.

"What? Roger almost separated us" Jeff explained.

"Suki, I'm sorry you lost and that I'm not your husband anymore" Roger apologized.

"It's not that. I think I'm pregnant!" Suki cried.

"Say what?!" Roger exclaimed.

"Oh man, things got too spicy for the pepper!" Francine cheered as everyone glared at her.

"What?" she asked.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

"What do you mean we're pregnant? I haven't even done it with you!" Roger shouted.

"I know, but the fact that I don't have a husband for my baby showed that I'm going to struggle" Suki added.

"Who's the father?" Roger asked.

"Him" Suki pointed at…Big Red.

"The reigning Pokemon champion?! Are you serious?!" Roger shouted.

"I married you so my baby can have a dad, but since you desperately want to divorce, it's not going to happen" Suki cried.

"Whoa, hang on a sec. You need to tell him the truth. You have to take Big Red back! If not, I'll be there for the little guy" Roger suggested.

"You would do that for me? You will help me win back my ex-boyfriend?" Suki wondered.

"I'll help you. Watch this" Roger said as he left and went to approach Big Red.

"… ( _What do you want_?)" Big Red asked.

"Your ex-girlfriend is pregnant and you're the dad. Please take her back!" Roger pleaded.

"… ( _Not now I'm busy_ )" Big Red snapped.

"It's true!" the alien shouted. "Fine, I'll take care of the child myself then!" the alien left.

Later, it was the final battle between Zoey and Big Red. Zoey chooses her Milotic while Big Red chooses Snorlax.

"Snorlax, use Body Slam" he ordered as it attacks the pink Pokemon.

(Oohing)

"Come on Zoey, don't give up!" Steve encouraged.

"Milotic, Hydro Pump!" Zoey ordered, but her Pokemon is left paralyze.

"Excuse me but is that your girlfriend?" Suki asked.

"Yes, what about her?" Steve asked.

"I think I can help her win" Suki suggested as she stood up and walked down.

As the battle continues, Milotic is struggling.

"Come on Milotic, use Recover!" Zoey ordered, but it could not move.

"It's over madam" Big Red snapped as his Snorlax is about to defeat Zoey's Milotic. "Now Snorlax, finish her off with Body Slam!"

"Zoey, no!" Steve shouted as the heavy Pokemon was about to slam the pink sea creature until…

"STOP!" it was Suki.

"I'm sorry but the tournament cannot be interrupted. No exceptions!" the judge ordered.

"You don't understand! Big Red, I'm pregnant with your baby!" Suki shouted.

(Gasping)

"Snorlax stop! I'm sorry but what did you say? Is that the same thing that weird looking guy told me?" Big Red wondered.

"Ma'am, I'm not going to tell you again!" the judge shouted.

"Sir, as the defending champion, I demand you give us a quick timeout!" Big Red ordered.

"You have 5 minutes!" the judge ordered.

"Red, I'm sorry but I love you! I want you to take me back! I know I haven't been a perfect girlfriend for you but hear me out, my baby needs a dad. I thought marrying Roger was a good idea, but it made things worse. Please give me one more chance!" Suki begged as tears stream down her face.

"(Sigh) you do sound sorry. Are you divorced?" Big Red asked.

"Yes" Suki answered.

"Okay you know what? I quit! Zoey, congratulations! I want to spent all my eternity with this beautiful girl and become a dad. I can finally become a doctor, just like my daddy wants me too! So long suckers!" Big Red waved as he carried his wife, but she got off for a bit.

"Give me one second" she said as she approached Roger.

"Thank you Roger for giving me the courage to win back my love. If things don't wrong, feel free to take me back" Suki said as she kissed the alien's forehead and leaves with Big Red.

"Wait Suki!" Roger ordered as the couple stopped.

"I want to be help you guys since I'm not married anymore. I'll send in $100 a week to help you guys out" Roger suggested.

"Thank you Roger" Suki smiled.

"I really appreciate it man" Big Red smiled too. "Bye!"

"I did it! My first international kiss!" Roger exclaimed at Stan.

"Well ladies and gentlemen, due to technical difficulties and due to Big Red withdrawing the match, the winner…and new champion is….ZOEY WILSON!" the judge announced.

(Cheering)

"Way to go Zoey!" Steve cheered as he takes off his orange shirt and waves it around. Everyone around him looks at him in disgust.

"Sorry" Steve stopped and sat down.

Zoey smiles at the people as she receives the trophy from the judge. She waves at them as well.

"Congratulations Zoey! As the winner of not only this special trophy, you also receive a special prize? You guys ready to see the mystery prize?" the judge asked everyone.

(Cheering)

"It is…" he announced as a curtain opens, only to reveal…

"…a year supply of Japanese toilet candy!" the judge exclaimed.

(Record scratching)

"Uh thanks for the prize, but I rather have this trophy. I'll give my prize for the people that came with me to this trip. Thank you ladies and gentlemen!" Zoey cheered.

(Cheering)

"I love her! More candy for me, yes!" Jeff jumped out and down like a child.

"Oh God!" Hayley covered her face in embarrassment.

Later, as everyone and everything from the area left, it was the Smiths, Wilsons, and Snot who are left.

"What do we do with all this candy?" Jeff wondered. "I guess I can put some in my pockets or in this case, all of it!"

"Jeff, you can't possibly eat all of this!" Hayley added

"You're right. How about this? I'll take only 100 of these and give the rest for charity" Jeff explained.

"Good idea" Hayley agreed.

"Can I have some too?" Snot begged.

"Sure kid" Jeff agreed as he pats Snot's head.

"Zoey, I'm proud of you. You did an amazing job!" Steve said as he makes out with his girlfriend.

"Thanks babe. I wouldn't be upset if I lost should Big Red not withdraw. I hope one day we will have a rematch" Zoey added.

"We still have a few days left. What should we do?" Michael asked.

A few days later, the Smiths, Wilsons, and Snot are riding on the plane to go home. Everyone brought a little something to remember from Japan: Stan ( _High School of the Dead_ DVD), Francine (cat figurine), Hayley (mask), Mary (Hello Kitty doll), Jeff (candy), Steve (firecrackers), Kat (kimono), Michael (fan), Klaus (koi fish toy), Roger (a photo of his ex-wife Suki), Zoey (trophy), and Snot (sushi and candy).

"We had a good time, right guys?" Stan asked.

"Yes!" everyone cheered in unison.

Roger looks at the window.

"Are you okay Roger?" Zoey asked.

"I'm fine Zo. I miss Suki already" the alien explained.

"I'm sure you'll find someone else one day pal" Steve added.

"Thanks man" Roger smiled as we see Big Red and Suki having a meal at a restaurant many distant miles apart from the plane and Japan.

The screen fades to black.

(Credits Roll)

Many days later, Stan is back at the CIA, trying to knock on Bullock's door.

"Sir, are you done?" he asked.

"No, I'm in a meeting. Go away!" he shouted, off-screen. Inside his office, he is only wearing an undershirt and boxers as he is watching _High School of the Dead_ on a TV.

"This show is so hot! All right, I'll give Smith his promotion tomorrow. One more episode" he said.

 **End of Act 3**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter! See you next week. Only 6 more episodes left. This is pen123 signing off!**


	15. Silent Six

**I don't own anything, especially the songs, but I only own my OC Zoey Wilson.**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the Smith household. Hayley and Jeff are looking inside the attic.

"Babe, I know I have this toy I used to play with when I was a baby" Jeff said.

"Do you know the name of it?" Hayley wondered.

"No idea babe" Jeff said as he picked up a few boxes to move.

"Let's see here: Roger's tighty whities, Steve's karate trophy from 2nd grade, and the first pair of condoms we used when we had sex for the first time, ooh, what's this?" Jeff asked as he saw a photo.

"What is it babe?" Hayley asked.

"Babe, you didn't tell me you were in a band" Jeff was amazed.

"Jeff, I wasn't, well not for a long time ago. Let me see" Hayley said as Jeff hands her the photo. It was her and five other girls as a rock band.

"What band is that? Are you the original Black Sheep?" Jeff asked in an excited tone.

"Not really, but our group name was Silent Six" Hayley answered.

"Silent Six? Isn't it a bit ironic because you make music and music is never silent?" Jeff wondered.

"Oh no (laughs) it was a catchy name. We were a popular band until we got into an argument to see who the lead singer was" Hayley explained.

"So you never performed a song then?" Jeff asked.

"I'm afraid not" Hayley answered.

"Babe, I'd say reunite with them. That way, you can show us that you still got it" Jeff suggested.

"You really think so?" Hayley asked.

"Only one way to find out" Jeff added. "Oh there it is, my Slinky!"

"Jeff, that's a terrible toy for Mary!" Hayley snapped.

"Yes ma'am, but I still get to play with it" Jeff said as he plays with the Slinky and laughs along the way.

Later, Hayley visits a house and it was the home of Kristen from _Faking Bad_.

"Hi Kristen, do you remember this band?" Hayley asked as she showed her the photo.

"Oh my God Hayley, yes I do. I was the bassist of the band. It must be Silent Six. Oh my God, it's been forever" Kristen said. "I wish Danuta and Zooey were here, but they're not. I know the rest of the girls. Do you want us to contact them?"

"Sure, why not?" Hayley answered with a smile.

"Hello ma'am, you need something to drink?" a butler asked. (A/E He is voiced by Neil Patrick Harris.)

"No I'm good. Thanks anyways" Hayley said as she left.

Later, Hayley and Kristen were with four other girls.

"Audrey, it's so good to see you" Kristen said.

"Thanks girl. Hey Hayley, how are you?" Audrey said. She has long brown hair that reaches her hips. She wears a green tank top, blue jeans, and red sneakers. Her voice actress is Bella Thorn.

"Good to see you Audrey. Hey Taylor, how you been?" Hayley answered and asked.

"Hayley, it's good to see you" Taylor responded. She has long black hair. She wears a white top, jean shorts, and brown boots. Her voice actress is Anna Paquin.

"Hey girls, remember me? I'm Luisa" the girl with short red hair wearing a red shirt and blue jeans with red sandals answered. She is voiced by Kristen Schaal.

"Hey Luisa! Oh boy Jenny you're here!" Kristen cheered.

"What's up?" the girl with short black hair, black shirt, black skater skirt, and black sneakers answered. She is voiced by Megan Fahlenbock.

"Hello ladies, anything to drink?" the butler asked.

"Actually sir, I'll have some fruit punch" Hayley requested.

"Make that 6" Kristen suggested.

"Six punches, coming right up" the butler left.

"Perfect, the old band is back together. The big question is who should be the singer?" Audrey wondered.

"Guys, I want to show you something" Hayley said as she shows the girls a video on her phone. It was her singing at Roger's bar.

"Hello ladies; your punches are here" the butler left them at the table.

"Hayley, you're perfect. You should be the lead singer!" Taylor cheered.

"All right! The ongoing mystery is over! Crap, I got my pants covered in punch!" Hayley shouted.

"I can take them" the butler said as Hayley removes her pants and gives them to him, revealing her white panties. She covers her underwear with her hands.

"Oh relax Hayley, it's just us girls and besides my butler has a boyfriend" Kristen said. "Here, this will make you feel better" she removes her skirt, revealing her light blue panties.

"Thanks Kristen" Hayley said.

"So ladies, I was thinking the band should be the likes of The Donnas, Metric, Evanescence, and so on" Audrey suggested.

"Only The Donnas were an all female band" Hayley added.

"Well, we can still be badass" Taylor said.

"Okay how about a song where we talk about a guy who broke our hearts and raw away with it?" Kristen suggested.

"How about a song where the guy falls in love with a girl only for the girl to leave him with his bully?" Hayley suggested.

"I can't think with you two ladies standing in your underwear" Taylor snapped.

"Madam, you're jeans are clean and ready" the butler said as he hands Hayley her jeans back. Hayley puts them back on.

"That was fast" Hayley said with a smile.

"Better?" Kristen asked as she puts her skirt back on.

"Yes" both Taylor and Hayley said.

"Good, hey guys, I got the perfect song" Jenny said.

"Is it something funny?" Luisa wondered.

"Not at all, but something dark instead; I call it…Black Sheep" Jenny revealed.

"I heard that song before" Hayley added.

"I give up" Jenny frowned.

"We can still use it. We'll give the original band credit and I'll sing it" Hayley suggested.

"Perfect. Ladies, do you remember the instruments you used to play?" Kristen asked.

Unbeknown to the ladies, someone is spying them.

"Perfect!" it was Roger using a pair of binoculars.

"Roger, what are you doing?" Jeff asked.

"Hey Jeffrey, I was looking for…Mars" the alien lied.

"If you're spying on my wife, knock it off!" Jeff snapped.

"I saw her undies!" the alien cheered.

"So? I see them all the time" Jeff rolled his eyes and left. "Oh wait a second…" Jeff kicks him in the groin.

"What the hell was that?!" Roger cried.

"You pervert! If you don't mind, I need to give Mary a bath" Jeff walked out as Roger was wincing in pain.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Hayley walks back home. Roger is sitting on the couch.

"Roger, what are you doing here?" Hayley asked.

"Oh nothing, I just wanted to ask if you…wanted a manager for the band" the alien answered.

"Why?" Hayley wondered as she crossed her arms.

"Oh come on Hayley, do you want to be famous or not?" Roger asked.

"Fine, but behave! Three strikes and your ass is fired!" Hayley snapped but accepted Roger's deal.

"Awesome. Oh and by the way, nice undies!" Roger laughed as Hayley kicks him in the groin.

"What the hell is it with people kicking me?! Is it because I sent Jeff into outer space?!" the alien cried.

Days later, a bunch of people are sitting at the auditorium. Steve and Zoey are in audience, along with the rest of the Smiths and Wilsons. Jeff is holding on to baby Mary, while she wears earmuffs.

"Ladies, you ready for this?" Hayley asked the ladies as they were backstage, all wearing black dresses and high heeled boots.

"We got this girl!" Luisa smiled.

" _And now ladies and gentlemen, presenting you the band that reunited from high school for the very first time, here's Silent Six!_ " the announcer said as the curtain opens to reveal the band.

(Cheering)

"Oh my God, your sister is the lead singer?" Zoey asked in an amazed tone.

"Hayley's an awesome singer Zoey. I haven't seen her perform with a band" Steve added.

"Hello Langley Falls!" Hayley shouted as the audience cheer for her.

"Good luck girls!" Roger encouraged while wearing a blue polo shirt, jeans, brown shoes, and a black hair wig.

(Music plays)

 _I see you in the ages_

 _My heart filled with rages_

 _My goal for you to die_

 _So time could fly by_

(Cheering)

 _Why do you hate me?_

 _Why do you hate me?_

 _What did I do to you?_

 _What did I do to you?_

 _It hurts to see you go._

 _When the lights are turned down low_

 _I went away to the park._

 _I want to kiss your tears away tonight_

 _I regret the day we left._

 _You never thought you'd leave_

 _It was cold and lonely._

 _I wish i could say tonight that when you bend_

(Cheering)

"So far so good" Roger said as he was watching them.

Later, the band performs a different song.

"You guys heard this one before, but I changed the lyrics and I don't own the song so here goes nothing" Hayley said as the band starts the music.

"I think I heard this one" Zoey said.

"You know?" Steve asked.

"OH YEAH!" Hayley shouted.

"Oh crap" Steve whined.

 _Hello again friend of a friend_

 _I knew the end_

 _Our common goal was waiting for our worlds to blend_

 _Now that the truth is just a rumor that bend_

 _You cross the path_

 _Shake shift and trick_

 _The pain of wrath_

 _Standing my head all aboard_

 _Looking everywhere_

 _Everyone, ooh_

 _Pulls away, ooh_

 _From you…._

"Something tells me Hayley changed the lyrics" Steve said.

"Hayley admitted she did and the band was okay" Jeff added.

Later, the band performs other songs.

 _Seth MF is the son of the devil_

 _His cold heart is a whole new level_

 _I wish he would go away_

 _In a world of sea on a bay_

(Cheering)

And another…

 _What are you doing here?_

 _What are you doing here?_

 _You broke my heart_

 _Like a metal pointy dart_

"I love it!" Roger cheered.

Finally, the band receives a huge standing ovation.

"HAYLEY! HAYLEY! HAYLEY! HAYLEY!" the audience shouted.

"Thanks to this awesome band, we couldn't have done it, so please don't forget to credit them. Good night everyone!" Hayley cheered.

"Ladies, you did it! We're going to be the next big thing!" Roger cheered.

"You mean…"Jenny wondered.

"We're famous now!" Roger shows the band the cover of Rolling Stones magazine.

Days later, we see a montage of the band touring around the United States, performing the same songs during the montage.

Later, they are riding inside a party bus.

"Woo! Let's party!" Audrey cheered as the band mates got drunk on champagne.

"HAYLEY! HAYLEY! HAYLEY! HAYLEY!" a lot of people are outside of the bus, holding posters of Hayley.

"Hayley, what's all this?" Kristen asked.

"Oh the little kids have a crush on me. How cute is that?" Hayley laughed.

"I'm cute too" Kristen said.

"Guys come on, we're supposed to be a band, remember?" Taylor said.

"You're right. I'm sure it's a onetime thing" Audrey said.

Later, the band is getting ready to perform at Madison Square Garden.

"Go out there and kick some butt ladies!" Roger encouraged.

"We're performing just one song to prove we're ready" Kristen said.

"Here goes nothing" Hayley said as the band went onstage to perform.

" _Silent Six!"_ the announcer cheered.

The band performs _Black Sheep_ again.

"Okay, I hope the ladies don't cause drama" Roger said.

 _Standing my head all aboard_

 _Looking everywhere_

 _Everyone, ooh_

 _Pulls away, ooh_

 _From you_

 _It's a mechanical bull at number one_

 _Go take a ride from anyone_

 _Everyone wants to ride_

 _Pulls away, ooh_

 _From you_

Hayley throws guitar pucks at the band.

(Cheering)

"Hey, we needed those!" Jenny shouted while she performs the drums.

"Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen! Please don't forget to check our website. Thanks ladies. Don't forget to ask for our autographs and take photos with the members of the band!" Hayley encouraged as the band went backstage.

"Hayley, what are you doing?" Audrey asked in an angry tone.

"Guys, I mean girls, I made the band popular" Hayley answered.

"Hayley, you need to stop showing off!" Taylor snapped.

"How was I showing off? I did nothing wrong. I kept my dress on and what not" Hayley added.

"Well, every time you sing with that voice, we're being ignored" Jenny said.

"Guys, I told you I told the fans to support you also" Hayley pleaded.

"I'm sorry but we're a band, remember? Therefore, you're out of the band!" Taylor confessed.

"WHAT?! WHY?!" Hayley shouted.

"We want to be popular too!" Kristen explained.

"I'm not going to say it again. I told you I told the fans to give you guys credit! I'm doing my best to make sure I don't become one of those snotty popular singers that care about themselves!" Hayley added.

"I'm sorry but Silent Six is now Silent Five" Audrey said in a quiet tone.

"The fans asked us where's Hayley or we want Hayley's signature but not us" Luisa added.

"Guys, I even asked you to sign their autographs too but you said no" Hayley snapped.

"But we want to be asked not requested" Jenny argued.

"You really don't want me anyone huh?" Hayley whimpered.

"I'm sorry but it's time for a singer who's not hot and us being better than the singer" Kristen said.

"(Crying) I thought we were friends!" Hayley cried as she ran off.

"Boy that was too spicy for the pepper!" Roger laughed backstage.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Hayley is lying on her bed, crying.

(Door knocking)

"Unless it's Jeff or Mary, go away!" she cried.

The door opened to be…Zoey.

"Not even me?" she asked.

"Hey Zoey, what's up?" Hayley asked.

"Hayley, what happened?" Zoey asked.

"I got kicked out of the band because they blame me for taking too much attention. I tried to tell them we should be equal but no I'm being blame because fans love me" Hayley explained.

"Hayley, it's not your fault. I know you're not a show off! You're too nice to be one" Zoey said.

"You really think so?" Hayley asked.

"I know so. It's like expelling a student for getting straight A's by studying hard, you know. Don't forget, I hope they'll come crawling back and demand an apology" Zoey added.

"Thanks Zoey" Hayley hugs her.

"Anytime pal. See you later. Steve really wants to show me how to play Kingdom Hearts" Zoey added with a smile.

Later, the band is hosting auditions to look for a new lead singer.

"Name?" Kristen asked.

It was…Dipper Pines from _Gravity Falls_. As he was going to open his mouth…

"NEXT!" Kristen shouted. Then it was Barry, Toshi, Snot, Lisa Silver, and many people, but none were accepted.

"I guess we can stick to Silent Five" Audrey said.

"Yeah, why not? I call dibs on lead singer!" Kristen cheered as the rest of the girls groaned.

The next day, Stan picks up the newspaper which reads "SINGER FIRED FOR BEING TOO POPULAR: BAND IS RENAMED SILENT FIVE".

"Huh, that's interesting. The weather calls for rain and yet it's sunny as hell" Stan laughed for a moment.

We see Hayley playing with her daughter Mary.

"That's why mommy should never reunite with her high school friends. They form bands and fire the nice member because they think they're better than everyone else. I don't believe in that" she talked to her in a cooing tone.

(Mary laughing)

"At least I have one satisfied fan" Hayley said.

"What about me babe?" Jeff asked.

"Fine, two satisfied fans" Hayley said.

"Don't forget us" Steve and Zoey walk by while holding hands.

"Anyone else?" Hayley asked.

You see me typing as I also raised my hand.

A few days later, the band is performing at the auditorium where Silent Six originally play.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Silent Five!" the announcer said as the curtains revealed the band minus Hayley.

(Silence)

"Where's Hayley?" one fan asked.

"1, 2, 3 4!" Kristen started the music.

(Booing)

"WE WANT HAYLEY! WE WANT HAYLEY! WE WANT HAYLEY!" the crowd up roared. "THIS BAND SUCKS! THIS BAND SUCKS!"

"Okay, you know what? Screw yourselves you spoiled brats!" Kristen throws her guitar at the audience, but the audience retreated.

"Kristen, what was that?" Taylor asked.

"These fans are nothing more than stupid bandwagon fans!" Kristen shouted.

"You don't have to act like a bitch!" Jenny snapped.

"Who are you calling a bitch?!" Kristen screamed as she and Jenny started fighting.

"Ladies, stop! Ladies, I realized something. Hayley brought peace within the band together and that's why we became popular. We had chemistry until we decided it was a smart idea to fire her. Look what we have done. The fans hate us and unless we do something, Silent Five is no more" Luisa explained.

"We have been real bitches huh? I guess we owe Hayley an apology" Kristen suggested.

"Ladies, what are you doing?" Roger walks in.

"Roger, we need Hayley back. The band will not go anywhere unless we get her back" Taylor explained.

"Fine with me" Roger said as the girls left while the alien takes out a cigarette.

Later, the ladies arrive at the Smith household.

(Door knocking)

Steve opens the door.

"Ladies, I'm sorry but I'm already taken" he tried to close the door, but was stopped.

"No kid, we need to see your sister" Kristen explained.

Hayley walks down, looking pissed.

"Hi ladies. You came to fire me again?" she crossed her arms.

"Hayley, we're deeply sorry for firing you! We need you! I thought you were taking attention away from us, but you weren't. You were keeping the band together and we feel like crap for removing you! Will you please ever forgive us?" Kristen begged.

"Oh Francine look, some bimbos want to be with Hayley. Maybe a pillow fight can settle things straight" Stan suggested.

"STAN!" Francine shouted.

"My bad. Carry on ladies" Stan leaves.

"I don't know. Maybe I'm too popular to be with you. Maybe the profit for the band is too much for me" Hayley walks back upstairs.

"Please Hayley? We promise to never get rid of you again!" Taylor cried.

"Well you do seem sorry. Sure I forgive you" Hayley smiled as the girls share a group hug.

Jeff walks in while holding baby Mary.

"Dear Penthouse forum…" Jeff smiled as the ladies glare at him.

The next day, the band performs at a concert and the last song is _Black Sheep._

"Give a round of applause for Silent Six!" Hayley announced.

(Cheering)

"Ladies and gentlemen, I want to say sorry for us firing Hayley and being rude and disrespectful to you guys as well. We love you and we promise to not hurt anyone ever again! We love you all!" Kristen announced.

(Cheering)

"Hayley, you were badass!" Kristen smiled.

"Thanks Kristen" Hayley added.

"Hayley, we're sorry we doubted you. I feel that you are the best member ever, instead of being the worst. What do you say we continue touring?" Audrey suggested.

"Thanks, but the only band I want to be is with my husband and daughter" Hayley answered.

"Fine with me. How about you perform with us one final time on Saturday?" Taylor suggested.

"I'd like that very much!" Hayley cheered.

(Credits roll)

"Ladies, that was marvelous! We should rename Silent Sluts! We'll make millions!" Roger suggested but the ladies glare at him.

"Why do people not like me?" Roger asked as he looks down. "I told you I was sorry for sending Jeff into outer space! It wasn't my fault. It was Seth's!"

"Come on ladies!" Hayley said as they left.

 **End of Act 3**

 **There you have it ladies and gentlemen. It was hard to create songs and use them also, but I'm hoping that it worked well. I hope that this is somehow better than that Family Guy episode "Into Harmony's Way". Read and review and peace out, folks.**


	16. I Am Mary Fischer, Hear Me Walk and Talk

**I don't own anything except for my OCs.**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the Smith household. Steve and Hayley, while holding on to baby Mary are watching TV together.

"We now return to _The Last Airbender 2: The Rise of Kyoshi_ " the TV announcer said.

 **Cutaway**

"Aang, it looks like we're doomed for the rest of our lives" Katara said.

"It can't be over! I need to show I world I have mastered all four elements of bending" Aang explained as they are fighting Zuko and his army.

"Where's Sokka?" Katara asked as a note passed by.

"Katara, I can't make it to the fight. I found Suki and I'll be back soon.-Sokka"

"I thought she was cut from the movie" Katara said as she broke the forth wall.

"So was I and you don't hear me complaining. Oh that's right; I waited until the end!" Azula cried.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"M. Night Shyamalan tries to hard, huh? This has nothing to do with the Kyoshi warriors" Steve chuckled.

"Steve, I was thinking of teaching Mary how to talk. Would you like to help me?" Hayley suggested.

"I like that. Since Zoey is gone on vacation to Denver with her parents, I need some time with my sister" Steve agreed with a smile.

"That's great, little brother. Okay Mary, would you like to learn how to talk? First, we will give you something comfortable to wear in place of your PJs" Hayley cooed at her daughter, who gives her a confused look.

" _What's going on? Oh great, I have a guy's voice, don't I?_ " Mary thought to herself. (A/E Her inside monologue is voiced by Patrick Stewart.)

Later, Steve and Hayley found an outfit for the baby.

"Steve, how does this look? A green shirt with blue overalls, a little baby bonnet that resembles Jeff's fishing hat, and brown baby sandals?" Hayley asked.

"I like that, but shouldn't you wait for Jeff?" Steve wondered.

"He's busy working right now" Hayley answered.

We see Jeff looking bored at an office cubicle.

"Well, at least I'm earning good money" Jeff told himself

Later, Steve and Hayley are at the living room with baby Mary.

"I'm Steve. Who am I?" Steve asked his niece.

Mary simple gives him a blank look.

"Okay Mary's not talking sis" Steve said.

"Give her time Steve. She's only a baby" Hayley added.

"Okay, you should teach her" Steve said.

"Can you say mama?" Hayley asked her in a sweet tone.

Mary simply yawned.

"Wow, this isn't as easy as I thought it will be" Steve added.

Meanwhile, Stan and Bullock are looking at some device at the CIA.

"Sir, what is this thing you were talking about the other day?" Stan asked his boss.

"It's simple Smith. This is the baby voice-actor. You simply attach it to a baby's throat and it talks" Bullock said.

"Okay but does it work well?" Stan asked.

"Watch and learn" Bullock said as he gets a baby girl and attaches a string around her neck. He presses a button and lights blink for a moment.

"Say daddy" Bullock ordered.

"Daddy" the baby girl answered. Her voiced is done by Tara Strong.

"It works" Stan cheered.

"What did I tell you Smith? You can use that for your granddaughter" Bullock suggested.

"I'll do that someday, only if Hayley is okay" Stan said.

"Good luck" Bullock replied.

Meanwhile, Steve and Hayley are still teaching the baby how to talk.

"Say Steve. Say my name" Steve begged.

" _This is boring. How long is my nerdy uncle going to talk?_ " baby Mary thought to herself.

Jeff enters the house.

"Hi guys" he said.

"Hi Jeff; Steve and I are trying to teach her how to talk" Hayley explained.

"Babe, I thought we were going to teach her how to walk" Jeff said.

"I guess we can do that" Hayley agreed as she stopped for a moment. "Okay sweetie, I guess we'll take a break from teaching you how to talk. Why don't we teach you how to walk instead?"

" _Oh great, another unnecessary lesson for me. All I want is a nap_ " Mary thought for herself. " _I got it._ " Mary began to cry.

(Crying)

"Oh no, it must be her naptime. I forgot about it" Hayley said. "Come on sweetie; let's no nappy time" she cooed her daughter as she carries her to her crib.

"Boy, parenting is worse than life huh?" Jeff wondered as Steve glared at him.

"What? It's hard okay? I'm sure you and Zoey will struggle too" Jeff added.

"Yeah right" Steve rolled his eyes.

Meanwhile, Stan and Bullock are testing so many babies with the device.

"Oh my God, what did you do sir?" Stan wondered.

"I don't know Smith. Apparently, we can't get these kids to shut up!" Bullock complained.

"Are you sure you want me to use it on my granddaughter?" Stan asked.

"Don't worry Smith. I'll figure something out" Bullock answered.

Meanwhile, Steve, Hayley, and Jeff are sitting on the floor of the living room.

"Guys, we're having trouble teaching Mary how to do anything. I love her, but she needs to learn how to walk and talk if she wants to fit in" Hayley said.

"Babe, don't worry. If it makes you feel better, I did not know how to walk until I was 5" Jeff added.

"Our baby cannot wait until she's 5. That's ridiculous Jeff" Hayley said.

"Oh Hayley, I didn't know how to walk until I was five. So what were our first words?" Steve wondered.

 **Flashback**

We see baby Steve only in a diaper walking towards Francine.

"Come here honey" Francine cooed her baby son.

"Franny" baby Steve said.

"What?! It's mommy!" Francine told him.

"Franny!" baby Steve cheered.

 **Flashback Ends**

(Laughter)

"Mine was worse" Hayley recalled.

 **Flashback**

We see baby Hayley in a diaper and a small headband as she walks to a sleeping Stan on the couch.

"Sodie!" she cheered.

"What?! You can talk now! Oh my God Francine; Hayley can talk! Is it mommy or daddy?" Stan asked as he and Francine walk towards their baby daughter.

"Sodie!" baby Hayley cheered.

"Great, we should have never given her Mr. Pibb" Stan complained.

 **Flashback Ends**

(Laughter)

"Mine was awful" Jeff remembered.

 **Flashback**

"Poopy" we see baby Jeff in a diaper and a hat holding on to a blue teddy bear.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Your first word was poopy? That's hilarious!" Steve exclaimed.

"I'm glad we had this conversation, but what are we going to do about Mary?" Hayley wondered.

"I don't know babe. I guess we'll wait it out until she's ready. Come on, let's have some lunch" Jeff suggested as they stood up and walked towards the kitchen. Unbeknown to them, baby Mary got out of her crib and were spying on them, with a sad look.

"So now what?" Steve asked as they are eating sandwiches.

(Step sounds)

"Mary?" Hayley asked in a shocked tone.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

"Mary, you can walk!" Hayley cheered. "Jeff, get the camera!"

"I got it babe!" Jeff exclaimed as he is recording the baby's first steps.

"How in the world did she walk downstairs all by herself?" Steve wondered.

"I have no idea. This is amazing! Wait a minute, are you possessed by the devil inside?!" Jeff freaked out.

"JEFF! No she's not!" Hayley freaked out.

"She must have learned it on her own" Steve said.

"Hi guys, what's happening?" Francine wondered as she walked inside the kitchen while holding a bag of groceries.

"Hi mom. Mary just learned how to walk all by herself!" Hayley cheered.

"That's wonderful honey. Hey sweetie, come to grandma" Francine cooed at her granddaughter and Mary walks towards her while laughing.

"I can't believe this day is happening! What's next, raining doughnuts?" Jeff wondered as a thunderstorm with doughnuts is falling from the sky. It was revealed to be Roger accidently throwing them on the ground.

"NO! My refreshments! Darn it!" the alien cried.

Meanwhile, Stan was driving home.

"Thank God that's over with" he said to himself.

"What are you talking about?" a male voice said. It is Cathy Weseluck voicing the baby boy.

"Well son, wait a minute?! What are you doing here?" Stan freaked out.

"You promise me to take me home" the baby boy said.

"Yes I did kid" Stan added. "Hang in there kid."

Meanwhile, Hayley, Jeff, Steve, and Francine are at the living room, watching Mary how to walk.

"Oh my God, she's a speed demon" Francine said.

"It's going to be hard catching up to her" Hayley said as Mary walks very fast. "Come here honey."

Mary sees Jeff's hat and takes it away from him.

"Hey, come back with my hat!" Jeff stood up and chases after Mary, who was laughing happily. She throws it back at him.

"Thanks honey" Jeff said.

"Hey Mary, you want my glasses?" Steve shows her his glasses, but the baby takes him and puts them on.

(Laughter)

"Look everybody, it's Steve Jr." Hayley joked as everyone continues to laugh. Baby Mary gives her uncle his glasses back.

"Thanks honey" Steve said.

Mary looks at Hayley's headband.

"Sorry honey, the headband belongs to mommy. I promise you'll get one when your 18" Hayley told her daughter as she smiles back at her mommy. Hayley kisses her on the cheek.

Stan walks in.

"Hi family, what have you been up to?" he wondered.

"Hi Stan. Your granddaughter finally walks" Francine explained.

"Oh in that case, come to grandpa!" Stan cheered on his granddaughter as Mary walks towards him while laughing.

"That's my sweetie" Stan holds a laughing Mary.

" _I like this. My family loves me_ " Mary thought to herself.

"Hey Hayley and Jeff, do you want Mary to learn how to talk?" Stan asked.

"Yes but nothing CIA related" Hayley explained.

"Yes Mr. S, as much as I would love to hear baby Mary talk, it's best if she doesn't learn the cheap way" Jeff added.

"Well, in that case, come to grandpa again" Stan played with his granddaughter as the family is having so much time playing with the baby.

"What's all the commotion?" Roger complained as he walked down the stairs, wearing a white nightgown.

"Roger, why are you wearing a dress?" Hayley laughed.

"Never mind that. Why are you guys laughing with the baby?" the alien wondered.

"Roger, Mary learned how to walk. You missed it man" Steve said.

"Oh she learned that. I taught her that" Roger explained.

"Say what?" Hayley and Jeff asked in unison.

"Yeah, it was the day you left me and the baby at the house alone that one day" Roger recalled.

Flashback

Roger and Mary are watching TV together.

"Mary, give uncle Roger a beer please" the alien ordered the baby, but she gave him a blank stare.  
"Oh tough guy, eh? Give uncle Roger a beer please!" the alien ordered but the baby continues to look at him all strange.

"Fine, you lazy baby. I'll get it on my own!" Roger complained as he stood up and went to the fridge.

"Oh no the baby" the alien saw that Mary was gone. "Oh no, if Hayley finds out I lost her baby, she'll kill me!" Roger looks everywhere for Mary, only to find her behind him, handing him a…water bottle.

"I said…I mean, holy cow, you're walking? This is awesome! Fine I'll take the stupid water bottle. You win kid" Roger surrendered as he carried baby Mary with him and they sat back on the couch.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Wait, you never drink water!" Steve shouted.

"I do now, you dork. The point is Mary learned how to walk from out of nowhere" Roger explained. "The point is, your baby can walk and you can thank me later."

"Roger, you should have told us that" Hayley said.

"I would, but nobody would believe me" the alien explained.

"That's true, but who cares? Our daughter can walk and it's awesome!" Jeff cheered.

"Now can she talk yet?" Stan asked.

"Dad, not yet. I'm sure someday she will" Hayley said.

"(Sniff) Mary, you need a diaper change!" Jeff exclaimed as he grabbed his daughter.

" _Oh no, I shouldn't have ate cinnamon apple sauce_ " Mary thought to herself as Jeff went to go change her diaper.

Meanwhile, at the CIA, Bullock decomposes the baby talking device.

"Oh God, I hope babies will not talk quickly ever again" he wondered.

The next day, Mary is sitting on her baby seat, waiting to be fed. Hayley walks down.

"Oh my goodness, you can walk to your seat sweetie? That's awesome!" she cheered. "Want some formula honey?"

" _Yay! Oh what the heck_?" Mary opened her mouth and said something.

"Mama" Mary talked. (A/E She is voiced by Madeleine Peters.)

"Oh my God, she can talk!" Hayley cheered.

"Say it again" Jeff said as he walked down the stairs. "I heard a baby girl talking. Is this the day?"

"Mama" Mary responded.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

The entire Smith family is at the kitchen.

"Wait a second Hayley, Mary can talk now?" Francine wondered.

"Yeah, all thanks to you Roger" Hayley told the alien.

"Wait a second Hayley. I did not teach her how to talk. She only learned how to walk" Roger explained.

"Okay Hayley, let's see if you're not lying. Can you say Steve?" Steve asked.

"Steve" Mary answered.

"Oh my God, she can talk. This is awesome!" Steve cheered. "Now say my girlfriend's name."

"Zoey" Mary answered.

"Are you some witch or something?" Steve wondered.

"Steve!" Hayley shouted.

"Sorry" Steve apologized.

"Say grandma" Francine ordered her granddaughter.

"Grandma" Mary responded.

"Aww!" the family cheered.

"Wait a second, dad did you teach her how to talk?" Hayley wondered.

"I did not Hayley. I kept your vow to not cheat her way into talking and I kept it" Stan explained.

"Good" Hayley added.

"Mary, how did you learn how to talk?" Steve asked.

"Uncle" Mary replied.

"Wow, she can talk but she can't answered" Steve said.

"I'm sure she'll comprehend one day, little brother" Hayley said.

Later, Hayley and Jeff are taking baby Mary to the park.

"Okay Mary, this is the park. Where would you like to play?" Hayley asked.

"Swings!" Mary cheered.

"Swings it is" Jeff said as he took the baby onto the baby swings and pushes her as she rides on it.

"Babe, want me to push you?" Jeff wondered.

"I'm good. Thanks Jeff" Hayley said as she got on the grownup, well older kids swings.

" _I love my mom and dad. I like where this is going. My work here is done. Take it away Madeleine_ " Patrick Stewart's inner voice leaves and Mary's current voice actress replaces him.

" _Whee! Whee!_ " she thought to herself.

Later, Hayley and Jeff are sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"Babe, I'm so glad our baby finally talked and walked. I'm sure she'll be a successful person" Jeff said.

"I couldn't agree more" Hayley agreed. Unbeknown to them, Mary is watching them, wearing her pajamas.

The next day, Hayley, Jeff, and Mary are eating out at Taco Belle.

"Thank God today's Taco Tuesday: 3 tacos for $2" Jeff said.

"Mary, here comes the quesadilla airplane" Hayley grabbed her food and does an airplane sound. Mary opens her mouth and eats it.

"Good girl" Hayley cheered.

"Hayley, I'm going to get more napkins" Jeff said.

"I want to do it" Mary said.

"Honey, you're sitting on the baby chair. You're way too little. Are you sure you want to get them for us?" Jeff asked.

"Please" Mary pleaded.

"Let her go Jeff. This is her first attempt to show us how much she has grown up" Hayley said.

"Well okay. Go ahead honey. I am worried because a lot of people are here for the $2 3 taco special" Jeff said as he takes baby Mary out of the chair and puts her down with her two feet.

"Oh my God, that baby is walking" some man said.

Dramatic music plays as baby Mary is walking towards the counter where the napkins, straws, and soda machine is at. She walks to get the napkins, but there are jerks getting in the way. Fortunately, Mary finds a clear path to return to her mother and father. She runs towards Hayley and Jeff with the napkins and gives them to her parents.

(Cheering)

Hayley begins to cry tears of joy.

"My baby girl is grown up! I am so proud of her! I love her!" Hayley cheered as she hugs Mary.

"She is grown up after all!" Jeff cheered as well.

"At least she got them safe and sound, unlike that guy" Hayley said as we see Hans Moleman from _The Simpsons_ filling his cup with soda, but he slipped on an ice and gets soda covering his body. Everyone except Hayley, Jeff, and Mary are laughing at him.

"Oh no, I got root beer in my underwear" Moleman complains, but Mary hands him a napkin.

"Thanks little girl" Moleman smiled as the baby girl returns to her parents.

Later, Stan and Bullock are working on a device to restore the baby voices back to normal back at the CIA.

"Sir, why did you invent the talking machine the first time and I didn't even use it?" Stan complained.

"No idea Smith, but it was an experiment" Bullock explained as a bunch of babies surround the CIA.

"(Sigh) make it quick. My granddaughter learned to talk on her own" Stan said.

"Yikes" Bullock added.

Late at night, Hayley and Jeff are reading Mary a bedtime story.

"…and so the pigs built a house made out of gold and it scared the big bad wolf away. The end" Hayley ended her bedtime story.

"(Laughs) did ducks swim inside the house?" Mary asked.

"Yeah they did, but it was only Scrooge McDuck" Jeff explained.

"Wow, what a jerk huh?" Mary wondered.

"(Laughs) yes he is honey. It's time to go to sleep. Goodnight honey. Thanks for walking and talking by the way" Hayley said as she kissed her daughter on the forehead.

"Goodnight sweetie" Jeff said.

"Mom, dad, where do babies come from?" Mary asked as Hayley and Jeff gave her a blank look.

"Uh, storks, yeah that's right" Jeff joked as Hayley crossed her arms and glared at him.

"What?" Jeff asked as the screen turns to black.

 **15 Years Later**

We see a teenage Mary Fischer, who has long dirty blonde hair the same length as her mother, skinny, and she is wearing a green blouse, blue skater skirt, brown heels, and a green neckerchief with pink flowers reading a report.

"My dad wanted me to use a device to talk, but I told him no and no became the first word I spoke when I was a baby. That's why I decided to never cheat and that day when I spoke my first word gave me an opening wakeup call. The end" Mary finished her report, which she received a standing ovation. (A/E Her voice is done by Amy Birnbaum, whose voice is similar to Téa Gardner from Yu-Gi-Oh.)

(Credits roll)

"Hey Mary, want to go out?" a nerd asked Mary out as she was packing her stuff to go home.

"Do you do drugs?" Mary asked.

"Look at my shirt" the boy is wearing a D.A.R.E. (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) shirt.

"Then yes. I don't want to do drugs or else my future husband will get sucked into outer space. I'm not letting that happen to me" Mary laughed as she and the nerd hold hands. The nerd gives his friends thumbs up and they do the same to him. Later, they are seen sleeping at the grassy area of a park.

"That my friends is how to treat a lady. Take her to a picnic and take a nap at the park" the nerd told the audience as he falls back asleep.

"10 more minutes" he said.

 **End of Act 3**

 **Wow, this is the first time I wrote a PG related chapter. Usually my chapters are PG-13, TV-14, but never a PG chapter. Oh well, this is a first for anything. I hope it goes well and I hope you enjoyed Mary talking. Remember that the next chapters are back to normal where Mary is still a baby, so please keep that in mind. Read and review and see you next time my friends.**


	17. Fluttershock

**I don't own anything except for my OCs. Come on people, let this be.**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the Smith living room. Steve and Mark were watching TV.

" _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_ is such an amazing show! I'm surprised so many adult guys love this show! It's kickass!" Steve exclaimed.

"Yes it is my man. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that. Plus Fluttershy is my favorite" Mark added.

"Indeed man. So Mark, I didn't know you were a huge fan of Fluttershy" Steve said.

"Well she is kind of pretty" Mark admitted as he slightly blushed.

"I feel the same way about Rainbow Dash. Please don't tell Zoey" Steve begged.

"Your secret is safe with me" Mark said as footstep noises were made.

"Oh crap" Steve frantically changed the channel to…some home shopping network.

 **TV Cutaway**

"We have here talking dinosaurs which can be used as a figurine and a coin dispenser and it cost $19.99. If you order now, you get two talking dinosaurs for free" the lady on the TV said.

 **TV Cutaway Ends**

"Steve and Mark, are you watching boring infomercials again?" Hayley asked.

"Uh no, there's nothing on TV really" Steve answered.

"You guys were watching _My Little Pony_ , weren't you?" Hayley asked.

"Fine we were. It's a good show, okay?" Steve answered.

"It's cool, only if Mary joins" Hayley suggested as her baby walked down the stairs and joined the boys.

Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus were driving on the road.

"So Klaus, this aquarium better be worth it. I'm missing _The Mentalist_ " Roger said.

"Oh relax Roger, I'm sure you can watch it on your DVR" Klaus added.

"What's so important about the aquarium? It's not like we're buying you a new friend" the alien said.

"Roger, remember the time the bet we made and that if I win, we go somewhere we want to go?" the goldfish asked.

"Yes and you won, so shut up already!" Roger snapped.

"Here we are" Klaus said as they entered an aquarium with a huge whale logo on top. Roger carries Klaus who was inside his bowl.

"We're here. My native people are here!" Klaus cheered.

"I thought some of your folks from Germany are you native people" Roger said.

"That too" Klaus smiled.

Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey are sharing a drink and donut at Dunkin Donuts.

"You know what's sweeter than this frosting? You" Zoey said in a seductive tone as she and Steve make out.

"Guys, get a room, will you?" Mark demanded as he was dispensing money in the cashier.

"Oh relax Mark, you get to see your friends here while you work and earn extra money" Steve added.

"You need a girl, Mark. Want me to hook you up with one?" Zoey suggested.

"No thank you. I can ask a girl out on my own" Mark answered.

"Let me guess: you never dated anyone, have you?" Steve wondered.

"Yeah I have, multiple times" Mark lied.

"Are you sure? What's her name?" Zoey wondered.

"Me" Mark confessed.

"Mark, it's not that hard. All you have to do is be yourself and some girl will make you happy" Steve suggested.

"I know. I heard that so many times. It's easier said than done!" Mark snapped as suddenly, a girl with beautiful long pink hair that reaches her hips, clad in a short yellow skater dress and pink boots arrive.

"Whoa, hello there madam" Mark said.

"Hello" the girl answered. Her voice actress is Andrea Libman. "My name is Adalene O'Brien. It's nice to meet you."

"Hi my name is Mark Johnson. Want me to take your order?" Mark asked.

"I'll have a medium coffee with a side of handsomeness" Adalene added. This made Mark blush hard.

"Well in that case, do you want to go out sometime?" Mark asked.

"I love to. Here's my number. See you handsome" Adalene said as she gives Mark the money and a slip of paper with her phone number as Mark gives her the coffee.

"All right Mark. See that wasn't too hard" Steve applauded.

"Yes! Does this mean I can get laid too?" Mark asked in an excited tone.

"Uh, let's not think about that man. Focus on how you're going to attract that girl" Zoey added.

"Damn it" Mark cursed to himself. "Steve, how did you date Zoey the first time you met her? Did you guys do it?" he wondered.

"Look at our rings" Zoey said as she and Steve showed him the abstinent ring.

"You guys are so boring. All you do is eat and kiss. I can imagine you guys 60 years from now" Mark imagined as we see an elderly Steve and Zoey sitting on the couch eating and watching TV.

"Yeah right, unless you remove studying and playing sports, we are not that boring!" Zoey snapped.

"Sorry" Mark apologized. "Anyways, I have to go."

"Mark, where are you going?" Mark's mom asked, off-screen.

"I'm going out on a date with a girl. See you later. Steve can cover for me" Mark answered as he left.

"No he can't" Zoey snapped.

"(Sigh) this is why we can't have anymore OCs here" Steve said as he broke the fourth wall.

Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus walk around at the aquarium.

"Klaus, this is so boring. It's nothing but fish being placed in prison. We haven't seen a shark eat a human at all! Can't we go home now?" Roger begged.

"Not yet alien. I need to find that one game" Klaus answered.

"Game? This ain't no arcade! Since when the hell do aquariums have games? My God, this is why I can't…" Roger was interrupted.

"There it is!" Klaus said as there was a whack-a-shark game.

"We arrived 40 miles all for some stupid whack-a-mole game?! That's it, let's go home" Roger demanded, but Klaus began playing.

"Yes! I finally beat my high score! Suck on it KH9200!" Klaus cheered.

"Oh yeah, watch this!" Roger shouted as he inserts a coin and plays the game.

"This is boring. We'll be right back" Klaus told the audience as the screen fade to black.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Mark and Adalene are eating at Pizza Overlord.

"So tell me a little bit about your life" Mark wondered.

"Well I'm French and Irish. I grew up in Canada though" Adalene explained.

"I'm from Sydney, Australia. I lived here for almost half a year. My pen pal Zoey showed me the life of America" Mark added.

"So any shows you like to watch?" Adalene asked.

"Well I like _Fear Factor, Pokemon, Digimon,_ and… _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_ " Mark answered.

"You like _My Little Pony?"_ Adalene wondered.

"Yes" Mark answered.

"Me too!" Adalene smiled.

"Really? I never talked to a girl that loved that show" he smiled as well.

"Any particular ponies you love?" she asked yet another question.

"Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash" Mark answered.

"Fluttershy is love. Fluttershy is life. Do you like my tattoo?" Adalene showed him her tattoo of Fluttershy's cutie mark on her arm.

"My God, you are so damn hot! Way hotter than my pen pal Zoey" Mark confessed.

"You're cute. Do you want to go to the park and hang out there?" Adalene suggested.

"I like nothing more" Mark agreed as they left, only to stop for a moment.

"We haven't eaten our pizza at all" Adalene said.

"Fine" Mark grabbed two slices and stuffed them in his mouth. Adalene takes a slice, rolls it up, and swallows it.

"Damn" Mark looked amazed.

Meanwhile, Roger is still playing the whack-a-shark game at the aquarium.

"I knew Roger would love playing it" Klaus told himself.

"Ha ha! I put $100 worth of quarters in this game, so that nobody would beat the record and I get to take home a prize!" Roger shouted as he keeps on playing the game.

"You stupid imbecile!" Klaus shouted.

Meanwhile, Mark and Adalene are walking at the park while holding hands.

"Mark, I need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back" Adalene said as she ran off for a bit.

"It must be the cheese huh?" Mark chuckled. However, many minutes later, he sees Adalene, saying a quote.

"Who could that be? It must be dark" Adalene said that in exactly Fluttershy's voice and flies for a bit. Unbeknown to her, Mark was watching her.

"What on Earth?" he asked himself. However, Adalene approaches behind his back.

"Sorry I'm late. I had the runs" she lied.

"It's all right. Hey look, I'm deeply sorry, but I need to get back to work. My mom needs me back. I'll see you tomorrow" Mark said as he kissed her on the lips and ran off.

"Goodbye, my love" Adalene said as she left. She looks down on her feet, only to see pony legs there.

Later, he ponders at Dunkin Donuts.

" _Is she really human? Is there something that I need to know? If Adalene is not the girl I think she is, I don't know what to do_ " Mark wondered as a bunch of angry customers are waiting for him to take orders.

"Oh crap, I'm deeply sorry!" Mark apologized.

Meanwhile, Klaus and a bunch of people want Roger gone.

"Come on man! We want a turn!" a bunch of angry people are in line.

"Shut up! I'll stop when I lose!" Roger shouted.

The next day, Steve and Mark are talking on the phone.

"How did your date go?" Steve asked.

"Dude I don't know. I saw her flying. Something tells me she's not human and believes that she is one" Mark explained.

"I'm pretty sure she must be an other kin" Steve added.

"What's that?" Mark asked.

"It's someone or something that identifies as partially or entirely non-human. They hide the fact to act and behave like human, but they're not" Steve answered. "I know, I watch a lot of World of Warcraft and anything involving RPG."

"I'll take you word for it" Mark said as he hangs up the phone.

Later, he visits Adalene's house and goes to her room to meet her.

"I'm so sorry for what happened last night. I want to make it up to you" Adalene explained.

"It's okay. What do you have in mind?" Mark wondered.

"Want to take our relationship to the next level?" Adalene asked in a seductive tone as the two starts making out with each other.

"What do you have in mind sexy?" Mark asked in a seductive tone as well.

"You're so hot" Adalene said as she removes her dress, revealing her pink bra and matching panties with green cupcakes on the hips.

"You're making me hot too!" Mark said as he removed his clothes, leaving him in blue boxers.

(Loud obnoxious girls cheering)

(A/E Oh my God, what the hell are you girls doing here?!)

The couple starts kissing nonstop, up to the point where Adalene begins to remove her bra.

"What are you doing?!" Mark shouted.

"I want to go all the way. Isn't that what you want us to do?" Adalene wondered.

"I love you, but I want you to tell me the truth" Mark said.

"What truth?" Adalene asked.

"Are you cheating on me?" Mark asked.

"We just met. I never cheat on a guy who I start dating" Adalene answered.

"Oh okay" Mark said as they resumed kissing. She began to slightly pull down her panties for a moment, until Mark stopped her.

"Are you human?" Mark asked.

"Excuse me?" Adalene asked back.

"Can I see you hand please?" Mark suggested as he finds out that it has no fingers. "Adalene, is there something you're not telling me?"

"(Sigh) okay fine, you win. I am really a human being with deformed hands" Adalene confessed.

"No you're not" Mark snapped.

"Fine I admit. I am…an other kin. I am not a human because I'm something else" Adalene admitted.

"What are you talking about?" Mark wondered as he got redressed.

"You see, I believe to be the reincarnation of a creature. I want to date someone like you because I never had a boyfriend. I want to show you what I'm talking about" Adalene explained as she got redressed.

"Mark Johnson, I will show you something that will shock you and the world. Here it is" Adalene shows him a place.

"What?!" he shouted.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

"This is the cult where people are the reincarnation of their favorite ponies" Adalene explained as they walk inside a building with humans thinking they are their favorite My Little Pony characters.

"I'm Rainbow Dash!"

"I'm Rarity"

"I'm Spike"

"I…Am…Batman" Mayor West from _Family Guy_ appears from out of nowhere.

"Sir, wrong show" someone told him.

"None of you care about me, not even the people reading this story" Mayor West suddenly vanishes.

"What are you saying?" Mark asked.

"I'm saying because I am the incarnation of her" Adalene answered as she hands him a photo of…Fluttershy.

"Fluttershy? Are you kidding me? Oh crap, I must have quoted her when she turned into the Hulk? Please don't tell me you're going to turn into the Hulk lookalike!" Mark begged.

"I am Fluttershy. So what are you?" Adalene asked.

"What makes you Fluttershy? Do you sleep naked at nights where Rainbow Dash goes inside your house from out of nowhere, which by the way did not need any logic since we're cartoons?" Mark wondered as he again broke the fourth wall.

"Are you or not?" Adalene demanded.

"Uh, I have to go" Mark runs away.

Meanwhile, Steve, Hayley, Zoey, and Jeff were playing Jenga at the Smith living room.

"Go Zoey" Steve said as his girlfriend takes a stick.

"Go eat worms" Zoey reads. "No problem" she takes out a bag of gummy worms and eats them.

"Damn it!" Steve cursed as Hayley and Jeff laughed.

"Watch this" Hayley said as she takes out a stick.

"Fart on your lover's face? I guess I'll have to end the streak" Hayley said as she was going to bend over…but Mark barges in.

"Steve, I need help!" Mark shouted as he got inside.

"Mark, what are you doing here?" Steve wondered.

"Come with me man" Mark said as he and Steve went upstairs.

"Oh wait a minute; I have a reject stunt stick. Nice try people!" Hayley taunted as Zoey and Jeff groaned.

"Mark, what's the matter?" Steve wondered. "Here, let's watch some TV in Roger's attic. He doesn't mind."

"Steve, what do I do? I love her, but I want to be away from her. She's driving me crazy!" Mark explained as the boys sat down and watched TV.

"Mark, just dump her. If you don't like her, then tell her how she feels. If she doesn't accept it, well that's too bad for her" Steve answered.

"That's easier said than done Steven. (Groans) why life sucks so much?!" Mark shouted.

"Oh crap!" Steve shouted.

"What's wrong?" Mark asked.

"It's that episode where Pinkie is despised by the public" Steve said as the episode _Filli Vanilli_ aired.

"That's it!" Mark shouted. "(Sigh) I'm going to have to act like a jerk, even if she's not human. So if haters want to harass me or pen123, go ahead and do so. Mr. Enter, you have permission to do an animated atrocity on this. I'm about to do something that's going to piss so many fans off. I just hope what I do will forgive me. I'll see you later Steven" Mark said as he stood up and left.

"Wait, what does he mean pen123 and Mr. Enter?" Steve wondered as both guys broke the fourth wall.

Meanwhile, Adalene is giving a speech.

"Long live the ponies!" she cheered.

(Cheering)

Mark arrives…dressed as Pinkie Pie.

(Audience laugh track)

"Oh be quiet!" he snapped.

"See you later guys" Adalene said as she left. "Mark, are you the incarnation of Pinkie Pie?"

"(Sigh) _forgive me lord_ " he told himself. "Well Adalene, that was totally unbelievable! I mean, the curtain came up and there you were, talking in front of every pony! And you know, I don't think any pony was jealous, 'cause there certainly wasn't an angry mob! But it must have been horrible standing there on stage, all eyes glued directly on you! It's like you were living your own personal worst nightmare!" Mark exclaimed. This made Adalene's eyes water.

"What did you do?!" Adalene shouted.

"Well you know…you know" Mark answered.

"Leave me alone!" Adalene runs away, crying.

"Oh crap, I knew this was going to happen. What have I done?" Mark asked himself as he looks sad too.

"Not cool man!" an old man, dressed as Applejack slapped Mark.

"Damn it. Now I feel bad. I need to make things right" he said as he ran and approached to Adalene, who was sitting on a log crying.

"What do you want?!" Adalene shouted.

"I just want to say I'm sorry" Mark answered.

"Are you going to stay stupid shit again?" Adalene asked in an angry tone.

"Oh my God, this is outrageous!" Mark shouted.

 **DING  
DING  
DING**

"NO! NO! NO! Only I say outrageous!" Stan snapped as he appeared from out of nowhere.

 **DING  
DING  
DING**

" _Congratulations! You said the magic word_!" I shouted, off-screen.

"There you go. Carry on" Stan giggled as he left.

"Anyways, I came here to say I'm sorry for being such a jerk. I just wanted to stay as a human, live like a human, and enjoy being a human. I know my actions were stupid and I bet a lot of people are probably writing threats to me or pen" Mark apologized.

"Who's pen?" Adalene asked.

"Never mind that guy. Anyways, I love you but I want to be a human and stay a human and be with a human. I hope you can forgive me" Mark said.

"Thanks for telling me the truth. I guess I shouldn't have pressured you into dating me without telling me who I really was. Thank you Mark for being a gentleman. I hope one day a girl attracts you and one day I'll find a guy who really loves me" Adalene said.

"Where will you go?" Mark asked.

"Where I am needed. Goodbye Mark, and thanks for everything" Adalene said as she kissed him on the lips one last time and suddenly…flies away.

The chorus of the song _Let Go_ by Frou Frou plays as Adalene disappears in sight.

Mark sheds a tear.

"I'll never forget you" he said while looking up in the sky.

Later, Mark and Steve are sitting on the Smith living room couch, watching TV.

"Sorry that your girl didn't work out well" Steve sympathized.

"Thanks man" Mark smiled.

(Credits roll)

"If it makes you feel better, we can talk about ex-girlfriends" Steve suggested.

"All right. My first girlfriend believes to be the incarnation of Fluttershy" Mark said.

"(Sigh) my first girlfriend was a fat, unattractive Goth" Steve added.

"That's rough, buddy" Mark said as Steve simply shrugged.

Meanwhile, Klaus and Roger arrive home.

"Who wants a balloon whale?" Roger asked in a cheerful tone. "I kicked Klaus' ass in that game to win this baby!"

"Cheater!" the goldfish angrily crossed his arm.

"I'm not going to ask" Mark said as everyone except Klaus laughed.

 **End of Act 3**

 **Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter. This was trickier than I thought. So I hope things went according to plan. Read and review and see you next week. This is pen123 signing off. Let me know if Mr. Enter sees this. I don't want to be scarred by him.**


	18. 3 More Tales of American Dad Couples

**I don't own anything except for my OCs.**

 **Act 1**

 **The Tale of Steve and Zoey**

The scene takes place at the Langley Falls mall. Steve and Zoey were doing some shopping. Zoey is currently modeling on a green dress.

"Does this make my butt look big?" she asked herself. "I hope he likes it. Steve, what do you think of this?" she opens the curtain in front of Steve, who was busy playing _Angry Birds_ on his iPhone. She clears her throat.

"Hey Zoey, I'm so sorry. I was just playing. Oh your dress looks gorgeous. You should try the pink one" he suggested.

"I would, but it reaches up to my thighs" she explained.

"That's all right. Any more dresses you're going to try on?" Steve asked.

"No, I think that's it" Zoey said.

"Good, do you want to go get some pizza?" Steve asked.

"Sure, give me a second. I need to go put on my normal outfit" Zoey answered as she was getting dressed to her normal outfit. As his girlfriend was getting redressed, Steve noticed a couple. It was a boy with big glasses, wearing a green shirt, blue overalls, and black shoes. He is being accompanied by a girl with really long blonde hair and wears a short purple dress and red heels.

"Why do they look similar?" Steve wondered.

Later, he and Zoey are sitting at the food court table, eating on pizza.

"I have been craving for spinach pizza babe" Zoey said as she smiles while eating.

"I'm glad you're having a good time. I have to tell you something. Does that couple over there look familiar?" Steve asked as he pointed the two people he saw earlier.

"What about them?" Zoey asked back.

"Something tells me they look exactly like us" Steve explained.

"What makes you say that?" Zoey wondered.

"You have a nerd and a supermodel dating. It's kind of like us" Steve admitted.

"Want to talk to them?" Zoey asked.

"Sure" Steve answered as they finished eating and approached towards the couple. "Uh, hello. I'm Steve, Steve Smith."

"I'm Zoey" Zoey introduced herself.

"Hello, I'm Nate and this is my girlfriend Brandi" the boy with the glasses said. (A/E His voice actor is Jon Heder.)

"Nice to meet you" Brandi added. (A/E Her voice actress is Stephanie Anne Mills.)

"What do you guys do for fun?" Steve asked.

"Well, we talk about dinosaurs, World of Warcraft, aliens" Nate answered.

"We talk about sports and modeling" Brandi added more.

"Uh, will you excuse us for a sec?" Zoey asked as she and Steve walked away for a moment. "Steve, I think you're right. They are copies of us! They look like us. They act like us. What does this mean?"

"Calm down Zoey. I'm sure they are nothing like us" Steve said.

"Hey Brandi, pull my finger!" Nate joked as he snorted a laugh.

"Eww no! You are such a pig Nathaniel!" Brandi shouted.

"Hey, that was my prank!" Steve shouted.

"Steve calm down. Besides, it is disgusting. I refuse to hear you fart" Zoey rebutted.

"Let's go. Let's go somewhere where they cannot be seen" Steve suggested as they left the mall.

Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey arrive at…the library. They are using the computers.

"Okay, what do we know about them?" Steve wondered.

"Nate is a nerd yet Brandi looks hot, except me ha ha" Zoey answered.

"He likes _Star Wars, Star Trek, and World of Warcraft._ I hope he doesn't, you know, turn into a girl. Please don't cross-dress!" Steve begged loudly.

(Shushing)

"Sorry" Steve whispered.

"I'm sure he's not trying to copy us, Steven Anita" Zoey said.

"What makes you say that?" Steve asked.

"For a nerd, you're badass" Zoey answered.

"You really think so?" Steve asked.

"I know so" Zoey smiled.

Unbeknown to them, Nate and Brandi are separated from each other, but are spying on them.

Later, as Steve was walking home alone, Nate approaches him.

"Yo Steven, what happened? You left pretty quick" Nate wondered.

"Hi Nate, listen how 'dorky' are you?" Steve asked.

"Ask me any questions about _Star Wars_ and there you go" Nate said.

The scene shifts to Brandi approaching Zoey.

"Hey Zoey, can I talk to you?" Brandi asked.

"Yeah, what's up?" Zoey wondered.

"I want to attract my boy/girl friend!" both Nate and Brandi said in unison as the camera splits the two.

"I thought being a nerd would make any girl love me" Nate told Steve.

"I thought being sexy would make any guy love me" Brandi told Zoey.

"Just be yourself. Just don't cross-dress, like I do when I'm Stacy. Oh crap" Steve confessed.

"Just be sweet. Don't be too sexy" Zoey suggested.

"I look weird cross-dressing, but thanks Steve" Nate smiled.

"I only play tennis" Brandi said.

"I'm not a huge fan but that's fine" Zoey said with a smile.

Later, the four went back to the mall.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Nate begged. "I choose you!"

"Oh my God, I love to" Brandi said as the two share a kiss.

"Wait just a second! Did you pretend to copy us just so you guys would make us play matchmaker?" Steve wondered.

"Yes we did. I thought it was funny" Nate laughed.

"(Laughs) you guys are all right. Well our work here is done. Come on Steve. Let's go home" Zoey said as they waive them goodbye and hold hands.

"Zoey, I realized something. I feel that lots of couples are trying to copy us. However, there's only one of us" Steve said.

"Yup, I couldn't agree more. I wouldn't mind having a twin sister or brother though" Zoey admitted.

"Same here Zo" Steve agreed.

"Well, what can I say? We are different after all. I thought they were mirror images of us but I guess not, which is good right?" Zoey said.

"I told you" Steve added with a smile.

"Are you ready to go home?" Zoey said.

"You betcha" Steve agreed as he carried his girlfriend. "Nice butt"

"You always say that" Zoey giggled as they went home while kissing and walking.

 **The End**

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

 **The Tale of Hayley and Jeff**

The scene takes place as Hayley is feeding baby Mary with her baby bottle.

"Who's a good baby?" Hayley cooed.

"Babe, are you busy doing anything this weekend?" Jeff asked as he approached to her room.

"Jeff, we have a baby, you know" Hayley said.

"I know that. There's this hippie convention at Langley Falls tomorrow but unfortunately, we can't bring in babies" Jeff said.

"Oh great, what are we going to do?" Hayley wondered.

"Perhaps I can watch the child" Roger said as he approached, wearing a female babysitter outfit.

"Roger, what are you doing here?" Jeff asked.

"Jeffrey, you guys need to go out sometimes. Go represent your people. Smoke some weed while you still has the chance" Roger said.

"Roger, I'm trying to be a more responsible mother. Ever since Mary was born, I need to not think about weed a lot" Hayley said.

"You guys can smoke when you're not with the baby" Roger suggested.

"I'm sorry but I don't really want to go, unless we take multiple baths together" Hayley added.

"I promise we'll shower like we never showered before" Jeff agreed.

"All right, for one day only, we're hippies again!" Hayley cheered.

"Yay! (Sniffed) oh come on! How can a sweet and innocent girl like Mary make something so horrible?!" Roger shouted as he went to go change her diaper.

The next day, Hayley and Jeff are riding in a van and then they suddenly find the location where the hippie convention was at. They parked for a moment and stepped out of the car.

"Hey guys. It's good to see you. I'm Lionel" an old man said, clad in blue overalls only. (A/E He is voiced by Tommy Chong.)

"Hello, I'm Jeff and this is my wife Hayley" Jeff introduced.

"Come on in, you guys. So this is where all the hippies go and hang out man" Lionel said as he showed the couple the land filled with hippies playing a guitar, smoking weed, dancing barefooted, and protesting with peace signs posters.

"WE WANT EQUALITY! WE WANT EQUALITY! WE WANT EQUALITY!" a bunch of hippie protesters shouted.

"Wow Jeff, that was us a long time ago. (Sniff) of course the stinky pee smell" Hayley recalled.

"Babe, this is how we met. If we weren't hippies, we wouldn't have such a cute daughter, would we?" Jeff asked.

"Whoa, you have a daughter? I'm sorry, but what's your name?" Lionel asked.

"It's Hayley" Hayley answered.

"Hillary, is that it?" Lionel asked.

"Hayley" Hayley rebutted.

"Oh I get it. Haley as in Haley Joel Osment. Are you the kid who sees dead people? Did you get a sex change? That's so awesome!" Lionel cheered as Hayley groaned in anger.

"Babe, calm down. He knows you. It's from all the weed babe" Jeff comforted his wife.

"Right here we have the most valuable marijuana there is" Lionel said as a bunch of hippies are sitting down acting lazy.

"Whoa, I just realized something. Chicks in undies are inappropriate yet guys in undies are comedy! That's so sexist!" one hippie exclaimed.

"Never mind that; why don't we have Earth-melon, fire-melon, or air-melon? We only have watermelon. How discriminating!" another hippie added.

"Oh my God, that's messed up" Hayley said as she chuckled.

"That's not all. Look over there" Lionel pointed them a bunch of barefooted hippies singing and dancing while having an occupy rally.

"We are the 99.99%! We are the 99.99%! We are the 99.99%! We are the 99.99%! We are the 99.99%!" all the hippies protesting in unison declared.

"So guys, any questions?" Lionel asked.

"Naw, we're good. Thanks Lionel…Messi" Hayley laughed.

"Not cool girl. I'm a huge fan of Cristiano Ronaldo. See ya" Lionel left the couple with a bag of weed.

"Babe, let's go smoke some now" Jeff said as he rolled a joint.

Hayley pondered for a moment. She visualized being high. Her eyes were bright pink. There were monsters and dinosaurs fighting everywhere. She sees baby Mary grown into a giant baby, like the one from _Spirited Away._ She sees herself falling 100 feet below the ground. She is screaming as well. The scene shifts back to the present.

"Jeff I can't" Hayley refused.

"Babe, what's wrong?" Jeff asked.

"Jeff, we're parents now. We're not the same hippies as we were anymore. I'm sorry but we need to be more responsible and not smoke any of these. I hope you can forgive me" Hayley confessed.

"Thank God!" Jeff exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" Hayley wondered as they walk away and threw the bag of pot on the ground. A bunch of hippies wrestler over it.

"I honestly thought you wanted to smoke some pot. I thought you wanted to relive those days" Jeff revealed.

"I thought you did" Hayley said.

"Well guess what? No thank you. I just wanted to spend some time with my lovely queen" Jeff said.

"Oh Jeff, you really know how to please a wife" Hayley said in a seductive tone.

"So what do you say babe? Want to make out like we have before?" Jeff suggested.

"You betcha" Hayley agreed as they began kissing on the ground.

"Whoa man, is this a Playboy show? I'm recording this!" Lionel cheered, but Hayley and Jeff stopped and ran away.

"What? Is it the camera? Oh wait, I forget to turn it on. Oh wait, who were they?" Lionel wondered.

Later, they arrived home, only to see Klaus…watching wrestling.

"Klaus, what are you doing watching wrestling?' Hayley asked.

"Roger dared me to watch it!" the goldfish argued.

" _Hey keep it down there. I don't want Mary to wake up!_ " Roger ordered.

"Let me guess; you love this stuff don't you?" Jeff asked.

"Yes I do. Is it too much for a fish to love wrestling?" Klaus asked.

"Want me to teach you some moves?" Jeff asked.

"I love nothing more" Klaus agreed.

"(Sigh) ding, ding, ding" Hayley added as she made a small smile and Jeff and Klaus wrestled while the song _Real American_ plays.

 **The End**

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

 **The Tale of Stan and Francine**

The scene takes place at the CIA. Stan is doing some office work.

"Oh Stan, give this to Francine" Bullock said as he entered. It was a gift wrapped with a bow.

"What's this? Is it your phone number? If so, I'm going to go crazy!" Stan snapped.

"You don't what it is, do you?" Bullock asked.

"Sir, I know that it's not our anniversary. It was a few months ago. Why do you want to give her a gift now?" Stan wondered.

"Isn't today a special day?" Bullock asked.

"Hmm, now that you mentioned it, it must be the 40th anniversary when she got adopted by Mama and Baba. Yeah, that's it" Stan said.

"No, that's not it" Bullock reprimanded.

A phone rings with the tune _Happy Birthday_ plays.

"Excuse me" Bullock said as he left.

The camera zooms outside of the CIA.

A long heavy censored bleep is made.

Stan quickly goes inside his SUV and leaves the CIA.

"Oh shit, I forgot that today is my wife's birthday! I could tell why she was so cranky this morning" Stan said.

 **Flashback**

"Good morning dear" Stan said as he kissed Francine, who was cooking breakfast.

"Good morning dear. Do you know what day it is?" she asked.

"Uh, it must be…Wednesday. It must be Hump Day. Thanks for the reminder Francine, now where's my breakfast?" Stan wondered.

" _Oh my God, he better not forget that today is my BIRTHDAY!"_ Francine shouted inside.

 **Flashback Ends**

"Oh my God, I need to give her a gift now! This is outrageous!" Stan screamed.

 **DING**

 **DING**

 **DING**

" _Congratulations! You said the magic word!_ " I shouted, off-screen.

"Pen, do that crap one more time and I'll shave yours and Hayley's heads off!" Stan shouted.

" _I'll be good_ " I whimpered.

"Aha!" Stan exclaimed as he entered a jewelry store. He goes inside to find something that Francine will love.

"Excuse me: I'm looking for a 43 year old wife will like" Stan said.

"Oh yes, you may want to give her this" the man working there shows him a fancy platinum necklace and ring.

"Oh my God, this looks beautiful" Stan cheered.

"Yes, do you want it or not?" the worker asked.

"How much?" Stan wondered.

"Look at the price" the worker shows Stan the price, which cost $300.

"$300?! Screw that, I'm out of here!" Stan drives off.

"Oh man. I forgot to erase the extra zero. There goes my job" the worker said in a sad tone.

Stan continues to drive to other places.

"I could give Francine the gift Bullock wanted me to give and claim it as my own. It's just not the same" Stan told himself as he sees another store.

"Welcome to _Barnaby's_. How can I help you?" a female worker asked.

"I need something for my wife fast!" Stan begged.

"Well what does she want?" she asked.

"I don't know!" Stan argued.

"How about this?" the worker shows him a cooking book.

"I want a birthday present, not a retirement present!" Stan snapped.

"Fine, how about this?" she shows him…a coloring book.

"Fine I'll give this to my granddaughter. I want something for my wife and make it snappy!" Stan ordered.

"How about this?" she shows him…a tiara.

"It looks gorgeous! How much is it?" Stan wondered.

"$1000" she answered.

"Damn it! Just give me the coloring book then" Stan said.

"Fine, it's $1.99" the worker said.

"Take it and I'm never coming here again" Stan gives her a $5 bill and storms off.

"You want your change sir?" she asked.

Stan goes inside to his SUV and drives off.

Meanwhile, Francine looks grouchy as she is washing the dishes.

"Some husband he is! Forgetting your wife's birthday, how amazing!" she snarled.

Stan is looking inside at every store at the Langley Falls mall.

"Oh my God, this is outrageous!" he shouted. However, nothing happens.

"Pen, I'm sorry for threatening. Please do you thing!" Stan begged.

 **DING  
DING  
DING**

" _Congratulations! You said the magic word!_ " I shouted, off-screen.

"Yay! I have my confidence back!" Stan cheered. "Okay, what would a wife want?"

Back at home, Francine is chopping some meat, very angrily.

"I am definitely forgetting your birthday, Stanford Smith!" she shouted.

Meanwhile, Stan stops driving for a moment and looks at the present that Bullock gave him to give to Francine.

"I really want to take a lot inside, but I can't. Oh man, what am I going to do?" he wondered as a bunch of cars are honking at him.

"Hurry up, you jackass!" a driver shouted.

"What the hell is the hold up, man?!" another driver screamed.

"Oh all right, I give up. I'll pay her lots of money or something" Stan told himself as he kept driving. He stops at the Smith household parking lot.

"I guess I'll open it and pretend that it's mine" Stan opens the present, only to see…a note from Bullock with a box.

"Dear Smith, in case you forget your wife's birthday, here's the present. You owe me $500 or else your pay will be deducted to pay for the present. Love Bullock" Stan reads out loud. He looks inside the box and then calls on his cell phone.

"Steve? Hayley?" Stan calls.

Later, Stan, Hayley (while holding on to baby Mary), Jeff, Zoey, Mark, Roger, and Klaus go inside the house. Mark and Steve were holding on to a very large cake that reads " **Happy Birthday Francine** ". Jeff and Zoey were carrying balloons and streamers.

"Francine, we have a surprise for you" Stan announced as Francine walks down the stairs.

"This better be it" Francine grumbled.

"SURPRISE! HAPPY BIRTHDAY FRANCINE/MOM/MRS. S!" everyone shouted, in unison.

"Oh Stan, this is perfect! I love it! Thank you so much! I thought you forgot my birthday!" Francine cheered as tears streamed down her face.

"I would never forget your birthday! Happy birthday, my darling!" Stan kissed her as everyone else cheered. "Here's your present!" Stan hands her the gift. It was a golden necklace that she always wanted.

"Oh Stan, I love it! Thank you!" Francine exclaimed as the two kiss again.

"Let's party!" Roger cheered as everyone begins to celebrate.

(Credits roll)

"Who knew that Mr. and Mrs. S would be one happy couple together?" Jeff wondered.

(Phone rings)

"Hello?" Jeff picks up his cell phone and leaves for a moment.

"Jeff, where are you doing?" Hayley asked.

"Dad, is that you?" Jeff asked.

 _To be continued…_

 **The End**

 **End of Act 3**

 **Well, there you have it. I'm deeply sorry for the delays. I was wrestling with the Wi-Fi and Microsoft Word all day. Both of them refused to respond, so it took me longer than expected. That's why it was delayed, so sincere apologies. Even sad news: I will be out of town next Monday for Labor Day. So the next chapter is next Tuesday. I'll have it ready by then. Read and review, and thanks for your cooperation.**

 **Oh yes, this was another version of the mini-tales episode of** _ **Avatar: the Last Airbender**_ **. I hope you enjoyed it. What does Jeff mean about dad? Find out next week.**


	19. Henry's Back

**I do not own anything except for my OCs.**

 **Act 1**

Previously on _American Dad_...

...

" _Oh Stan, give this to Francine" Bullock said as he entered. It was a gift wrapped with a bow._

" _What's this? Is it your phone number? If so, I'm going to go crazy!" Stan snapped._

…

" _Excuse me: I'm looking for a 43 year old wife will like" Stan said._

" _Oh yes, you may want to give her this" the man working there shows him a fancy platinum necklace and ring._

…

" _Who knew that Mr. and Mrs. S would be one happy couple together?" Jeff wondered._

 _(Phone rings)_

" _Hello?" Jeff picks up his cell phone and leaves for a moment._

" _Jeff, where are you doing?" Hayley asked._

" _Dad, is that you?" Jeff asked._

…

Presently on _American Dad_...

...

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place where we left of last time.

"Dad, is that you?" Jeff asked.

"Yes son, it's me. Listen, how do you feel about me coming over to where your girlfriend lives and just say hello?" Jeff's dad Henry asked. We see him calling from a telephone booth.

"I don't know Dad. You were never the best dad around" Jeff refused.

"Please son. I promise I'll make things right. I want to start over. I know I haven't been the number one dad in the world. I love you. Please let me come over and visit one day"

"Can you visit me sometime next week?" Jeff asked.

"Absolutely" Henry answered.

"Be here by noon" Jeff ordered.

"You have my word" Henry said as he hanged up.

"Who was that?" Hayley wondered.

"Babe, that was my dad. He wants to come over and visit me. I'm not sure if I want to though. I still haven't forgiven him for what he has done from the past.

"Jeff, it's okay. You forgave Stan and Roger for the abduction. I'm very sure you'll forgive him" Hayley added.

"You're right babe. Let's go back to partying with the rest of the family" Jeff suggested as everyone continued to party on Francine's birthday.

The next day, Jeff woke up, took a shower, got dressed in his normal outfit, changed and fed baby Mary, and looked outside the window.

"Please be my real dad again, dad" he told himself.

Moments later, Steve went over to his girlfriend Zoey's house.

"Hi Zoey" he said as the couple hugged and kissed.

"Hi babe, I made something for you" Zoey explained as she pulled her boyfriend to the kitchen.

"Wow Zoey, what is it?" he wondered.

"What do you think of this cake?" Zoey showed him…a dry spongy chocolate cake covered with lots of green frosting, which was dripping on the floor.

"It…looks good?" Steve wondered.

"Try it. It's amazing" Zoey gives him a slice. Steve takes a bite, only to make a face.

" _Oh crap, this is awful_!" he shouted inside his mind.

"What do you think?" Zoey wondered.

"(Gulps) what can I say? My girlfriend is 100 times a better chef than Gordon Ramsay!" Steve exclaimed.

 **Cutaway**

Gordon Ramsay is reading this story while cooking.

"That bloody booger; it's RAW! It's RAW!" he shouted on his laptop.

 **Cutaway Ends**

"Thank you so much!" Zoey blushed. "Steve, are you okay?" she saw her boyfriend's face being green.

"It's fine. I ate lots of green stuff yesterday. That's why my face is green. It's not because of your cooking" Steve lied.

"Oh good; want to try the chicken dish I made?" Zoey showed him a chicken platter.

"Okay" Steve tried the dish, but once again, didn't like it. However, he did not want to upset her.

"I'd say be a TV chef Zoey. You're an expert!" Steve said.

"Thanks babe" Zoey agreed.

"I need to go to the bathroom. Snot is calling me. I'll be back" Steve lied again and left.

"If he likes it, so can I" Zoey wondered as she tried the cake and chicken.

"Oh shit, it's terrible!" Zoey spat out as she cursed.

"Oh (bleep) I think I poisoned my boyfriend! What am I going to do? I followed the recipe really wrong! What the hell did I do wrong?!" Zoey panicked.

Later, Jeff is looking at photos of him and his dad when he was a little boy.

"Oh dad, I remember the day you showed me how to fart fire and mom got really pissed we stank up the whole house!" he told himself as he slightly cried.

Mary walks in.

"Daddy okay?" she wondered.

"Oh honey, daddy hasn't had the best relationship with your grandpa, who you never met before" Jeff explained.

"I have two grandpas?" Mary wondered.

"You have your mommy's dad and now you will meet your daddy's dad" Jeff said.

"Here" Mary gives him her pacifier.

"Thanks kid" Jeff…sucks on the pacifier.

(Phone rings)

"Mary, go play with some toys. Daddy needs to make a phone call" Jeff said as Mary went to go play as he takes out his phone.

"Hello?" Jeff answered.

'Hi son, would it be okay if I visit you in two hours instead of next week? I was driving by and I came by to your neighborhood" Henry suggested as he is driving.

"Sure I guess" Jeff agreed.

"Thanks! I'll see you in a bit" Henry hangs up.

Later, Steve is spending a lot of time in the bathroom.

(Farting)

"Oh my God, Zoey is going to dump me for being disgusting! I must be feeling what the ladies from _Bridesmaids_ felt!" he shouted.

Zoey is…throwing up on the lawn. Her dogs, George and Harold, approach to her.

"Take the fall and I'll give you $100 each" Zoey explained her gross situation.

" _How about a pack of Polish sausages and $200?_ " George barked as subtitles are shown.

"Deal!" Zoey pets the dogs.

" _Keep them raw_ " Harold barked.

"Fine" Zoey answered as she continues to vomit.

"Oh God!" both Steve and Zoey shouted in unison as the screen splits in half.

Meanwhile, Hayley was busy washing the dishes and whistling at the same time.

"Hi babe" Jeff entered as he was holding on to baby Mary.

"Hi Jeff, what's new?" Hayley asked.

"My dad is coming over in a few hours. I don't know if I'm ready" Jeff explained.

"Jeff, it's going to be okay. Don't worry" Hayley comforted him.

"Thanks babe" Jeff smiled as the scene shifts to a car driving to the Smith house slowly.

"Babe, do you hear that?" Jeff wondered.

"It's probably mom and dad coming home" Hayley answered.

"They're not going to be home until later. I think I know who's here. Mary, it's time for your nap" Jeff said as he takes his daughter upstairs.

"What about grandpa?" Mary asked.

"You'll see him in a few hours. Don't worry baby" Jeff answered as he took her upstairs.

Henry steps out of his car and proceed to knock the door.

Hayley opens it as Jeff quickly went down the stairs.

"Hello" Henry answered.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

"Hi, Mr. Fischer. It's so good to see you again. Come on in" Hayley said as she let him in.

"Hi son" Henry said.

"Hi dad" Jeff refused to look at his face.

"Jeff, it's your dad. Please show him some respect" Hayley pleaded.

"It's quite all right Ms. Smith. I don't blame him. You mind if I sat down?" Henry asked as Hayley let him sit on the couch.

"What are you doing here?" Hayley wondered.

"Well, what else is here? I want to visit my son" Henry answered.

"Hi dad" Jeff gave in as he went down the stairs to confront his dad.

Meanwhile, Steve got out of the bathroom and return to Zoey's living room. Zoey arrives as well.

"WE NEED TO TALK!" both shouted in unison.

"Steve, I'm so sorry for getting you sick!" Zoey cried as tears shed down her face.

"Zoey, I'm sorry for getting diarrhea from you cooking. I'm extremely embarrassed" Steve covered his face.

"Steve, don't apologize for getting sick. I should be the only one apologizing" Zoey added.

"I need to be honest. The food was awful. I said those things just to be nice" Steve said.

"Thanks for standing up for me. I guess I can't quit cooking" Zoey suggested.

"Don't say that. My girlfriend is never a quitter! In fact, I'm going to teach you how to cook" Steve suggested.

"Really?" Zoey wondered.

"Yeah, come over to my house and I'll help you cook" Steve said as they left the household.

"Hang on" Zoey told him as she went to give her dogs the Polish sausages.

"They're hungry" she explained as Steve nodded and they left.

Later, Jeff and Hayley are sitting next to Henry.

"So tell me dad, are you sorry for the past and wanting to frame me for that drug bust?" Jeff demanded.

"Son, I know what I did was stupid. I only cared about nobody but myself. I am deeply sorry for hurting you. I would never do anything to hurt this family. Ever since your mother disappeared, I had nobody to be with. I haven't seen you since you became a hippie. Son, I promise to change and make things right. What do you say? Are you willing to give your old man another chance?" Henry pleaded.

"You really did change. I'm sorry I ever doubted you" Jeff apologized as he started to cry and hugged his dad.

"Of course son. I want to be part of the family" Henry added.

"Dad, there's something I need to tell you. Hayley is NOT my girlfriend anymore. She's my wife" Jeff explained.

"You guys got married?!" Henry shouted.

"We did, dad. We even have a baby girl together. This is your granddaughter Mary" Jeff said as Hayley went upstairs to retrieve baby Mary.

"Hi Mary, it's me your grandpa" Henry played with the baby.

The baby coos.

"Oh my God, she looks just like the both of you. How old is she?" Henry asked.

"She's…" Jeff was interrupted.

"Never mind. All I care is that I have a granddaughter. This is amazing!" Henry exclaimed.

Steve and Zoey go inside the house.

"Hayley, Zoey and I are going to…hi sir. Who are you?" Steve asked.

"Hey Steve and Zoey; this is my father Henry. Henry, this is my brother-in-law Steve and his girlfriend Zoey" Jeff introduced.

"Nice to meet you" Zoey welcomed.

"Good to see you sir. Can you excuse us for a sec? I want to teach Zoey how to cook" Steve said as the couple left.

Later, Steve and Zoey arrive at the kitchen.

"The first thing you want to do is wash your hands" Steve explained as the couple is cleaning their hands on the kitchen sink.

"Next, what you want to do is gather some important items, such as a chef's hat, apron, bowls, spoons, and napkins" Steve added on more steps.

"After that, what happens next?" Zoey wondered.

"Then…look at what food you want to cook" Steve answered as they look over a cookbook.

Later, Jeff and Henry are walking at the park.

"So son, what do you say we make up some lost time as father and son?" Henry suggested.

"Only if we do it with a song" Jeff added as the two continue to walk together. The song _You're my Best Friend_ by Queen plays. They were feeding ducks, eating hot dogs and ice cream, buying balloons to give to a little boy who ended up flying to the sky but they ran away quickly, playing catch, and finally seeing the flying boy and rescued him back to his mother, who she slapped the guys.

"We deserved that" Henry said.

"We sure did" Jeff laughed.

Meanwhile, Steve and Zoey were cooking some cake. Roger walks in.

"Hi dorks. What are you doing?" the alien asked.

"Oh hi Roger; I'm teaching Zoey how to cook" Steve explained.

"Yeah well good luck with that. Her food taste like dog flatulence, very gross" Roger said.

"Thanks for embarrassing me stupid alien" Zoey growled.

"I'm happy to help. Well, good luck" Roger left.

Klaus arrives.

"Ooh, are you making brownies?" the goldfish appeared.

"Why does everyone need to know about this?" Zoey asked in an angry tone.

Mark Johnson arrives.

"Hey Zoey, when your done, would you mind sending whatever you baked for Dunkin Donuts?" he asked.

Greg and Terry arrived.

"Oh look Greg, a cute teenage couple is cooking up a feast"

Principal Lewis arrives.  
"Hey guys, what's for dinner?"

Vince Chung, Lisa Silver, and Amy also arrived.

"Why look, it's the two nerds cooking" Vince taunted as he and his girlfriends laughed.

"Everyone, get the hell out of here!" Steve shouted as everyone left.

"Mark, you can stay" Zoey added.

"Yay!" Mark cheered.

(A/E I guess I'm not wanted! Oh who am I kidding? I have better stuff to do.)

"Oh you're making a cake? Add some nutmeg. That's my secret recipe" Mark suggested.

"I like where this is going" Steve said.

"Yay, two guys helping me how to cook. I haven't felt this excited since forever. Sorry, I'm awful at flashbacks" Zoey explained as she broke the fourth wall.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Jeff and Henry arrived home, only for Stan and Francine to be waiting while sitting on the couch.

"Hey guys" Jeff said. "Dad, you met my wife's parents, haven't you?"

"Jeff, may I see you for a second?" Stan suggested as Henry and Francine chat. "Jeff, what the hell are you thinking?"

"Mr. S, my dad is a changed man. He loves me and cares about me. Please don't be such an ass over this!" Jeff pleaded.

"Son-in-law, he's nothing but trouble. He used you once just so he can get money. I'm sorry but he needs to leave" Stan demanded.

"No. My dad is a changed man. Whether you like it or not, he is staying" Jeff said.

"It's him or this place" Stan threatened.

"What are you talking about?" Jeff wondered.

"You get him out of here or both of you are gone" Stan said.

"Keep in mind that I'm married to your daughter" Jeff said.

"Well, we separated you two and we'll do it again" Stan added.

"Fine, we're gone. I tried to be nice. I'm out of here!" Jeff snarled as he walked away. "Come on dad, we're leaving. Stan doesn't want us to be here anymore. Neither do us!"

Hayley walks down the stairs, wearing only a robe.

"Jeff, I'm glad you're…where are you going?" Hayley asked.

"I'm leaving until your father accepts his change" Jeff explained.

"Please come back" Hayley pleaded.

"I will babe" Jeff kissed her and left.

"Hayley, do you have clothes on at least?" Francine asked.

"Yes" Hayley removes her robe, revealing a sports bra and shorts. "I was going to go on a run, but I guess not!" she snapped as she took her robe and went upstairs.

Later, Steve, Zoey, and Mark made a huge mess in the kitchen.

"Oh great, it's going to take forever to clean all of this mess up" Mark complained.

"Not really" Steve said as he quickly removed the mess within seconds with his super speed cleaning.

"That's your boyfriend" Mark said.

(DING)

"Let's try it out" Mark said as he takes out two cake plates. Each person took a piece and ate it.

"Much better!" Zoey exclaimed.

"Yes it is!" Mark cheered.

"Way to go Zoey!" Steve cheered.

"Thank you boys!" Zoey cheered as she kissed Mark on the cheek and kissed Steve on the lips.

Mark blushed.

"I did it! A hot girl finally kissed me! This is the best day ever!" Mark told himself as they decorated the other clean and uneaten cake.

Meanwhile, Jeff and Henry are finished packing stuff in Jeff's van.

"Let's go dad. Hang on, I need my hat" Jeff said as he left for a bit, only to fall down on a water hole.

(Screaming)

"Jeff, are you all right?" Henry asked.

"Yeah I'm fine, but HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO GET OUT OF HERE?!" Jeff screamed.

"Hang on, I'll get help" Henry said as he ran to the Smith household.

Stan and Francine are sitting on the couch, watching TV.

"(Laughs) John Cena is Slender Man in disguised. I knew it!" Stan laughed; only to hear the door knock.

"Stan, I need your help. Listen, if you don't believe me, your son-in-law or my son is in danger! Please help me!" Henry pleaded.

"Oh my God, Jeff!" Hayley cried as she went downstairs.

"Okay, I'll help you" Stan agreed as he and the rest of the people went outside.

"Mr. S, I'm glad you're help. Help me get out of here" Jeff said.

"Jeff, hang on. We'll get you out of there" Hayley said.

"Oh my God, you actually asked for my help? Usually, you would have abandoned your son, but instead you came to ask for help? Mr. Fischer, I am so sorry for doubting you! You did change after all!" Stan exclaimed.

"I told you" Henry smiled.

"Dad and Mr. Fischer, I'm happy you guys are together, but please rescue my husband!" Hayley begged as Stan and Henry got a rope and successfully rescued Jeff.

"Steve, did you hear that?" Zoey asked as they and Mark finished decorating the cake.

"They want our cake. Hurry and finish this!" Mark panicked.

"Wow, Mr. Fischer. You really did change. I'm sorry for being stubborn. I thought you cared about was money" Stan apologized.

"It's okay. I get that a lot" Henry accepted his apology.

"If you want, the CIA is looking for an assistant worker. I guess there's no harm working for me" Stan suggested.  
"I like that very much" Henry smiled.

"Good, you start Monday" Stan said as he and Francine left.

"I'm proud of you son" Henry hugged his son.

"Thanks dad" Jeff smiled.

"I'm happy to know I finally have a job. I promise to be a much better father than before" Henry added.

"Thank you Dad. Where will you live?" Jeff wondered.

"You can find me living 10 blocks away from where you live. The money I had left over paid for my house" Henry answered.

"I promise to visit you someday" Jeff added. "Can we do one more father/son activity before we depart?"

"What do you have in mind?" Henry wondered.

"Hey guys, who wants some cake?" Zoey asked as the three friends arrive.

(Cheering)

Meanwhile, the entire Smith family, including Mark Johnson and Henry Fischer, is eating Zoey's cake.

"Zoey, this cake is amazing!" Hayley exclaimed.

"Thank you Hayley. Thank your brother for helping me out" Zoey said as she kisses Steve.

"I'm happy to help" Steve smiled.

"For once, no tasting dog farts!" Roger shouted as everyone laughed.

 **Cutaway**

Gordon Ramsay is reading this story.

"What a crap ending huh?" he asked as he turned off his laptop

 **Cutaway Ends**

The last scene shifts to Jeff and Henry fishing on a boat.

(Credits roll)

"Son, do you like fish sticks?" Henry asked.

"Dad, I do, but I am not a gay fish!" Jeff laughed.

"What about the fish?" Henry wondered.

"Dad, that's cannibalism, isn't it?" Jeff asked.

"Oh relax. Oh no, you're right. Oh well, we only live once" Henry said as he hooks up a fish stick on a rod and throws it in the water. The fish underwater is looking up.

" _It's Tim! They're on to us! Run!_ " the fish mouths as they all ran away.

 **End of Act 3**

 **Well, that's it ladies and gentlemen! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm back from my trip. Next week is the season finale. Read and review and take care!**


	20. We Go Together

**I don't own anything except for my OCs.**

 **Act 1**

The scene takes place at the Smith household. It was late at night. Steve was sleeping peacefully.

 **Dream Sequence**

It was nighttime. Steve and Zoey were looking at the sky while lying down on the grass as they are cuddling with each other.

"The sky looks beautiful, huh babe?" Zoey wondered.

"It is darling" Steve answered as he kissed her.

"Hey guys, want to play tag?" Roger asked as he appeared.

"Sure" the couple agreed as they started chasing Roger. However, the alien grew an evil smile as a spaceship appears with abduction light showing.

"I got you Roger" Zoey ran to Roger, only for the alien to throw the girl into the spaceship and being sucked inside the vehicle.

"(Screams) STEVE!" Zoey is zapped inside.

"ZOEY, NO!" Steve cried, but the spaceship made the Road Runner sound and disappeared for good.

 **Dream Sequence Ends**

"(Gasp)" Steve wakes up from his bed. "Oh my God, it was only a dream. I can't lose my girlfriend! I just can't!" he takes out a photo of him and his girlfriend kissing. He looks at the clock, which reads 3:45 A.M.

"I can call her, but I don't want to be a pest. Oh well, help me rock music" Steve takes out an iPOD and listens to it while he goes back to sleep.

The next day, Steve walks down to the kitchen, getting ready for breakfast.

"Good morning guys! What's for breakfast?" he asked as Hayley and Jeff are feeding baby Mary.

"Hey Steve, mom said to pour yourself some cereal" Hayley answered.

"All right!" he cheered, only for Roger to appear.

"Hi, my fellow buddies. Who's up to catch some blond chicks?" the alien asked.

"You stay out of my girlfriend!" Steve screamed and he left with his cereal.

"Geez, what's his problem?" Roger asked. "I wanted to go to the farm and catch the baby chicks."

"He must be having a menstrual cycle, I guess" Jeff laughed as Hayley glared at him.

"Mommy, what's that?" Mary asked.

"Uh, that's something I'll explain when you're a bit older honey" Hayley answered as she rubbed her daughter's hair.

"You like my hat Hayley?" Jeff asked.

"Jeff, how long will you keep that stupid hat? I love it, but don't you take it off sometimes?" Hayley asked.

"Babe, it's my lucky fishing hat. I love it! I can't give it up. It's like my asking you how long you want to keep that headband" Jeff argued.

"You never wash that hat" Hayley rebutted.

"Neither with your headband" Jeff said.

"I do too!" Hayley rebutted.

"Yeah right" Jeff argued.

"What's going on?" Mary wondered.

"How about this? Let's make a bet. I don't wear my headband for a week. In exchange, you don't wear your hat. Winner gets to choose the next family outing" Hayley suggested.

"Fine, you are on!" Jeff and Hayley agreed. "Do you want to have sex first?"

"(Sigh) whatever" Hayley begins to stand up and unbuckle her pants, only to realize that Mary was present.

"Oh wait, we can't. Mary needs to change her diaper. Some other time babe, I promise" Hayley rebuckles her pants and picks up her daughter.

"Mommy, what's going on?" Mary wondered.

Meanwhile, Steve is reading his comic books while looking sleepy.

"I'm so sleepy" he told himself as his eyes suddenly closed. He dreamed the same thing that happened in his nightmare.

 **Dream Sequence**

"I got you Roger" Zoey ran to Roger, only for the alien to throw the girl into the spaceship and being sucked inside the vehicle.

"(Screams) STEVE!" Zoey is zapped inside.

"ZOEY, NO!" Steve cried, but the spaceship made the Road Runner sound and disappeared for good.

 **Dream Sequence Ends**

"(Gasps)" Steve wakes up again. "I have to protect Zoey!"

Meanwhile, Jeff is looking at his fishing hat at Hayley's room mirror.

"Babe, I can't go on without you" he said as he looked inside his drawer, which was filled with the same fishing hats.

" _We're still together_ " Hayley said, off-screen.

"I wasn't talking to you" Jeff snapped.

"My bad" Hayley apologized as the scene shifts to the bathroom where she takes off her headband.

"I don't look that bad without my headband. Jeff saw me without this before. In fact, it's how Mary was born" she told herself.

"Mommy, can you read me a naptime story?" Mary asked.

"Sure honey. Mommy wants to beat daddy in a bet" Hayley explained as she carried her daughter to their room.

Later, he goes over to his girlfriend's house, which Zoey was busy playing with her dogs George and Harold.

(Doorbell rings)

"Come in" Zoey said as Steve opened the door. The dogs barked at Steve.

"Hey, I'm your owner's girlfriend" Steve rebutted as the dogs settled down.

"Sorry, they do that a lot, especially to people I hang out with. What's up?" Zoey welcomed.

"Zoey, have you told anyone Roger's an alien?" Steve asked.

"Steven, I didn't. Don't you trust me?" Zoey wondered.

"I do 250,000%, but not everyone else" Steve answered.

"Who's everyone?" Zoey asked.

"My dad and his boss" Steve answered. "They work for the CIA, remember?"

"Steve, it's okay. Don't worry about a thing. My lips are sealed, except for this" Zoey starts making out with Steve.

"I love you so much babe" Steve said.

"Me too" Zoey blushed.

(Dogs barking)

"It's their lunchtime" Zoey explained.

"I'll help you out" Steve said as the couple go get the dogs' food. Unbeknown, Avery Bullock was watching them through a window.

"Alien, huh? This is interesting" Bullock smiled evilly. Suddenly, a tiny bird poops on his bald head.

"Damn it stupid bird! Damn you to hell!" he shouted angrily and he falls down as well.

(Screaming)

"I think I crapped my pants!" Bullock shouted.

"Who was that?" Steve wondered as he and his girlfriend fed the dogs.

"It must be those hobos wanting to sign petitions" Zoey answered as she checked outside. "Huh, nobody's there. Well then, never mind."

Also, Roger is spying on them.

"I know what's going on" the alien said as Bullock was walking in a weird position.

(Beeping)

"Oh crap, my pizza bagels!" he shouted and ran off.

 **End of Act 1**

 **Act 2**

Steve and Zoey are watching a movie in the living room. Apparently, Steve is hugging his girlfriend much tighter than before.

"Steve, are you okay?" she asked.

"I'm fine" he answered.

"I know you love me, but I need some arm space, if you don't mind" Zoey suggested as Steve let go of her.

"My bad" Steve apologized.

Later, Jeff and Hayley go grocery shopping without their hat and headband. Mary stayed behind with Francine at home.

"I look weird" Jeff added.

"How do you think I feel?" Hayley argued.

"Oh my God, you guys look cute together! Can I take a photo of you?" a random male photographer took photos of the couple.

"What's this?" Hayley wondered.

"I don't know babe. Something tells me we're celebrities!" Jeff cheered as the couple kiss, yet more photographers arrive and took more photos.

Meanwhile, Steve went home and went straight to the attic.

"Roger, where are you?" he asked, only for the alien is seen watching through a window.

"Hello Steven, do you mind explaining to me what you were doing earlier this morning?" Roger demanded.

"Roger, I'm sorry for screaming at you. I don't want to lose my girlfriend. I love her! Please don't separate us! I'm willing to sacrifice myself in order to save her! Please don't hurt us!" Steve pleaded.

"Wow, for a dork, you're pretty nagging. Okay fine, I promise not to hurt you or your girlfriend" Roger agreed.

"Thanks man" Steve said as the camera shifts to Bullock watching them.

"I knew it. I should report Smith about this. No, it's too obvious" Bullock said, but the same bird arrived and almost pooped on his head.

"Not this time" Bullock shoots the bird, but it voided its bowels, off-screen.

"DAMN IT!" he shouted.

Later, Hayley and Jeff left the grocery store, yet more people are following them while taking photos.

"I know you people love us, but please this is enough" Jeff snapped.

"Your hair looks gorgeous! Can we touch it?" a member of the paparazzi begged, but the couple ran away quickly.

"Babe, why do people love us?" Jeff wondered.

"No idea babe. This is getting out of hand. I love the fame and all, but this is out of control" Hayley answered, but more people are surrounding them.

"Quick Hayley fart!" Jeff suggested but she glared. "Do you have any other ideas?"

"I know" Hayley…takes out a sword. The people walk away from them.

"Babe, how did you do that?" Jeff wondered.

"I have no idea" Hayley answered.

"Hey, that's my sword. Give me that" a little boy dressed as a pirate took the sword away.

"Kid, I'll give you $100 bucks if you give me that sword" Hayley offered.

"Take it" he gives them the sword, along with Hayley paying the boy the $100.

"Babe, what was that?" Jeff asked.

"A little something called backup" Hayley answered.

Later, Steve is walking around in his room, talking to himself.

"Don't take my girl" he repeatedly says the same thing. However, Stan was about to go to the bathroom, only to overhear his son's talk.

"Steve, what are you doing?" Stan wondered.

"Dad, something weird will happen to Zoey. Please don't take her away" Steve pleaded.

"Let me guess: you told on the people about Roger?!" Stan shouted.

"What? No! I had a bad dream and I don't want it to happen!" Steve explained.

"Son, it's time we have a little talk: Roger or your girlfriend will have to go" Stan said.

"Dad, no! Don't do this" Steve begged.

"I'm sorry but it has to end like this" Stan explained as Steve began to cry. "I'm sorry son, but I have to in order to protect this family. I hope you understand."

"Wait, Stan. Don't break up the couple. I'll just go back to my home planet" Roger suggested.

"Are you sure?" Steve wondered.

"Of course, I promise not to interfere with your girlfriend or your relationship, so why better than send me into outer space" Roger explained.

However, Bullock is watching them.

"So wait, Stan is willing to eliminate his son's girlfriend to protect the alien? (Sigh) I guess I can't arrest them anymore. Otherwise, I would lose all respect from everyone. I wish there was a way to convince him to let the alien stay" Bullock told himself as he is wearing…an astronaut costume.

"Go ahead and crap on me birdies!" he shouted, only for the birds to fly away. "You better be flying!"

Hayley and Jeff quickly go inside home to Hayley's room.

"Babe, are they gone?" Jeff wondered.

"I hope so. Jeff, I give up. Let's cancel the bet. You can wear your hat. I'll wear my headband. Why don't we let Mary decide where we will go out for our next family outing?" Hayley suggested.

"That's a great idea babe" Jeff agreed as they went to pick up Mary from her crib.

"Mommy, daddy" the baby girl cheered.

"Honey, where would you like to go for our outing tomorrow?" Hayley asked.

"Chuck E. Cheese" Mary suggested.

"Good idea" Jeff agreed as he kissed her on her head.

Meanwhile, Steve runs to Zoey's house. However, she was giving her dogs a bath.

"Zoey, are you busy right now?" Steve asked.

"Almost done" she answered as she finished washing her pet dogs. "Okay boys, go play outside" she instructed as the dogs went to go play. She opens the door for Steve to enter.

"Hi Steve, what's going on?" Zoey asked.

"Zoey, I'm scared. Do you swear you haven't told anyone Roger's an alien?" Steve asked.

"Steve, for the millionth time, I didn't" Zoey answered in a frustrated tone.

"My dad is sending Roger away. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. I don't want you or Roger gone! Most likely my dad wants you away" Steve explained.

"Steve, the best idea is to do nothing. Trust me" Zoey explained.

"What do you mean?" Steve wondered, but Zoey whispered something in his ear.

"Please be right. The fate of our relationship depends on what my dad does" Steve said as he kissed her and left.

"I know what to do" Zoey added.

The dogs barked, wanting food.

"There are leftover hamburgers in the fridge. Oh wait, hang on" Zoey microwaves the hamburgers and feeds them after they were done to feed the dogs.

"I'll be fine, Steven" Zoey whispered.

 **End of Act 2**

 **Act 3**

Roger is packing his stuff to go away.

"Roger, I honestly don't see you going away. You'll probably send Steve's girlfriend in space, just like what you did with Jeff" Francine said.

"Franny, I will be going. Stan invited the Wilsons to see me go away. Trust me" the alien explained.

Later, it was late at night. The moment has arrived. Everyone was driving away from their homes. Bullock was following them, unbeknown to them.

The scene shifts to Steve, Stan, Zoey and her parents, Roger, Francine, Jeff, Hayley (while holding baby Mary) at an empty grassland. A spaceship has arrived. However, Bullock is behind the bushes, taking a leak on the grass.

"Why did I stopped at that 7-11?" he wondered.

"I hate to say this but Roger or Zoey or both of you have to go. I have to do this to protect my family. You can hate me but it's for your own good. Any finals words?" Stan asked.

"Just go" Steve said.

"Well, come on Zoey. One of us will go" Roger said as Zoey walks behind him. (A/E We only see her backside.)

"Don't go" Steve cried. "Wait, don't go! Take me instead. Roger, I know what you're going to do! You're going to pretend to say goodbye, only to want a hug from Zoey and send her away. I'm not falling for that trap. I'm sacrificing myself for Zoey to stay alive. Everyone listen up, the Smiths have an alien! There, I said it! Go ahead and punish us. So help me God, punish all of us and one day, everybody will be punished for one bad apple! Take me Roger with you!" Steve demanded.

"Steve, no!" Stan refused as he held on to his son's arm.

"Goodbye world" Roger began to walk towards the spaceship. "Zoey, come here darling." Zoey complied, but we still do not see her face.

"But most of all, goodbye bimbo!" Roger taunted as he threw Steve's girlfriend up to the spaceship.

"NO!" Steve cried.

 _ **BEEP  
BEEP**_

The spaceship is gone.

"Zoey is gone. I knew it! I knew it! I guess I was never destined to have a beautiful girlfriend. I thought pen123 was trustworthy! That's IT! I QUIT!" Steve removes his glasses and throws them on the grass and cries on the floor loudly.

"I'm sorry son. She's gone, but Roger is here. The secret will never be revealed" Stan patted his son's back, only to be slapped it away.

"Don't touch me! Don't talk to me! Don't even look at me! Don't even ground me! I'm not your son anymore! I lost the girl of my dreams all because you care about nobody but yourself! If you really did care, you would have taken all the blame, not the entire family! Fine, I guess I'll stay a virgin forever!" Steve shouted as Stan left him alone.

"Some attitude you have" a female voice is heard. It also made footsteps.

"Not now Hayley. I want to be left alone" Steve said as he was holding his legs and crying at the same time. He looked up, only it was…the real Zoey Wilson. (A/E She is wearing her normal outfit.)

"Zoey?! How did you…"

"You stood up for me. You were willing to sacrifice yourself to save me. I'm proud of you kiddo. You did exactly as I planned" Zoey explained as she smiled.

"Oh my God, you're okay!" Steve hugged and kissed her. "So, if you're not here, then who's in space?"

"Andy Dick" Zoey laughed as the scene shifts back to the fake "Zoey", who is actually Andy Dick disguised as Steve's girlfriend, being sucked into the spaceship.

"Thank God you're safe!" Steve cheered. Stan and the rest showed up.

"What are you doing here?!" Stan shouted, only for Michael to tie his arm in a submission. Kat slapped Stan as well.

"How dare you try to abduct my baby girl?!" she screamed. "You almost made us lose our baby girl!"

"I have to protect my family. Roger is an alien, there my son said it" Stan explained.

"We already knew. He doesn't even have a nose. I would never report it to anyone" Michael explained.

"You knew?" Stan wondered.

"Zoey's parents, please wait. Dad, I'm sorry for what I said. I just don't want to experience the same thing Hayley did when she lost Jeff. I hope you can forgive me" Steve apologized.

"No son. I should be the one apologizing. In fact, so should he" Stan explained as…Bullock appeared.

"Smith, I'm sorry about this. I need to be honest. I knew Roger was an alien all along. I want to take you away, but I couldn't. If you want, I promise to keep my mouth shut about you guys having Roger as a pet alien. I don't see him as a threat to the country. What do you say?" Bullock offered a handshake.

"You better promise" Steve accepted his handshake.

"You would do this, sir?" Stan asked.

"Of course" Bullock smiled.

"My nightmare did come true, but it has a better ending, which was hope" Steve added. "You were right Zoey."

"I told you" she smiled.

"I promise. Well, if you don't mind. I want to go watch some football" Bullock said.

"Can we come?" Steve asked.

"Come on kids" Stan said as they walked with him and his boss, along with Zoey's parents and the rest of the Smith family.

"What about me?" we see Klaus left alone at home in his bowl. The scene shifts back to outside.

"Stan, I'm sorry for hurting you" Kat apologized.

"Not to worry, Katherine. I deserved that" Stan accepted her apology.

"Zoey, I'm glad you're all right" Michael hugged her daughter.

"I'm okay dad. I knew this was going to happen. It's a cliché" Zoey laughed.

"Huh? Oh who cares? Our daughter is safe" Michael and Kat keep hugging their daughter.

"You can let go now" Zoey felt squished.

"Sorry" her parents apologized and let her go.

"Steve, come over to my house tomorrow. I have a surprise for you" Zoey added.

"But first, pen123 I'm sorry I called you untrustworthy. I hope you can forgive me. Okay, let's go" Steve said as the scene fade to black for a moment, only for Mark Johnson to appear with a scythe.

"I swear to God, anyone trying to break up Steve and Zoey, I'll kick your asses! Oh they're okay? Never mind then" Mark leaves. "Well, see you soon" he waived the audience as the scene shifts back to black again.

(A/E Play the song _Wherever You Will Go_ by The Calling for this scene. Also, I forgive you Steven Anita.)

The next day, Steve goes over to Zoey's house, who was wearing her normal outfit, but for some odd reason, she's wearing a space helmet.

"Hi Zoey, what's the surprise? Are we playing naked space people? Even better, we're playing _Star Wars_?" Steve wondered.

"Ta-da" Zoey removes her helmet, to reveal…her long beautiful light blonde hair.

"You dyed your hair?" Steve wondered as his face turned bright red.

"This is my thank you for being a wonderful boyfriend. Do you love it?" Zoey asked in a seductive tone as she waved her hair around.

"I…love…it" Steve proceeds to make out with her with the chorus of the song plays.

"I love you" Zoey said.

"I love you too" Steve repeated as the two continue to kiss while the song continues to play but fades when the screen fades to black.

 **End of Act 3 and the season**

 **Well, that's the end of the season. I hope you...oh wait, there's more! This is the official credits ending. Enjoy the following!**

(Credits Roll)

The scene takes place at a live studio.

" _And now it's time for_..."

"HOW TO DO" the audience shouted.

"... _with special guest Edward Leonard Walker_!"

Eddie Walker from _Family Guy: OC Universe_ appears, wearing a blue robe only.

(Applause)

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! Today, I will teach you the basic steps of one of my special talents: cross-dressing!" Eddie explained.

(Oohing)

"I have my assistant here, Steven Anita Smith!" Eddie said as Steve with his female persona Stacey appeared, wearing only a pink robe.

(Applause)

"You see, my good friend turned himself into a girl with a special pill. However, that's the shortcut of looking like a girl. I will teach you the long way of cross-dressing" Eddie explained.

"All you need is a pill and you're done" Steve/Stacey added.

"Shut up Steve! Where was I? Oh yes, to start, you need a good pair of bras and panties" Eddie removes his robe, revealing his pink bra and matching panties.

(Wolf whistling)

"Oh yeah? Mine is sexier!" Steve/Stacey removed his/her robe, revealing his/her red lacy bra and matching panties.

(Guys barking)

"Shake it off!" a male audience shouted.

"Uh yeah, next you want is the wig" Eddie takes out a female brunette wig and dons it.

"Boring!" Steve/Stacey yawned.

"Steven! I'm going to tell your sister! Anyways, after that, find a dress. This one is perfect!" Eddie puts on a purple dress.

"I can do that" Steve/Stacey puts on a black dress.

"Finally, the shoes" Eddie puts on a pair of red flats. "Steve, would you mind?" Steve/Stacey puts on black heels.

(Audience applause)

"The last thing you want is to change your name. I'm Emma at this point" Eddie/Emma explained.

"I'm Stacey and I'm 10 times hotter than Emma!" Steve/Stacey taunted.

(Audience laughter)

"I'm Emma and I'm a sexy straight cross-dresser!" Eddie/Emma shouted.

(Audience cheering)

"Oh yeah? I'm hotter than you!" Steve/Stacey removed his/her dressed, leaving him/her in his/her underwear.

"Cat fight, cat fight!" someone shouted.

"That tears it!" Eddie/Emma removed his/her dress as well, leaving him/her in his/her lingerie. The two boys/girls got into a dog/cat fight.

The scene shifts to a bird taking a dump on the toilet with the words "THE FOLLOWING FANFICTION STORY IS EXPERIENCING SOME TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES: PLEASE STAND BY", along with some on hold music.

 **THE END**

 **Cast:**

Seth MacFarlane (Stan Smith, Roger Smith, Greg Corbin)

Wendy Schaal (Francine Smith)

Rachael MacFarlane (Hayley Smith-Fischer)

Scott Grimes (Steve Smith)

Mae Whitman (Zoey Wilson)

Dee Bradley Baker (Klaus Heissler)

Jeff Fischer (Jeff Fischer)

Liam Hemsworth (Mark Johnson)

Madaleine Peters (Mary Fischer)

Mike Barker (Terry Bates)

Curtis Armstrong (Snot Lonstein)

Eddie Kaye Thomas (Barry Williams)

Patrick Stewart (Avery Bullock)

Kevin Michael Richardson (Principal Lewis)

John Cho (Vince Chung)

Elizabeth Banks (Lisa Silver)

Amanda Seyfriend (Amy)

Stacey Dash (Janet Lewis)

Special appearance by:

Haley Joel Osment (Eddie Walker)

The list goes on.

 **P.S. Eddie Walker is owned by aldovas.**

 **Special thanks to:  
aldovas  
prettyprincess45  
6980085LMFAO  
** **123kid  
** **Michael Muniko**

 **Well guys, Ander Arias may have said this in his fan fiction and so did Nelly Furtado, but all good things come to an end. However, the season is over. The good news is that I'm not done writing. Coming soon will be a special fan fiction with deleted scenes, holiday specials, and much more. For the third and final entry of** _ **The Book of Secret Arts**_ **series, I honestly don't know when I'll have it ready. My goal is to have it ready around December or January at the latest. For the record, book three is called** _ **Legacy**_ **. Stayed tuned for more adventures in the future. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I'll see you in two weeks with a new fan fiction with deleted scenes.**


End file.
